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By Claudya

Funny San Francisco Latina Blogger

November 18, 2009 Claudya Martinez

The Time My Mom Wore a See-Through Bathing Suit

woman in pool

Growing up, I was cursed blessed with a gorgeous single mother. My mother is not shy and she has always enjoyed an admiring male gaze.  The admiring gazes abounded and for the most part I tried to ignore the attention she garnered.

In my teen years, I had an attitude and if my mother wanted to do something it was pretty much guaranteed that I would not want to be doing the same thing. We lived in the San Fernando Valley where it gets hotter than hot. Our apartment building had a pool and on her days off my mom would ask if I’d like to join her for a swim. I don’t know why she bothered asking because I always said no.

Well, this one particular time she asked and I said no and told her I was going to do laundry instead. She headed out to the pool in a brand new white bathing suit. A few minutes later, I cut across the pool area to get to the laundry room.  As I passed, I saw my mom getting situated. The only other person there was a Man.

The Man was not sitting near my mom, but he was ogling her and I rolled my eyes as I passed by because I knew it was just a matter of time before he made his move.

When I headed back from the laundry room and approached the pool area I could tell that both my mom and the Man had gone in the pool because they were wet.  My mom was sunning herself in the same chair as before, but the man was now sitting next to her, chatting her up, and sort of leaning toward her reclined body. He seemed awfully close and was staring, but not at her face.

Why was he leaning into her so much, I wondered? It didn’t take long to find out.

As I got closer, I could see that my mom’s brand new white bathing suit had become see-through when wet. That man was getting quite an eyeful. I was mortified at first, but then I was livid.

I yelled, “Ama! Tu traje de baño!” (Mom! Your bathing suit!)

She looked down as the Man shot up and started walking away.

My mom saw all her goodies on display, jumped up and said, “Hijo de su chingada madre!” (expletives directed at the Man).

The Man hightailed it out of the pool area and then my mom started laughing her ass off as she wrapped herself up in a towel and said, “Ni modo” (Oh, well).

Needless to say, she never wore that bathing suit again.

ALSO READ: My Mom Sent My Daughter A Doll With a Penis

Filed Under: Humor

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Welcome, I am your host Claudya Martinez. I'm a bilingual Latina raising multicultural kids in San Francisco. WARNING: I have a sense of humor that I'm not afraid to use. Hang out, stay un poco and let's get to know each other. Read More…

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