I had a baby about 2 months ago and I’ve been feeling pretty good about myself. I’ve lost a bunch of weight and I’ve started exercising regularly. I’m not where I’d like to be, but still I wasn’t feeling too shabby until my two year old served up a dose of reality.
I have to pump all the time because my newborn is one bad mother-sucker and needs help transferring the milk from my breast. You should also know that at the moment my breast are enormous, scary big. I am always wearing a bra because I don’t want to accidentally hurt anyone with my unfettered
beasts breasts. The only time my breasts are allowed to roam free is when I’m showering or pumping.
Anyway, I was pumping and Put Pie (my 2 year old) called out to me. I zipped up my loose sweatshirt without binding my milk makers and went to her room. When I got there, she looked a little perplexed and looked at Unknown Papi who was sitting next to her, then at me, pointed at my stomach and said, “Baby?!”
She was asking if I had another baby in there. Now I know my stomach isn’t flat, but come on! My husband started laughing, much to my dismay. I patted my belly, smoothed down my sweatshirt and said, “No mi’ja. No baby. See?” She smiled and said, “Oh, just chi chis!”
Can you believe that? Apparently, my boobies were hanging so low, she thought I was pregnant again. For crying our loud! And Unknown Papi was laughing his head off. Let’s see how funny he thinks it is when he’s not allowed anywhere near my ta tas.