Now that I’ve outed my pregnancy, you will most likely be subjected to endless updates. If there was a pregnancy font, I would use it so that you could skip over those parts if you are not interested, but there isn’t so humor a pregnant lady.
I went to see my gynecologist for the first time this pregnancy. My first prenatal visit was with an RN. I love my doctor and she was so excited and welcoming. I have insurance through Kaiser and I know that many people have complaints about them, but they really took care of me during my first, very difficult pregnancy and I am grateful (This is not a plug for Kaiser, this is just my opinion).
I suffered from severe panic attacks during my first pregnancy and with the help of my doctor, counselor, and psychiatrist I made it through. I was put on medication during pregnancy. Can you imagine what a difficult decision that was, especially for someone that suffers from panic disorder? It was probably the most difficult decision I have ever made in my life. The guilt was excruciating and there were many that made me feel judged for opting to take medication.
I am still on medication. Today I checked in with my pregnancy counselor and discussed my feelings about being medicated. Why am I telling you this? Because I still feel shame associated with being on medication especially while pregnant, but I need to let go of that shame. My counselor suggested that I should be proud of myself for seeking help and taking care of my mental health. Brain chemistry is a complicated thing. I feel blessed that I live in an era where I was able to find the help and understanding that I needed. I really thought I was losing my mind. What I found out is that this happens to many pregnant women (the hormones can really get to you). So I hope no one suffers in silence. I hope no one is stigmatized. If you need help, get it. The help is out there.
Unknown Papi, the inventor is at it again. Awhile back he invented the word, “vaginormous”. Today he coined, “fudiculous”. It’s more like he is an ordained minister for words. He likes to bring two separate words and unite them into one. Hence vagina + enormous = vaginormous and f@cking + ridiculous = fudiculous.
Speaking of Unknown Papi, he really made my day. We’ve been rather broke, like flat broke. Today, he asked me what I wanted to do and I said, “whatever”. He told me he had a little money and he wanted to take me shopping for some maternity clothes. It was so fudiculously sweet! I felt so loved and spoiled.
And that’s all she wrote!
Kloud1026 says
I LOVE Unknown Papi's made-up words 🙂 They are much better than using “smog” for teaching the blended word concept to my students 😉
dina@4lettrewords says
That Papi is brilliant. We have nothing but love for Kaiser, too!
lifewithkaishon says
A baby!
A BABY!
A BABY!
Oh my gosh. I am so happy.
Super duper happy. I just told Gary.
He isn't as happy but that is only because he doesn't understand blogging and how someone could be so excited for someone they only know online.
He is fudiculous : )
XO XO XO
OH MY GOSH I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!
brainella says
Never feel guilt for taking care of yourself; you need to be healthy in order for your baby to be healthy. BTW — what is your due date?!
unknownmami says
Feb. 20th.
unknownmami says
Thank you!
Heidi says
I'm sorry you still feel shame about taking your meds. You made the right decision and it's plain as day for all the world–look how wonderfully happy and healthy Put Pie is. It's because you're a fantastic mom who takes care of herself. That's a lesson I'm still learning. I'm not embarrassed to say I want back on my depression and anxiety drugs in May and even went back to therapy for a while to get over the trauma of my pregnancy. There is no shame or weakness in taking care of your mental health. xoxo
Jeanie says
You should be very proud of yourself for getting the help you needed and I agree with your advice to other…If you need help, get it.
unknownmami says
Thank you for being such a supportive friend. I am truly grateful that we have reconnected.
W.C. Camp says
Congrats on the upcoming munchkin. Enjoy the experience even with the ups and downs. Glad you got to have a little fun today. Chin up, your fortunes are changing for the better! W.C.C.
Mrs4444 says
Um…Are you sure you don't want to add a disclaimer about whose ginormous vagina he's referring to? (Just sayin'…) LOL
I'm glad you unloaded the med thing–I hope it made you feel better. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
Sami says
I missed it? Huh?
OMG you are preggo! Yeehaw and wow!!
Super happy for you!
Hopefully this time around will be more enjoyable for you (though both of my pregnancies were crappola start to finish!). Take care of that brain of yours–it's important. Do what you gotta do.
Odd as well–i seem to read a lot of ladies living in So Cal….is Kaiser the 'main' hospital system??
unknownmami says
It's insurance based and I have Kaiser as my insurance so that's where I go. But there are all sorts of other insurance providers where you go to different doctors.
The Bipolar Diva says
awwwww, he's so sweet.
On being medicated and pregnant, doctors know so much these days and kudos to you for taking charge. Your state of mind affects the baby too. You're doing a good thing 🙂
Dwmatty says
Congratulations!! Here's to a healthy pregnancy.
