This is a personal blog. I have children, but I don’t consider myself a “Mommy” blogger, I just happen to be a Mami with a blog. I’ll blog about whatever strikes my fancy, I’ll curse when deemed necessary and sometimes just because I feel like it. Making you laugh is a not so secret joy of mine.
I blog anonymously, but I reveal quite a bit about myself. I am as honest and open as I can be.
There have been tough times and I have revealed them here. The support I’ve found is immeasurable. There is a sense of camaraderie.
Some of you have been around since the very beginning of this blog and we’ve come to “know” each other. We’ve come to trust each other.
Blogging implies that you want a sort of relationship with your reader, it is interactive. Loyalty and trust are developed via reading and conversations emerge in the comments section.
How would you feel then if after getting to “know” me here, after thinking that I am a Latina woman, living in San Francisco, married to Unknown Papi, with two daughters (Put Pie and Luna Pie), you all of a sudden found out that I am a single white male living in Utah? Would you feel betrayed? Would it bother you that you had allowed yourself to care about the person you thought I was only to find out that I am someone totally different? Would my funny posts no longer be funny? Would the tears some of you shed with me during my pregnancy now feel like so much wasted emotion?
Rest assured that behind the paper bag, I am still the same blogger I’ve always claimed to be.
I bring this up because I recently read an article, “How To Be a Lesbian Blogger“. The article is about two lesbian bloggers (unrelated to each other) that have been recently outed as actually being men.This just strikes me as wrong; the farce, not the outing. Sure I blog anonymously, but I don’t claim to be something that I’m not just to give myself credibility that I wouldn’t otherwise have.
I didn’t follow either of these two “bloggers” and I am so glad that I didn’t because if they were good writers and I became invested in their stories and later found out that it was bogus, I would be pissed and hurt.
If you want to write fiction, then write fiction. Do not call it your life story. Do not pretend that it was an exercise to strengthen your creative writing as one of the men did. I love reading fiction, I just don’t like being told it’s non-fiction.
There are simply asswipes in this world who don’t care that others invest themselves in their faux emotions. In the long run, we’re not being betrayed by the person we came to care about if they didn’t truly exist. We’re just being betrayed by some asswipe. It’s disturbing that people can so easily do that from behind their monitor but they do, and a whole lot worse.
It’s pretty much the same as those people who have written these amazing memoirs that have been published into books, life changing books, and then we find out it was completely made up. Even if they are not technically breaking rules or laws, ethically it’s wrong! Unfortunately I think much of society today is morally bankrupt. It would never occur to me to pretend to be someone else. But for plenty it’s whatever will get them the fast buck or the limelight or whatever it is they are seeking.
I sometimes read (I’m not a follower) a blog, and when ever I do read it, I get a weird vibe. I’m beginning to think this person is blogging for sympathy and handouts and to take advantage of the kindness of other bloggers. It’s just my instinct. Shame on those who deceive and take advantage of people. However, Karma is a B*%#^, so hopefully what come around, goes around.
Marilizsmusings
I have a post in my drafts folder referencing this exact topic.
What I do not understand is why they do not simply state that it is a work of fiction. It is not as though we the public are unable to become interested in fictional works. The idea that lying to their readers assists in their development as creative writers is foolish; deception is not part of the creative writing process.
i think you’ve summed up what many bloggers/readers felt when the two blogs were exposed as works of fiction, not reality. what they did, as writers, was unethical. what they did as human beings was hateful and in the case of the “syrian” blogger probably put quite a few gays and lesbians in even MORE danger! xoxoxo
I agree! I don’t want to be totally mislead that way, either.
Before becoming lisleman – I was Enrique Martin. The dancing and singing just got to be too much, so I let Ricky go and stuck with Lisleman.
Speaking of these fakes/frauds there has been many both men and women. If you believe some of the stories (tough believing a story about a fake – double fake?), a few started out as a whim and then they couldn’t stop and just got deeper and deeper.
What would probably bother me the most were the thoughts of laughter and warped entertainment they were getting at the expense of their readers. (Like…HA, can you believe they bought that load of crap!)
Hmm…well shame on them for making the rest of us all potential liars! Ugh. Only takes a few.
Completely agree with you. If you’re writing from first person perspective for fiction as an exercise, at least give us suckers a head’s up. It does feel like cheating. Of course there are a group of people out there who disguise themselves for sheer personal entertainment. These are the same morons, or same type of people, who spread those stupid viruses – because they can. Hate them.
Some people get an emotional high while deceiving others. They feel empowered because they think they are smarter than the rest of us. Sadly they lie to themselves just as much as they lie to others. Deceiving themselves into this fantasy that they are smarter because they were able to con others. I’m glad I didn’t read either of those blogs.
I agree! Great post…
It’s funny you wrote this. There is a blogger I follow that I’ve come to realize makes a lot of stuff up. That in itself I have no problem with, but when this person tries to pass it off as “real life” it kind of ticks me off. But I’ve come to realize that they are insecure in who they are and are creating a persona that they wish they were. So I guess I can understand that. But as for those guys passing themselves off as lesbians…..that’s just wrong. As you said “If you want to write fiction, then write fiction.” Don’t pass it off as real life. Ok, there’s my dissertation, sorry for the rant. And I’d love you paper bag or not!
