Since I speak Spanish and English, I am of course bringing up issues that come up for people who speak those two languages, but I’m sure much of this applies to people who speak any two languages. Without further ado, here are 11 problems bilingual people have:
1. Sometimes people talk MIERDA about you in Spanish because they think you won’t understand, but you totally do.
2. Other times people will talk SHIT about you in English because they think you won’t understand, but you totally do.
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3. Everyone you know who only speaks Spanish wants to use you as a free translating service.
4. Everyone you know who only speaks English wants you to teach them curse words in Spanish.
5. Whenever you go to a Latin restaurant you feel like everyone is waiting to see if you’ll order in English or Spanish so they can judge you.
6. Sometimes you forget how to say something in Spanish and you are all like, “¿Cómo se llama esa cosa…una ‘spoon’?
7. Other times you forget how to say something in English and you are all like, “How do you say ‘cuchara’ in English?”
8. If you talk in your sleep you never know what language it’s going to come out in.
9. You misread things all the time because you are reading in the wrong language.
10. People you date want you to speak to them in whatever language they don’t speak because they think it sounds sexy.
11. When non-Spanish speakers find out you speak Spanish they assume you must be a great salsa dancer.