When my husband and I argue (don’t act shocked, we’re only human) it’s usually because we don’t understand each other. I mean we’re speaking the same language, but we are just not hearing each other. Do you know what I mean? He’s saying one thing and I’m hearing something totally different or vice versa.
When my mother hurts my feelings, it’s because I’m reading between the lines. She’s saying one thing, but I’m hearing what she’s not saying.
Maybe I need to hire a translator because it appears that I have a hard time understanding what is said to me.
I seem to think that everyone is as wrapped up in me as I am. Obviously every little thing that is said or implied is a dig and a way to criticize all important me.
Maybe, just maybe, people mean what they say at least some of the time. Maybe they are not all out to get me, at least not all of the time.
And now your Friday Fortune Cookie (don’t forget to add “in bed” at the end, if you are so inclined):
Give yourself a break. No one is perfect.
Hosted by Mrs. 4444
Thank you. I needed this.
Hang in there!
Thank goodness someone finally brought up that couples fight. When we have an argument we wonder how on earth we got to that place. We love each other to death but something sparks anger and we can’t resolve it instantly so we just hug awhile and talk through the disagreement later.
We go to that place too; I know you meant such and such when you said that. To which the response is usually no, I meant it just as I said it. We are each speaking plain English but we are receiving it in a foreign language.
It is really difficult to let go of preconceptions and just hear what is being said without the interpretations tacked on to make things seem “out to get you”.
When I was in high school ( in the early sixties) we played a game where we would say song titles and then add “between the sheets” after them. I’m reminded of that every time I reach the end of one of your blog posts.
Do your mother and my mother know each other?
What I’m hearing you say is…..
Wise words, UM.
Nice post. I totally get this. I do that a lot with my husband, too. Where I hear something different than he means. We get along best if I don’t take every little comment as some sort of criticism.
It’s easier to criticize than encourage. You describe a common problem in relationships. We are not always as nice as we should be.
Why do we do this? I’m relieved to know that I’m not the only one–but I’d still like to know WHY? I’m so glad you shared UM-makes me feel normal and reminds me not to get so wrapped up in myself. 🙂
I have a really bad habit of hearing what is NOT being said. I am constantly reading into stuff that has no business being read into. Why? Who knows. I’m insecure and weird. 🙂 I know my limitations! LOL. We need a support group.
It is very easy to hear something different then what someone is actually saying. I do that all the time with my husband!
We’re you talking about ME misinterpreting things? ;). I think we are all a little bit guilty of making everything about us. Have a great weekend!
Oh, I do this, too!
don’t know if you had time to make the FF rounds but this post was one post earlier and I curious if Latinas or Latinos (never can remember which one to use) find it funny.
http://afcsoac.blogspot.com/2011/10/digital-impact.html
thanks
Latinas are women. Latinos are men. If it is mixed company, you use the male form. I’ll check out your post, but I can only tell you how I feel about it. I don’t speak for all Latinos.
OK, been having trouble leaving you comments AGAIN… so this is just to say I prefer the brown paper bag to that scary other thing on your face!!!
You may be right!
One of the things I really like about you is how you express these things. Kinda funny how most of us enjoy reading about what we feel, eh? You’ve put it perfectly.
One big hug to you.
i totally understand that sensation. i like to dissect what is said to me and go overboard. one of the books that helped hubby and i communicate was ‘men are from mars, women are from venus’. it was hilarious but so true. it was a challenge to learn to speak ‘man’. 😉
–Mami,
Mr. Liverpool just shakes his head at me, cuz he has no idea what I’m talking about half the time.
He drives me INSANE! I need to call a girlfriend if I want to be understood sometimes, ya know?
Yes. Men ARE from Mars…
Kim
http://myinnerchick.com
There should be a translator dictionary for interpersonal relationships.
Life’s too short to take too much personally…When in doubt, I say ignore 🙂
Sometimes it helps to repeat back what you think the person said for clarity. I’m sure they aren’t all out to get you.
Stopping by from FF: http://zemeks.blogspot.com/2011/10/5-things-we-learned-this-week-40-of.html