Warning: If you don’t want to read about my vagina or what it can do, DO NOT READ THIS POST!!!
If the title didn’t scare you away: Welcome! For those of you who have been here awhile you are probably aware that I do a weekly feature called, “I Comment Therefore I Am”, I was going to save a recent exchange that started in the comments section of a blog for that feature, but my vagina wouldn’t let me.
Here’s the backstory: Nancy from Away We Go wrote a post called Taco Tales (and she wasn’t talking about the ones you buy at Taco Bell). In it she mentioned that she plays this game with a friend where they brag about what their “respective snatches” can do. Well, I’m very competitive and I wanted in on this game so I left the following comment:
Puh-leaze, my vagina can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan.
My vagina was once cast as Richard the III. Sure people were confused, but I’m sure Shakespeare was proud.
Nancy responded:
My vagina, thankfully, has never been compared to Falstaff.
My vagina once split the atom. Just sayin.
I responded:
I wouldn’t brag about your vagina splitting the atom. My vagina is committed to bringing about world peace. It’s a uniter, not a divider.
Nancy responded:
Um….clean fuel? Mine is all about decreasing the dependency on foreign oil.
I responded:
Well then you should use yours to suck up BP’s oil spill. I’m just sayin’, talk is cheap.
Nancy responded:
Why the vagina tactic has not been employed already remains a mystery. Mine would clean up that shit in a second.
I responded:
You know I’m going to have to blog this, right? It might be next week’s installment of I Comment Therefore I Am.
Nancy responded:
My vagina already wrote it and got 200 comments.
I responded:
Your vagina is such an over achiever! You must be so proud. Pardon me while I go give my vagina a pep talk.
That’s where I called it quits. It is obvious that Nancy has the bigger vagina.
And that’s enough vagina silliness for one post. Unless you would like to add some in the comments section.
This makes me so very happy. My vagina is waving its pom-poms and doing a herky jump for you.
wow. i need to read the warning labels better…smiles.
Man your vagina is on it! You read the post even before I sent you an email about it.
I’m surprised nobody mentioned pushing out a baby with a head the size of a melon, but I guess we can all do that.
Wow! My vagina is feeling really insecure. She and I have had a conversation and we agree that she really needs to focus and become more goal oriented. She thinks that a blog might be helpful. What do you think? Should my vagina have its own blog?
P.S. Is there anyone who doesn;t want to read about your vagina> Just sayin’.
Ha ha, the Vagina Dialogues!!
Eeeek! I’m laughing hysterically while I’m blushing! #1, I never use the “v-word.” I just say “stuff.” I guess I don’t have a #2. You just made a black woman blush!
No, no, I think you guys are doing good. 🙂
Fun-ny!
O.M.G.!!! LMAO You and Nancy crack me up!
And because I am laughing so hard right now I can’t come up with a dang thing my vagina does….it’s lazy! haha
Holy Vagisil!!!
OMG.
That’s all I got.
LOL!!
I am dying over here! This is hilarious!
mine’s organic. does the husband’s body good.
HAAAAAAA!!! I couldn’t possibly add anything funnier than that post right there!!!
My….don’t do it…don’t do it…
My HAT goes off to both of you! (that killed me by the way)
If this isn’t entertaining, I don’t know what is. Wow.
You ladies are cracking me up. I’m about to pee on myself and I can’t even blame it on my vagina. Three kids by c section cause that little b**ch couldn’t relax herself.
I still love her, though.
Love this! Society needs more Hero Vaginas.
Hilarious!! So glad I wasn’t scared away…but of course, MY vagina doesn’t get scared! 😛
You guys are too much. Thanks for sharing.
You guys are too much. Thanks for sharing.
My vagina has taken a momentary vow of silence, so she can’t answer your challenge right now. Leave a message at the beep.
um…oh….speechless;)
Steven Anthony
Man Dish~Metro Style
not having one (and glad for it) it’s hard to get my head around this subject. Just wondering though, do any of your other body parts get jealous?
There is never a dull moment over here. hysterical
“Well then you should use yours to suck up BP’s oil spill.”
BEST line of the bunch!
Oh yeah!!?! Well, my vagina….wait a minute. I don’t have a vagina. Never mind. But if I did I would be too busy playing with it to clean up oil spills, act in Shakespearian plays or otherwise change the world. It would probably be the newness of the whole experience. No pun intended.
oh haha, now that is hilarious!!!
This was a HILARIOUS post! I seriously am laughing so hard right now!
Does Nancy want to be known as having the bigger vagina?
my vagina is so big it has it’s own fanpage
Better her than me.
My vagina is laughing hysterically. She is also feeling a bit competitive now and thinking of all kinds of naughty words to summon up a vagina throw down.
Best,
Tina
OMGosh……YOU are hilarious! And as I read through all these comments, all of you guys are cracking me up with all this vagina talk! (I’m sure all of your vaginas can beat up my vagina, so I’m not even going to go there~!) :):)
Funniest post I’ve read in awhile! Thanks for the giggle!
Mine is quietly whimpering in the corner in shame. It’s a little jealous, I think.
My vagina got a splitting headache from laughing out loud and making burping sound from too much air rushing in. She is now having performance anxiety ever since she read about this. She managed to finish reading all 10,376 posts on the Google reader and leave intelligent, perceptive, thought-provoking (and heart-warming if the situation called for it) comments on all. She also tweeted about this and immediately got more followers than @aplusk!
Ha! Now that’s a keeper 🙂 Too funny.
My vagina has the giggles after reading this post…oh…and it’s totally jealous of your vagina…
You certainly met your match in Nancy. She is scary. Hey, I am just happy that mine keeps peace in one home. Ha.
I have no words for your awesomenss. (Or Nancy’s)
Dude. I need to give my vagina a pep talk! She ain’t pulling the weight around here like she should! LOL. Thanks for the laugh 🙂
This is good but please don’t take it too far.
I would NOT want you to start something like “Sundays in my Vagina”.
You gals are crazy. Love it!
OMGosh, I’ll have to say this is one subject I’ve not run up against today. Heeehehehehe….you guys crack me up….dyin’ here! I think mine might be blushin’ a bit!
God bless ya and have a terrific day!!!
OH my, my vagina is doing the wave and laughing its … er… head off!
Great post but y’know, the title really said it all. There should be a title award!
I tweeted and Facebooked this post. I thought I’d left a brilliant comment but I can’t find it any more. I need to go have a talk with my vagina for messing things up thus…
You did leave a brilliant comment and for some reason Disqus is not showing it, but WP knows you left it. Maybe Disqus is jealous of your vagina.
OMG!!! hahahah! your just killing me Mami!!
I WAS having a hard time leaving a comment. Thankfully, my vagina can type.
Thank goodness for a vagina with secretarial skills!
Visit me at: http://www.unknownmami.com.