When was the last time you went through a break up?
Are you going through one now? If so, I’m sorry because they SUCK!
I know that they are sometimes necessary or a long time coming, but they never seem to be easy. I’ve been through my fair share and I’ve found them difficult regardless of whether I was the one doing the breaking or being the one broken.
I’ve been through break ups with friends, jobs, and lovers, but yesterday I went through a different kind, one I’ve never experienced.
I was dumped by my doctor!!! My ob/gyn called and told me that she has been struggling with the decision and that as much as it pains her, she no longer feels she can meet all my needs. Another case of it’s not me, it’s her, but obviously it’s ME! After sending me to labor and delivery on Monday, she feels like she doesn’t have the equipment to properly diagnose any problems that may come up and that she will always be sending me to labor and delivery rather than taking a chance. She says my condition is serious and I need a specialist to tend to me for the rest of my pregnancy. She just doesn’t feel comfortable treating me anymore.
I get it! I totally get it and I appreciate her following her instincts, but I’m bummed because I have a relationship with her and I like her and she is a familiar face. Now, I have to start over with someone else that doesn’t “know” me or my history.
I actually cried over the break up. I don’t want my condition to be “serious”, I don’t want to switch doctors.
I know it’s for the best and she didn’t leave me high and dry (she set me up on a blind date with a perinatologist). She says we will still keep in touch via email and that she will do her best to be at the delivery and I’ll go back to her for postnatal care, but we all know those are just things you say to ease someone through a break up.
I think she should have left me with a prescription for a pint of ice cream to sooth the break up pains. Fortunately, I don’t need a prescription as it is sold over the counter, but now I won’t be able to claim it as a legitimate medical expense. Oh well. I’m off to self-medicate.
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You REALLY and SERIOUSLY cannot get a break! Man, that would have really upset me a lot. I hope that the new dr you find will be even BETTER!
Trust me that it feels even worse when it happens with your kiddo’s. I don’t know what to do with your child’s eye. Go see this eye doctor. That eye doctor doesn’t know what to do with the eye so we are sent off to see the orthopedic ophthalmologist. Break ups are always hard on everyone. You’ll work through.
As if you need another thing to stress over Mami. But like you said at least she was honest with you….you’re carrying some precious cargo there…
on a positive note * I hope the ice cream is delightful *
Mmmm… ice cream…
Sorry, I’m back now. I’m sorry your OB/GYN broke up with you. You should make sure you flaunt your new doctor and with any luck, it’ll be a hot latin guy or something.. oh I think I got carried away again…
awwww… i know exactly how that feels. when i was 8 months… my doctor went AWOL. of course i don’t suppose he would have been a good match for me because of his debilitating cocaine addiction… he checked himself into rehab and left me literally… on the table for my second to last visit. i bawled.
being an ob/gyn is such a hard calling. not only are they responsible for the mommy, but also for the baby. it’s a huge deal. i can understand her wanting the best for you and recognizing that she might be out of her league. you have enough time to develop a relationship… and really, it’s better that unknownbabi has the best shot in life.
i’m sure a pint/gallon of your favorite flavor will really help.
but i know exactly how you’re feeling. knowing God is in control always helps me… He’s got you!
That is so tough for you, but stay strong and it will all work out.
Damn! Dumped by the Doc. That’s gotta hurt. I just dumped my Doc of ten plus years, but dude didn’t have my back when it came time for me to have my first colonoscopy (yes, it’s a bad pun) and a three year delay ended up with me losing half my large intestine and doing 6 months of chemo. Never did he insist that a man of my age NEEDS a colonoscopy….especially when I have family history. I would rather he had dumped me back then and handed me over to someone who gave a shit. At least your ob/gyn is willing to admit a shortcoming. Not easy for physicians. This “dump” is a good thing…REALLY.
Wow, way to put it in perspective.
OMG, just as I hoped the rest of your pregnancy would pass without any more drama…. Hope you are enjoying your ice cream though!
Aww, that IS too bad, but thank goodness she knew better than to try to keep you to herself if she didn’t have all of the tools to help you.
What a bummer! But at least she knew her limitations and didn’t want to put you or your baby at risk! Hot fudge on that ice cream will help ease the breakup pain.
So sorry! That is tough. We really bond with our doctors and certainly this is a time you need one you can trust. But obviously she does have your best interest at heart.
YES! I was dumped by my OB when I had issues starting at 26 weeks. My new fancy schmancy perinatologist called me Crystal for the next 13 weeks when I was in and out of the hospital. My name isn’t Crystal.
Oh, and by the way ice cream is most definitely a legitimate expense. I list it on my tax forms right next to pedicures for my “bad feet” 😉
I’m so sorry for this added stress you must now endure. I hope your new doctor will be exactly what you need. Things tend to happen for a reason. And really, as disappointed as you feel about losing the doctor you like, she is due a great deal of respect for knowing her limitations and putting you and your baby’s health far above her ego. Do take her back when all is said and done. She sounds like she’s worth it.
