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By Claudya

Funny San Francisco Latina Blogger

January 11, 2013 Claudya Martinez

A Mother’s Train of Thought (Fragmented Fridays)

There was this look and tone and way of holding her body that my mother used to get at times. Like it was all too much. Like there was just too much going on. I’m not sure what I used to think when I would see her like that, but I’d know that my brother and I were dangerously close to pushing her over the edge.

Now I understand what it’s like. I get why she looked like that and sometimes my kids make me look like that too. Some days go smoothly, some days ebb and flow, and other days make me feel like I’m getting torn apart.

Walking home from preschool with one crying and the other one repeating over and over…

I want park! I want park! I want park! I want park!

I don’t say it, but I think…I want a drink, but you don’t hear me saying it over and over!

I want park! I want park! I want park! I want park!

I don’t say it, but I think…I want you to BE QUIET!

I want park! I want park! I want park! I want park!

I don’t say it, but I think…For f@$! sake, how many times are you going to say it?

I want park! I want park! I want park! I want park!

I don’t say it, but I think…There is no point in arguing with you because I already said no and maybe you’ll just wear yourself out and let it go eventually.

I want park! I want park! I want park! I want park!

Finally, I say…If you don’t stop, when we get home, you’re going to get a time out!

NOOOOOOO!!!!! I DON’T WANT A TIME OUT!!!I want park! I want park! I want park! I want park!

When we get home there is a time out and more screaming and then quiet and then….

Mama? Mama…Mama! I’m sorry. I’m ready to be sorry.

Later the littlest one starts screaming and clinging and claiming to be starving, but unwilling to eat anything and I feel myself turn into my mother. I feel like it is all too much. Like there is too much going on. Like I am being torn apart.

Fortunately, that is not every day. Fortunately, I know I’m fortunate.

And now your Friday Fortune Cookie
(don’t forget to add “in bed” at the end, if you are so inclined):

Sometimes it’s best not to say exactly what you are thinking.


Mommy's Idea
Hosted by Mrs. 4444

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Filed Under: Fragmented Fridays, Parenting

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Comments

  1. blankKeetha says

    January 11, 2013 at 6:18 am

    Parenting is absolutely the hardest job on the planet.

    Reply
  2. blankLL Cool Joe says

    January 11, 2013 at 6:41 am

    And it doesn’t get any easier. 😀

    Reply
  3. blankJeanie says

    January 11, 2013 at 6:50 am

    Your girls will probably learn to recognize the look and tone and way you hold your body that lets them know it is time to back off a little. There are reasons that some people call the preschool years the”first adolescence”…..they can be very tough on parents at times.

    Reply
  4. blankRebecca says

    January 11, 2013 at 7:41 am

    That’s the great thing about parenting.  They eventually move on to another thing…..sometimes it’s more tolerable.  

    Reply
  5. blankJeanne says

    January 11, 2013 at 8:23 am

    Great post.  I”ve been there so, SO many times…

    Reply
  6. blanklisleman says

    January 11, 2013 at 9:45 am

    Good thing you didn’t start repeating “I need a drink” over and over while walking down the street.  You would have ended up on youtube.

    Reply
    • blankunknownmami says

      January 11, 2013 at 9:48 am

      Dang, I missed a golden opportunity to go viral!

      Reply
  7. blankTami says

    January 11, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    I want wine, I want wine, I want wine, I want wine…. dang it, I thought for sure you’d cave in…  LOL

    Reply
  8. blankEva Gallant says

    January 11, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    Hang in there, girl.  It gets easier, in about 15 years!

    Reply
  9. blankBee says

    January 11, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    I love the honesty of this post. I don’t know what it’s like to have kids, but I know it must be difficult at times.

    Reply
  10. blankNancygraycejinks says

    January 11, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    And my mother suffered through 6 of us!  I think you were very patient because I may have lost it at some point during I want park!  🙂

    Reply
  11. blankProfwaynewsmith says

    January 11, 2013 at 3:49 pm

    Testing patience of their parents are in kids contracts dont you know.

    Reply
  12. blankLaurie Matherne says

    January 11, 2013 at 6:11 pm

    Good post, Unknown Mami! I think it will get easier, as I see it with friends who have preschoolers. Then adolescence hits! 

    Reply
  13. blankMyya Says... says

    January 11, 2013 at 8:12 pm

    Ohhhh how I know EXACTLY how you are feeling!  Isn’t it a REALLY good thing that the good days allow you to get through those other days without really losing it. 

    I do have to say though that I am impressed with the “I do not say it” part… yeah, I am not so great at that sometimes… most of the time.  Sigh. 

    Reply
  14. blankCiCi W says

    January 12, 2013 at 7:39 am

    I think there should be at least four parents on hand at all times. 

    Reply
    • blankunknownmami says

      January 12, 2013 at 8:38 am

      I don’t know what is going on with my eldest lately, but she is intent on pushing my buttons. She’s at it again today. Hoping it’s a stage that will pass quickly.

      Reply
  15. blanktettelestai says

    January 12, 2013 at 9:11 am

    Oh, I understand these days!! I read this last night on my ipad but I couldn’t leave a comment for some reason 🙁

    Reply
  16. blankBoom Boom Larew says

    January 12, 2013 at 5:11 pm

    This post makes me ask myself, once again, “Why do I work with pre-schoolers?”  You’d think I would have learned my lesson long ago… but, then, I’m a glutton for punishment.  Which is why I enjoy my wine in the evenings!  (But truth be told… the little rascals crack me up!  That’s the real reason I keep doing it!)

    Reply
  17. blankHeather Smith says

    January 12, 2013 at 6:37 pm

    Isn’t it wonderful that they know their own minds as young as they do… sometimes 😉

    Reply
  18. blankVM Sehy Photography says

    January 13, 2013 at 4:39 pm

    Now you know why I stopped at one child.  I’m impressed that you handle it so well.  I’d probably pull my hair out. 

    Reply
    • blankunknownmami says

      January 13, 2013 at 4:45 pm

      Oh, I have my ugly moments. I don’t usually feel like writing about those.

      Reply
  19. blankdoreenmcgettigan says

    January 13, 2013 at 6:56 pm

    You are such a good Mama. Great post! Great fortune too..

    Reply
  20. blankdeborahpucci says

    January 16, 2013 at 7:51 am

    Thanks for your honesty, I can so relate to your thoughts!

    Reply
  21. blankMrs4444 says

    January 20, 2013 at 5:02 pm

    Every mom has had those days. Hopefully, for your sake, they are few and far between. 🙂

    Reply

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blankWelcome, I am your host Claudya Martinez. I'm a bilingual Latina raising multicultural kids in San Francisco. WARNING: I have a sense of humor that I'm not afraid to use. Hang out, stay un poco and let's get to know each other. Read More…

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