I have heard of blogs like that. Complete fabrications for the joy of the person getting away with it. It just seems soooo strange! Why? Why? Why? But then you’d have to explain why people circle emails about fake missing children, and false illnesses, and computer viruses….
Really, it’s sad. I am glad to know you are you, and you are true in emotion and heart. It shows through your writing.
Whew. For a second, I thought, “What?! I’m meeting a Mormon guy in the park? Maybe I should cancel!” Thank goodness.
Yes, that would tick me off!!!
You made me laugh.
Good!
Very interesting post. Who has time to write that kind of sham? I mean really, it must be people so delusional that it comes easily. A real egoist would want people knowing it’s them (that’s why there are fiction writers) so I think it’s more than that. I would probably be upset if I got to know someone (who was pulling malarkey) and invested in their life by reading and commenting. The only way I would be more understanding is if the blog posts were part of writing a book. But I don’t know, I can’t know unless it actually happens to me.
I think with blogging, like life we need read, enjoy, invest…but with some caution.
as always another great post friend
I do agree with you 100%, writting undercover to protect a person’s identity is a fair choice but claiming to be something that you are not is ethically wrong, and cruel to people’s emotions.
I have thought this before…what if everyone was lying on their blogs? I certainly hope not. Very interesting!
That hasn’t been something I have thought much about but how the heck do we know fellow bloggers are being honest? And is that a requirement? And if it is, why would it be? I for one blog anonymously as you do. My reasons are not the same as yours, but I don’t think I will ever feel safe revealing a clear picture of myself and especially will not put my name on the internet. Writing my blog has been a help with my discovering my inner person and letting go of so much of my past. I agree with so many people who say if you want to write fiction, do it, and let it be known as fiction, don’t try to pass off fiction as biographical.
I was shocked when I read about that blog too; and not that much fuss was made about it because it was such an important cause or some such thing; I don’t take kindly to being misled and would never do that to my handful of readers. Like you, I’m the real deal.
You know, on some level, why does it matter? Would your world collapse if you found out that your favorite blogger was a fraud? Would you lose your job? Would your kids get sick? And then, how deep does a lie have to be before it’s unacceptable? What if they were straight girls, or gay guys? Would you stop reading my blog if I actually lived in New Jersey?
The reason I’m taking this position is that 1. I like being the devil’s advocate sometimes and 2. don’t tell anyone, but I lie on my blog all the time. I tell you all that I’m the world’s greatest singer, that I’m a superwoman, that I’m “exotic” (whatever the fuck that means anyway), that my everyday foolishness is justifiable, etc, and in truth I can’t really verify any of those statements.
I actually kind of have a fear that one day one of you will meet me and think “she’s nothing like the chick I thought she was.” Maybe I’m a fraud… if I were, would it matter?
No, seriously… would it?
There is a difference between being delusional and being a liar. I’m fine with self-aggrandizing, flights of fancy, you name it…BUT this just struck me as wrong for so many reasons. I could go on and on about it, but what mostly bothers me is this…(I quote from the article I referenced) “By going lesbian, MacMaster and Graber capitalize twice: first on the
oppressed class of women and then on the minority status of lesbians. As
the more-ambitious fabulist, MacMaster expands his con to include
ethnicity and faith by making Amina a half-Syrian Muslim. I’m sure that
had he continued his ruse, MacMaster would have eventually put Amina in a
wheelchair, sent her to a 12-step program, and hospitalized her for
anorexia.”
I don’t know maybe you are a horrible singer, have a tension-free relationship with your mother, have so much money that you burn it for warmth in your fireplace, but I doubt it. You aren’t misrepresenting yourself to get ahead and these fools were.
I wouldn’t lose my job, but I would lose faith and trust and walking around feeling like you can’t trust people who say they are telling the truth sucks. Sure everything online should be taken with a grain of salt, but this hoax would require desalinating large parts of the ocean.
I don’t know maybe you are a horrible singer, have a tension-free relationship with your mother, have so much money that you burn it for warmth in your fireplace, but I doubt it.
You know, I kind of like your version of my reality better than my version…
I assume that every blog I read is non-fiction, and I would be hurt to find out otherwise. I would no longer read that blog and then I would question everything I read, which would suck.
This reminds me of the guy who wrote a book and called it a memoir, went on Oprah talking about it, and then it all turned out to be fiction. It’s just wrong.
what a blilliant post!
well said.
i totally agree with you.
betty xx
I completely agree with you! I like to know that what I am reading on blogs is true. Sometimes I wonder………is this person stretching the truth, joking or just plan lying.
If I want to read fiction……I’ll just read a book! I would be very pissed!
Like you I wouild be very annoyed to find out a blog I was invested in was all a lie. Sometimes I do wonder about some blogs… at the end of the day you have to have trust. Without it you might as well never go on the ‘net!
I’m not dishonest- well not very. I will lie when the truth means getting into unnecessary trouble. Yets that about it. Why cant they be truthful and say its fiction? Like you, I would be annoyed. Its unmoral and unacceptable. However, you do need to have some trust when reading blogs. And, a ability to know what is opinion and what is fact.
Agreed.