Your papi is a gem.
mimbles says
I've just started back on anti-depressants this week. You need help, you get help, it's the logical and responsible thing to do. *hugs*
DysfunctionalMom says
I LOVE fudiculous. I am so using that one!
Thank you for your honesty regarding your anxiety issues, meds, and pregnancy. Although I was still undiagnosed with all my pregnancies, I still have a hard time talking about my issues and meds because there is so much judgment attached to taking medications for mental health. I understand that meds can be overused, but for those of us who truly need them, they are lifesavers, literally.
Wishing you the best! xoxo
Lindyloumac says
My thoughts will be with you even if I do not comment on your pregnancy very often. Take Care .
brian says
way to go papi! way to treat your wife!
and heres hoping this pregnancy goes smooth…smiles.
Tara R. says
My son was diagnosed with panic disorder and OCD almost five years ago. He takes medication too. I'll tell you what I tell him… if you had cancer or epilepsy and had to take medication, there would be no shame. It should be no different with this disorder. It frustrates me that there is still a stigma attached to these thought disorders, but talking about them, showing that every day people suffered through this, will help change that. You do what you have to, to be healthy for you and for your family.
Auntnikki12 says
Unknown Papi has a talent!!! 🙂
I hate labels. I hate stigmatization. I hate feeling like I have to HIDE the fact that I am on medication. Thats one thing I battle all the time. People are so gung ho about NOT being on medication. What if you were really sick with a contagious something, and you refused medication and you spread this sickness to everybody else and totally eradicated the human race? (yes, I know thats fudiculously over dramatization but anyway)
I think it is very responsible of you for doing what you need to do to take care of yourself and that includes the baby. I'm proud of you. You know what they say… you cannot really and truly take care of somebody else unless you can take care of yourself too.
doreen mcgettigan says
Congratulations on your newest impending little one. You are very brave to realize you need help. Throw that guilt right out the window. My daughter (the one that just had Peyton Elizabeth) has a very bad back and she too suffers panic attacks. She saw a counselor throughout her pregnancy. She was so afraid for the baby and I so wish I could have taken that fear for her. But here we are with a precious, safe and healthy 2 month old..who I am proud to say has joined Mom-Moms cult and gives the biggest smile when I hold her.
Just try to keep the big picture with you..the end result. Your husband was very sweet to take you shopping and I love his words!
Leigh says
Congrats on the upcoming addition to your family! Love the new words!
BLOGitse says
O-la-laa how fudiculously great husband you have!
Coby says
What a great Unknown Papi to take you shopping for maternity clothes!
I think our jobs as moms is to be as healthy as we can be for our kids – whether they're in utero or out. If that means you have to take medicine while pregnant, so be it. I can only imagine what a difficult decision that was for you, and I'm sorry people judged you for it.
Nessa says
Tom Cruise is nuts. That's someone who should be on medication and isn't. He should feel guilt and shame, not you.
I like the Papi.
Meeko Fabulous says
I'm proud of you too. How are you gonna take care of PutPie and BundleOfJoy if you aren't at your very best? X's and O's. 🙂
TechnoBabe says
I really like fudiculous. He is my hero.
steven anthony says
sounds like congrats are in order, on the pregnancy and on the hubs…he is a keeper 😉
Steven Anthony
http://manndish.blogspot.com/
unknownmami says
Mine too.
Gina says
Congrats on the pregnancy! I'm with your doctor and counselor – a healthy mom is important to pregnancy, even if it means taking medication. At least they are working with you so that they can manage the medication so it's not dangerous! Better living through pharmaceuticals!
Your hubs has some great new words. I might have to work them into my vocab!
The Urban Cowboy says
“Vaginormous”? I'm not even going there, but I may have to include fudiculous into my vocabulary.
Rebecca says
Well I'm still laughing about your mom and the fart story. I can't really get past that.
BUT, you wouldn't feel ashamed to go to the doctor if you sliced your finger open while dicing onions, would you? If You need stitches, you go to the doctor to get them and you tell your family the story about how you nearly cut your finger off dicing onions. No big deal, right? You are throwing up for the 10 straight day and you go to the doctor to get some anti throw up medicine……..You fart all over a poor lady in a wheel chair and your mom suggests you go to the doctor. If your brain doesn't feel right then you should GO TO GET IT FIXED.
VM Sehy Photography says
Hope you found some cute maternity clothes. I can understand feeling ambigous about being on medication during a pregnancy. They wanted me to take prozac, but I didn't really think I needed it so I declined. It would seem to me if the medications are safe, and you need it to be 100%, then you should take them. Here's hoping you have a very smooth pregrnancy.