I’m so sorry for this added stress you must now endure. I hope your new doctor will be exactly what you need. Things tend to happen for a reason. And really, as disappointed as you feel about losing the doctor you like, she is due a great deal of respect for knowing her limitations and putting you and your baby’s health far above her ego. Do take her back when all is said and done. She sounds like she’s worth it.
What a great thing your doctor is doing. Can you imagine her keeping you & then you having to go check in to labor & delivery at every appointment. That would suck! I hope that your new doctor is sooooo great! Enjoy your ice cream 🙂
So sorry to hear that you’ve got to go through this on top of everything else – but I’m betting that you will soon come to love the specialist too… hopefully your self-medication helps keep your fluid levels up and your spirits up too!
Aww mami! I’ve been meaning to comment on your L&D trip from the other day – That sounded hard enough! I’m just glad that all turned out OK. I think in the end you will be glad you and the babe are in more capable hands…And sure…your situation could be classified as serious..but being pregnant IS serious no matter what kind of pregnancy you are having. So i wouldn’t focus on that word and just focus on keeping calm and knowing that you are getting the best care for you, and the little one. (I am so jealous that you can drown your sorrows in my medication of choice BTW, i am one month from my due date so that also means one month from ice cream!)
I have to say that being able to have some sweets does makes things a bit easier.
At least she didn’t tell you she just wanted to be friends….
I think she should have suggested a menage a trois–you, her and the perinatologist. I think there’s room enough for everyone, don’t you??
Thank you for making me laugh!
I can’t really blame her for covering her ass, but it sucks for you. Hope you like the new doc!
Ok, the universe really does kind of owe you some good energy by now! I am glad that everything ended up okay but it seems like the last thing you need right now! I was totally smitten with my OB and I can’t imagine having to start over. I think it’s great though that she was so honest with you.
Take care girl. Eat up that ice cream (if you passed your glucose test? LOL)
Best,
Tina
I am at least glad that your doc has your best interest at heart. My OB/GYN moved. I HATE breaking in a new Gyn!
I love what DysfunctionalMom said about the doc not saying she just wanted to be friends. Serious or not, it can’t hurt to have someone with a little extra training on the job for now.
I’m so sorry that sucks. However it appears she has your best interests at heart. My daughter was referred to a specialist with her last two babies. As it turns out it was an excellent decision on the doctor’s part, my husband’s best friend. Both babies were born three months early and the doctors were equipped to handle it all. The kids are thriving! Josiah is 4 and Anna-Grace is two and they’re kicking butt.
You’re going to be getting the best possible care I’m sure, even though I know it has to be so difficult to get used to the “breakup.” Hugs to you!
I wonder how many male obs would have done the same thing? As much as it hurts, I think her decision to put your needs over her ego says so much about her as a doctor and a woman. I would trust that she will send you to the right specialist for your needs. Best wishes!
what’s your favorite flavor to self medicate on? pistachio or rum raisin top my cold drug list.
Mint chocolate chip or butter pecan.
Breakups suck even when they are for the best.
This is such a bummer. I experienced this with a couple of my pregnancy’s and had they been so so doctors it wouldn’t have been that big of deal but since they were great doctors and I liked them it really was hard. The thing is for two of them it meant seeing this doctor that was very good medically speaking but had zero bedside manner. Still, I knew they were dong it to be on the safe side so I had to suck it up. I am sorry this has happened but I am thankful you have doctor that is willing to be honest about her abilities and puts you before her own pride. I hope whoever you get, you will feel comfortable with them and even better really like them. ((((HUGS))))
I am so sorry to hear about the break up. I am glad she didn’t leave you high and dry without referring you to someone. Good luck to you. I hope that you’ll be able to transition easily to the next doctor. That really bites. And now I am off to eat some ice cream for you.
Maybe this happened for a reason… hopefully your “replacement” will be even better skilled and know all the right things to say. Go for that ice cream 🙂 sounds like a little will help.
I think your doctor did the right thing! It’s a pity more doctors/midwives didn’t admit it when they were in over their heads… instead of potentially putting a mother and baby at risk.
I hope you end up liking your new doctor!
Lucky you having such a caring doctor! Now you and the baby will be only getting the best.. although it is a bit of a bummer about the ice cream.
Sheesh Mami– I hope you self-medicated with a LARGE carton of ice cream.
Hang in there. I’m cheering you on.
xo jj
It makes perfect sense of course, but a good relationship with that kind of doctor makes all the difference. Hang in there. I’m sure she would only recommend someone amazing, but it’s still stressful I’m sure.
I am so sorry. But at least she called you rather than sent you a letter and she did arrange for you to see someone else. I am sure it was a tough decision for her, but maybe in the long run it will help having you with a specialist that has all the things in the office for testing, etc so you won’t always have the scare of being sent to labor and delivery
btty
Sad!!! I hate breakups (when I’m not the one doing the break up I mean) – but on the plus side, at least she recognizes that she isn’t the best for the situation. I have been to many doctors who would never ever admit that they don’t know everything, and I have had some try to treat me for things that were not in my best interest….
So this is a sad thing, but ultimately-a good thing.
You are going to be Just.Fine! The rest of the pregnancy should just be smooth sailing, right?
