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By Claudya

Funny San Francisco Latina Blogger

March 30, 2011 Claudya Martinez

A Dose of Reality

I had a baby about 2 months ago and I’ve been feeling pretty good about myself. I’ve lost a bunch of weight and I’ve started exercising regularly. I’m not where I’d like to be, but still I wasn’t feeling too shabby until my two year old served up a dose of reality.

I have to pump all the time because my newborn is one bad mother-sucker and needs help transferring the milk from my breast. You should also know that at the moment my breast are enormous, scary big. I am always wearing a bra because I don’t want to accidentally hurt anyone with my unfettered beasts breasts. The only time my breasts are allowed to roam free is when I’m showering or pumping.

Anyway, I was pumping and Put Pie (my 2 year old) called out to me. I zipped up my loose sweatshirt without binding my milk makers and went to her room. When I got there, she looked a little perplexed and looked at Unknown Papi who was sitting next to her, then at me, pointed at my stomach and said, “Baby?!”

She was asking if I had another baby in there. Now I know my stomach isn’t flat, but come on! My husband started laughing, much to my dismay. I patted my belly, smoothed down my sweatshirt and said, “No mi’ja. No baby. See?” She smiled and said, “Oh, just chi chis!”

Can you believe that? Apparently, my boobies were hanging so low, she thought I was pregnant again. For crying our loud! And Unknown Papi was laughing his head off. Let’s see how funny he thinks it is when he’s not allowed anywhere near my ta tas.

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Filed Under: Humor, Put Pie

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Comments

  1. Jeanie says

    March 30, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    Uh oh, it sounds like Papi will be finding out there is a price to pay for for that big belly laugh he enjoyed (no pun intended).

    Reply
  2. Anonymous says

    March 30, 2011 at 1:22 pm

    Hehe, that’s a little funny, but I’m guessing Papi will think twice about laughing at the girls next time. 😉

    Reply
  3. blankGeorgina99 says

    March 30, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    Lol! Kids say the funniest things! – G

    Reply
  4. blankLisa @ Advent's Adventures says

    March 30, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    Stupid Papi! Let him have the next baby! LOL!!! I know you look amazing!!!! Same thing happened to me. . . 🙂

    Reply
  5. blankNaturalmente Mamá says

    March 30, 2011 at 2:49 pm

    You are hilarious!!!

    Reply
  6. blankAnonymous says

    March 30, 2011 at 3:02 pm

    One thing I’ve learned is to never ask anybody if she’s pregnant!

    Reply
    • blankClassic NYer says

      March 30, 2011 at 3:58 pm

      Oh, little Put Pie will figure it out one day… Hopefully, so will Papi…

      Reply
  7. blanktoi says

    March 30, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    Sweet Put Pie :), Unknown Papi why did you laugh? LOL, he is going to learn the hard way 🙂

    Reply
  8. blankEva Gallant says

    March 30, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    Oh, what a day breaker! Hugs!

    Reply
  9. blankDwmatty says

    March 30, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    Um, I’m not going anywhere near this one. LOL

    Reply
  10. blankSamiJoe says

    March 30, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    Bwahahaha! Okay i laughed. I love how you make me laugh.

    Reply
  11. blankMiMi says

    March 30, 2011 at 4:14 pm

    Hahahaha!!!! Chi chis! Love it.

    Reply
  12. blankMonkey Man says

    March 30, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    Great story. File this one in the “Out of the mouths of babes” category.

    Reply
  13. blankmub says

    March 30, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    Ok, I have to admit… if I’d been in UP’s shoes, I would’ve reacted the same way as he did. On the other hand if I’d been in your shoes I think I wouldn’t have been so amused *L*

    Reply
  14. blankHilary says

    March 30, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    Ha.. now there’s something I’ll never experience. I’m lucky if I can even find them. Life is so amusing… and so are you. 🙂

    Reply
  15. blankAnonymous says

    March 30, 2011 at 10:00 pm

    Hahaha who got the last laugh now Papi! I remember my nursing days….I hubby always had this kid in the candy store look about him…unfortunately the candy store was closed!

    Reply
  16. blankKaylen says

    March 30, 2011 at 11:18 pm

    HILARIOUS!!! Kids are great for self-esteem, right??
    When I worked in Korea, I was talked about all the time by little korean kids. I was told it’s a cultural thing-if you represent an animal, it’s not an insult to tell you. Hmmm….wrong. And mean. Whatever.

    Reply
  17. blankJoanna Jenkins says

    March 30, 2011 at 11:55 pm

    I think if women do the birthing part, men should get to do the nursing part. Wouldn’t THEY just love to have great big breasts. Ha!

    This is a very funny story, Mami.

    xo jj

    Reply
  18. blankcarma says

    March 30, 2011 at 6:11 pm

    wow – can’t say I’ve ever had my boobs mistaken for my stomach 😉 you go girl with those huge knockers 😀

    Reply
  19. blankCassie Rodriguez says

    March 31, 2011 at 2:21 am

    Isn’t that just like a kid. The other day, one of mine made a comment about my mustache. Don’t worry, I had that sucker waxed the next day.

    Reply
  20. blankMarlaahansen says

    March 31, 2011 at 2:44 am

    Oh heavens! Bob and I are sitting here laughing at this post. We remember those days oh so well. Love it!

    Reply
  21. blankPadmini Natarajan says

    March 31, 2011 at 3:46 am

    My daughter-in-law went through this twice..last time two years ago!! She really had a tough time weaning the second one. I remember having to shop for the special bra’s for her for the first one and in India we did not have much choice then five years ago. Finally found it in Mothercare!!

    Love your blogs–real slice of life with humour.

    Reply
  22. blankbetty says

    March 31, 2011 at 5:03 am

    I know this shouldn’t be funny, but it did give me a Wednesday evening laugh. perhaps plastic surgery with a little nip and tuck and augment there is in order down the line??

    betty

    Reply
  23. blankTtownsend says

    March 31, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    That. Is. Awesome.

    Reply
  24. blankTettelestai says

    March 31, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    that goober!! so not funny, nursing ‘ladies’ are so heavy!!!

    Reply
  25. blankAnonymous says

    March 31, 2011 at 5:27 pm

    I’m still working on that baby fat!!! This is hysterical, you have me in stitches today!

    Reply
  26. blankPaula (The Sea Green Journal) says

    March 31, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    Hahaha. I love this post (it is very funny) and I love the words you use (ex.mi’ja,etc.). In spite of it, I believe that Put Pie finds her mom beautiful 🙂

    P.S. It’s been two months already?! Wow, it just seemed like yesterday when I read your gave birth post. Time flies and good job on the exercise. I’ve been getting back to that myself 🙂

    Reply
  27. blanklisleman says

    March 31, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    I’m speechless but my imagination is not.
    Kids are great for telling it like it is.

    Reply
  28. blankgayle says

    April 1, 2011 at 1:39 am

    Little kids say the funniest things!!

    Reply
  29. blankMyya says

    April 2, 2011 at 8:14 am

    Ohhh I’ve had the exact same thing happen with my girls too. Mine are huge anyways, but with milk that could probably feed triplets… Lord help me! Unknown Papi definitely needs a time out from the ta tas for laughing!!!

    Reply
  30. blankAnonymous says

    April 2, 2011 at 6:46 pm

    Oh the joys of having big boobs.

    Reply

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blankWelcome, I am your host Claudya Martinez. I'm a bilingual Latina raising multicultural kids in San Francisco. WARNING: I have a sense of humor that I'm not afraid to use. Hang out, stay un poco and let's get to know each other. Read More…

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