Camp1974 says
Everytime I read about that man, I'm just a bit happier for you. He seems like such a good guy.
lisleman says
a pregnancy font ?? I guess it would have enlarged 'b' letters that want to turn into 'z's. Also the 'p's would be overused.
Now if I could only remember to say fudiculous instead of usual f-bomb version I might get less backlash from my wife.
Saltsays says
CONGRATS ON YOUR PREGNANCY, MAMI!!!
And no my caps lock was not just stuck…I am SO excited for you!! 🙂
Mama Zen says
Do NOT feel guilty about taking the meds. Panic disorder can be debilitating.
Classic NYer says
Your hubby absolutely rocks!
Cheeseboy says
I know I am a dude, but sometimes spending just a little money makes me feel better too. I do hope all goes well for you through this pregnancy.
Sue says
Yay! A baby!!! I would not worry about meds while you are pregnant because mental health is just as important as physical health. Good for you!
And love the new words!
mrsblogalot says
Awww! He is fudiculously awesome! What a guy (is there a great husband font?…someone get right on that please)
You take care of yourself!!!
Ttownsend says
I promise I won't ever get sick of pregnancy updates!! That was really sweet of Unknown Papi!!
lisleman says
Just gave you a shout out over at A Few Clowns Short.
You'll know why if you stop over take a look.
Sarahruthie says
CONGRATS! life happens so fast sometimes. i hope you enjoy each moment. and, i hope that you found some fabulous finds while shopping. my sweats got a workout during my pregnancy but, it is fun to dress up once in a while with that ever growning belly.
please stop by to see what we have been up to and enter the giveaways for envirosax and fshionably bowtique. http://www.littlecitizensoftheworld.blogspot.com
also, with a little one on the way, please let me know if i can create something just for you. http://www.melondot.etsy.com
immyyas says
You will never bore me with pregnancy talk, I love everything about pregnancy & babies. YAY!!! I too love Kaiser! I had them with all 3 of my pregnancies. My first pregnancy left me on bedrest for about the a month & 1/2 or so due to high blood pressure. I wasn't good at bed rest & ended up having my daughter 3 1/2 weeks early & a emergency c section to boot. Pregnency #2 pretty routine & then #3 I ended up with gestational diabetes. Kaiser was on top of every single issue & gave the BEST care. I hope you have great care throughout this pregnancy as well!
Oh & rock on Papi… love the new words but LOVE even more he suprised you with a lil shopping!
Tiffontheverge says
first, congratulations!
i didn't experience panic attacks until after i had my first baby 3 years ago. i wasn't even sure what was happening at the time, but the anxiety is awful. with the help of my therapist, we're making it through…good luck to you!
Georgina99 says
Thank you for sharing your feelings and fears about taking medications while pregnant. A dear friend had a similar experience and also felt all the shame and guilt that you described. I was appalled at how many people, who were not even medical professionals, thought it was their right to tell her what to do. Pregnant women are not public property! – G
I'm not Rosie! says
OMG OMG OMG. Where was I? Oh in my drunken stupor I missed the big announcement. I am so happy for you! YEAH YEAH! (I love the comment by lifewithkaishon by the way. 🙂 )
Please tell Papi to continue to make up words. We’ve got his back. LOL. You should also add those words to Urban Dictionary which is now my favorite dictionary. 😉
Anonymous says
I LOVE the new word. I’m gonna use it. Also, the medication while being pregnant is something that so many women deal with. I was on it too. 🙁 But at some point you weight the options; healthy momma and healthy baby or healthy baby with a psycho momma. :/
Jen says
thanks for this, I started taking zoloft a month ago and haven’t told anyone, not even sure it’s working. I feel kind of ashamed too.but in reading this, I say, you have nothing to be ashamed of. so I guess I shouldn’t.
glad you got some new clothes 🙂
unknownmami says
Give it some time. The one thing that was extremely frustrating to me when I started taking the medication was that I needed help NOW and the meds just don’t work that way. It took a full 6 weeks for mine to kick in. I started with Celexa, which for me sucked. I was on it for 2 weeks and then insisted it be changed because the cure was worse than the affliction. I was switched to Zoloft and for me it really helped with the anxiety. A few months ago I switched to a very low dosage of Prozac and it really works for me.
Also, even though I got some really judgmental feedback from some, I also found out that soo many people had been through similar things. I even found out that my mother is on Zoloft and I didn’t know. She didn’t tell me because apparently I can be very judgmental. Live and learn.
Anonymous says
I am so stinking proud of you for taking care of yourself. We have to learn to love ourselves first. Way to live it, Mami!!
So, am I crocheting in pink, blue or….?