Comments on: Ghetto is as Ghetto does

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 02:07:00 +0000

I guess my own kids are living proof of that, but it does seem rare, coming from where you and I come from.

My niece (white) has three babies by three different (African American) men and lives in the ghetto of Springfield, Illinois. I haven’t spoken to her in 2-3 years, because I just couldn’t take the drama any more. It’s a long, ridiculous story I won’t bore you with. I miss her, but not enough to open that door again.

By: Catalina

Catalina — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 17:42:00 +0000

Sometimes the apple does fall far from the tree as with my brother. We just can’t understand why he adopted a ghetto lifestyle b/c we didn’t grow up that way. (weird) He comes with a lot of drama and wonders why everyone keeps a certain distance. We still love him even though he makes it challenging to do so. You are not alone. My hubby too has quite a handful of colorful relatives. Their stories would make a great movie. 😉

By: Cynthia

Cynthia — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 22:52:00 +0000

I hear you on that part–when it gets to the point that you can’t sleep and stay up at night worried about it (been there), it’s crossed a line. Okay if it’s humorous, not okay if life’s are in danger.

Good food for thought, unknownmami

By: Mama Zen

Mama Zen — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 17:05:00 +0000

The 911 call? I get it. I really do.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 15:48:00 +0000

Get out of the city. That is too crazy! The prison! The rifle waving! The play exuberance : )
Hilarious. Your babies are going to turn out just fine. They are so loved. Don’t you think love makes all the difference. Who has time for drama when there is so much love all around you?

By: honeypiehorse

honeypiehorse — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 10:41:00 +0000

OK your brother’s hilarious. And how nice for your aunt to be sitting in jail and see her neice on TV!

By: Cynthia

Cynthia — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 09:30:00 +0000

I might be the only one on the comments to think this way, but in total and complete honesty — I would die if I had a boring family, if there was no drama and tension and conflict. I see people all around me in DC with perfect lives and listening to them bores me to tears. Stories without conflict are no good, and I love a good story.

It’s good that you live away, for your everyday sanity, though. That’ll make it all tolerable. Suerte!

By: Kristin

Kristin — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 05:22:00 +0000

I’m pretty sure with your perspective, you’re kiddos are going to be just fine!

By: unknownmami

unknownmami — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 02:39:00 +0000

I totally understand what you are saying and I celebrate my families eccentricities. What bothers me is when they compromise their safety and well being. The examples I shared are the more humorous ones, the ones I like to re-tell, the one I didn’t share that got me upset is the kind that puts my loved one’s life in danger. It’s good not to be “normal” or vanilla, it’s great to challenge the norms, but violence is not good, it just begets more violence and it kills me that some of my family thing it’s “normal”.

On a side note, those people with perfect lives scare me. My family doesn’t scare me, they just worry me sometimes.

By: unknownmami

unknownmami — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 22:19:00 +0000

Thank you, Traci.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 22:01:00 +0000

This is what I know. Any child raised by you has every possibility of happiness because she will know love to an enormous degree, she will see determination in her daily life by her two parents committed to showing her all the possibilities in the world, she will see responsibility in the way she is cared for, and she will see parents that respect her, themselves, and each other. She has every possibility of being happy (like Put-Pie is) and being a wonderful contributor to society.

I don’t talk about my family a lot but as you may have ghetto in your family, I have redneck. A lot. And I am always torn between my great love for them and my complete aversion to much of their world. We share very little other than blood. They do not respect me or the beliefs that I hold dear. I just try to meet them where they are. Enjoy short periods of time with them and limit my children’s exposure.

There is no perfect answer but I know you are more than enough woman to love your family and protect yourself and your family. Why do I know this? Because you are an awesome woman. That’s why.

🙂
Traci
(formerly 38traci)

By: unknownmami

unknownmami — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 17:34:00 +0000

Wow!

By: blueviolet

blueviolet — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 17:15:00 +0000

You bet it’s a possibility and the fact you have an awareness of what you want to be different will ensure it happens! You’re a great mommy!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 16:51:00 +0000

You know, at least you always have an entertaining story to tell! I have a paternal Uncle (I met him once when I was very young, don’t even remember him) who had just gotten out of jail on parole for b&e and was picked up by one of his other brothers (not my father). Anyway, he asks for his brother to stop at a convenience store so he could get some smokes. HE ROBBED THE STORE! He had been on parole for like half an hour and robbed a store!

My Mom says he was the nicest one of the bunch too.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 12:32:00 +0000

What you call Ghetto, some people call just real life. Rifles in peoples faces, knives even, broken bottles, just real life. Burning people, just real life. Not to minimize your feelings, you are a caring and loving woman and because there is so much drama in the family, you can’t help feeling overwhelmed. Calling your mother is something in your control. That is a good place to start. Put the egg timer near you when you call your mother. When things get too much have the timer ring and tell her you have an appointment.
Maybe your counselor can suggest some ways for you to protect your boundaries with your mother and then extend those tools to the rest of the family. Just think how cool it is that you came from that environment, you still love your extended family, you are a wife and able to be in a loving marriage, and you are a mom in your own right, not an extension of your own mother. You are so past all that and you are still learning and getting better every day.

By: lisleman

lisleman — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 05:01:00 +0000

I guess this is off subject but being the well known Unknown blogger you are I thought you would be a good one to ask. Does anyone use blogrolls anymore? I noticed you have a list of buttons which is like your blogroll. thanks

By: Twinkiesrun

Twinkiesrun — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 04:34:00 +0000

aww Mami!!you still ok to me always!!How ya been feeling?

By: Jen

Jen — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 02:06:00 +0000

My family is pretty insane, too. At least you (we) realize there is a problem, which means you (we) can break the cycle. I have faith in you.

By: carma

carma — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 01:46:00 +0000

I like your conclusion. And those were some fantastic stories!! my family is not half as fun 🙁

By: JuneFreakingCleaver

JuneFreakingCleaver — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 01:19:00 +0000

You have the power here. YOU can be the catalyst for change. Your children will never have to have that drama and craziness in their lives – you are in charge!

And you can thank all of the crazy relatives for providing an example of behavior you will never tolerate in your own home – they did you a big favor.

Ghetto sounds a lot like white trash, it may be all a matter of geography.