Very good writing reminding us there are so many different types of break ups. And yes, they hurt. In the case of your OB/GYN, I am sure it was a tough decision for her but she seems to have your best interests at heart. Intellectually you understand her position and you accept that your pregnancy requires extra care but emotionally you just want to have a normal pregnancy and relationship with your doctor. Bummer. What flavor did you buy in your self medication? You could come here to Nebraska to the 22F temp this morning, you can soak in the comfy tub and eat chocolate chip ice cream cones.
That stinks!!! I’m sorry you’re having this added stress under an already stressful situation. Big {Hugs} Mami! Praying for you!
I’m sorry and happy for you.
Sorry about the break up but happy your doctor is honest and wants your best. That’s a LOT today.
I’m in Helsinki – taking care of family business issues – so nothing ‘wrong’ with me! 🙂
It’s been snowing the whole morning – have to go out and shoot some pics to prove…
Oh, no! You poor dear! I can imagine that’s difficult. At least she was a good enough doctor to do the right thing for you. Bless you!
Tough break for you! I find though that my break ups, especially lovers, ended up being a gift at the end. I hope that happens for you in this case!
So sorry to hear this but I agree that it is the best for the baby. You have been through so much already. I know you don’t want to be is considered serious and I totally would have cried too. Keeping you in my prayers. I wish there was more I could do to calm your nerves. ((HUGS))
Thats a good thing she did for you. No reason she can’t consult. I’d ask. Have her refer the more difficult work and let her present results. Like an OB/GYN specialist.
You don’t go to your Family doctor for shoulder surgery…..
You havn’t lost anyone. You have only experianced someone expressing thier concern.
Thats a good thing she did for you. No reason she can’t consult. I’d ask. Have her refer the more difficult work and let her present results. Like an OB/GYN specialist.
You don’t go to your Family doctor for shoulder surgery…..
You havn’t lost anyone. You have only experianced someone expressing thier concern.
Thats a good thing she did for you. No reason she can’t consult. I’d ask. Have her refer the more difficult work and let her present results. Like an OB/GYN specialist.
You don’t go to your Family doctor for shoulder surgery…..
You havn’t lost anyone. You have only experianced someone expressing thier concern.
I sure hate it that ya can’t stick with the Doc your used to but it is for the best for you and baby. I know you already know that so grab a big spoon and dig in baby!!!
Know I’m prayin’ that you find the perfect fit in your pregnancy specialist. God bless ya and have a marvelous day!!!
Well that sucks. Kick a Mami when she’s down…damn! I’m sorry. Enjoy your ice cream. I prefer Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia.
She was honest and called to let you down gently. Sounds like she’s referred you to an expert who could help you. My father-in-law’s doctor is past the age of retirement, but he doesn’t know when to quit or refer his patients to someone who knows better. When he could not diagnose my father-in-law’s health problem, he just told him it’s old age and he’ll have to live with it. We got a second opinion and luckily caught his illness in-time.
Definitely upsetting to hear -especially when one is hormonal – LOL.
I give your doctor alot of credit for realizing she has limits – most of them think they are all that and a bag of chips. Kudos that she put your safety and your baby’s first.
She probably contacted the new doctor ahead of time to see if your pregnancy fell more into her speciality. It absolutely sucks that your pregnancy is dubbed as serious but maybe this doctor has the experience to treat your pregnancy optimally.
Good Luck!!!! Who knows maybe you will like her/him instantly 🙂
Sorry you have to see a new doctor. I know how difficult it is to find an ob/gyn you really like and trust. (It can be more difficult than finding a good hairdresser.) I hope the new dr. is wonderful.
Well, that sucks, but she did the right thing. Now, get on with that self-medicating. I recommend chocolate syrup.
I am so sorry. I can imagine this change is so hard when you want everything to be nice and normal.
I can see why this would be upsetting, but I think she did the right thing. You don’t want to be giving birth any sooner than you have to. If you need a specialist, then I’m impressed that she’s able to recognize this and to tell you. More doctors should check their egos at the door. Sounds like she’s a great doctor, so she’s probably got you set up with a great doctor as well. I think this will be what’s best for you and the baby. Hope you have cheered up some.
Hope your new doc it fantastic – it’s all about the little person;) I’m currently going through a tearful breakup with a friend and it sucks. There’s never anything good about saying goodbye…
Sending you hugs. I’ve been through a few break ups with friends and boy oh boy can they hurt.
It is usually I who fire my doctors, but your doctor did you a favor even though it may not seem like it now. Being chronically ill, I started off with a perinatologist and they are the better way to go.
I had a very scary delivery. (Not trying to scare you) but my whole labor was just two hours long. No one was ready for it. It was like out of “E.R.” I was nine centimeters dilated and the cord was wrapped around my baby’s neck. They lost his heartbeat. They could not do a C-section b/c he was too far down. My doctor had to use a vacuum and forceps to get him out ASAP. I had a third degree tear, but my son was just fine. Sometimes I wonder if the outcome would have been different if I had a less skilled doctor.
Trust me a perinatologist is the best way to go. I had a practice full of them and did not know who would deliver my baby. Some of them I only saw once, so no relationships were developed. It didn’t matter. I just thank God I had the doctor I had.