Of course it is possible that what you have is good enough for him; it should be good enough.
I find it strange that he “fan club” of crazy exs that are still obsessed with him. That is not normal. Most men don’t have it like that.
Trust your gut on this.

You are not responsible for her cheating. Cheating was her choice, not yours. I’m sorry for the pain.

It hurts, i was faithful all those times i was told no, i wanted to cheay but believe in god, plus id have never hurt her, when she cheated everyone was shocked….we divorced an she went all girls gone wild for about five years, weve been divorced since 2006, an almost every day what she did crosses my mind,its unhealthy ive pushd people away im scared to get hurt again, an to find out all the lies she told about me…..basically groundwork before after an during her affair…my heart is broke an i cant get answers as to why,im a great father,provider,an never said no for sex, in fact she claims i wnted her too ofyen was one of the reasons she cheated. I dont get it.

Did you apologize to the legitimate partner who was your victim (and your affair partners victim) or do you hide behind your bipolar? It isn’t an excuse. And guilt is right to have but honestly wouldn’t she feel better if she knew you felt bad? Don’t you kind of OWE her that after what you did and helped do to her life?

I am so sorry you are hurting. I am by no means an expert and can only speak from personal experience. I think that you have been cheated on by this person two times too many. You know you want better. I’ve never even met you and I know you deserve better.
Visit me at: http://www.unknownmami.com.

You just described the feeling to a T!! I have been cheated on many times and I always take them back. I have one question tho…I really love this person and he has cheated one me twice and the first time was right when we first got together and then a year and a half went by and i thought we had moved foward but he did it again about a month after our 2 year aniversary!!! My heart has been ripped and crushed twice I dont know what to do? Do people ever change or is the saying once a cheater always a cheater true?

My very first boyfriend cheated constantly and it has always been an issue in his life.

I’m sorry you are going through something so difficult. I don’t think it is an easy thing to get over at all. I think it’s pretty huge. Having kids must make it exponentially worse.

Thank you for your time and love! 🙂

First of all, thank you for sharing so much of your heart and self.

It is obvious from reading what you wrote that the pain runs deep, but it is also obvious that you know what you have to do. It is not your ex’s job to take care of you, it’s yours. We all make mistakes, but she keeps making mistakes at your expense. You have to take care of yourself and stop letting that pain continue. You can’t completely heal if you keep reopening the wound. And yes, you are right: YOU DESERVE MUCH BETTER.

I’ve never ever ever felt so much devastation, like I was dying, day in day out and had such an awful pit in my stomach constantly. She continued (and is still) dating that girl, who was also a friend of mine. I have felt sooo pushed away and left out and kept crying over and over again, “why don’t you care that you’re losing me??” even as a “friend” I felt like she had just pulled the cord and thrown away EVERYTHING we had built… there is no way to have a friendship now.

A little over a year later, and we’ve still had back and forth emotional struggles, she doesn’t tell the new girl about things that go on between us physically/sexually or even with her and other people, and it all drives me crazy. I know I just need to step away from the situation all together. Sometimes I still get so infuriated, I want to just pop the little delusional bubble above the head of the new girl who stands by like an idiot while my ex gets her immaturity together. (pardon me… that sentence was loaded with a ton of judgement)… but my ex will still contact me about hanging out as “friends” and still wants me in her life, and the worst part is that she claims she DOESN’T want to lose me, and the ideal situation would’ve been to break up on much much better terms so I didn’t lose her either… but I’m afraid it’s too late for that. Yet I miss her a ton, and obviously still love her, but the pain is just still so prominent and deep.

I spend much of my days trying not to text her and focus on NOT thinking about them. I still avoid social scenarios where I may bump into them. And today, while googling for articles that may help me, I realized that I’m just giving them all of my power. My power and control was taken from me when she decided to break my trust, and then lie over and over again, while continuing to sleep with me, and even recently when we’ve had “loving” exchanges and she’s turned around and said, “let’s just keep this between us, ok?”…. Seriously?? That was a final straw for me… I am better that all of this, and their new relationship will implode with time. But for now, I like to imagine that they’re happy as can be, and I can just go on and live my life without having to think about all of the drama. I can be happy for someone who’s happy. I want to take my power back in a positive way.

I’m so sorry you went through such a difficult relationship.

The first boyfriend I ever had cheated on me incessantly. In the three years we were together I don’t think he was ever faithful to me for over a month. Time and time again I would find out that he had cheated and time and time again I would forgive him. It’s not even that I would forgive him, I just couldn’t leave him. I wasn’t ready to.
Finally, when I was ready to leave him it was more because I could no longer stand myself around him. I had become pathetic, angry, bitter, and so unhappy.
I left him and I was a mess. His legacy of cheating turned me into a jittery mistrustful person. The next time I was in a relationship, I cheated. I do not blame anyone else for my behavior, but a big part of it was that I was so afraid of going through the same pain again that I just wanted to be the one responsible for the demise. I was super young. 21. The person I was with was older…30. We broke up. I was actually the one that broke up with him because really after cheating on him the relationship was a sham. I never told him that I cheated on him, I didn’t see the point in hurting him like that and quite frankly it was cowardice…but I’m sure he knew. It is still one of my biggest regrets in life that I would hurt someone that did not deserve it in such an awful way. My excuse was that I had been cheated on, but really that’s exactly why I should have known better.
My first boyfriend did not intend to damage me by cheating on me, he was just damaged. It’s like the saying, “hurt people hurt people.”
You were not stupid for not leaving your boyfriend when you knew he cheated on you, you just weren’t ready to leave.
This is a rambling response because your comment touched me.

I am now married. I love my husband and respect him. We’ve both had less than perfect romantic pasts, but when we got together we were ready to move on, to grow. I can’t imagine the pain I would feel if he cheated on me, I don’t want to imagine it so I don’t spend time thinking about it. I know that I am not willing to jeopardize what we have and I trust that he feels the same way.
Cheating is ugly. It jeopardizes your health: mental, physical, and emotional.
Thank you for sharing your story.

Visit me at: http://www.unknownmami.com.

Yes most people would say it’s my own fault and I agree.  I should been gone the moment he tried to say he didn’t cheat on his last ex when he did.  But I believed the bs.  What I will say is relationship helped me feel pain, helped me to know the signs, helped me to figure out what I truly want and don’t want.  If you don’t go through it you never know.