I am a brilliant typo-ist!!! I was leaving a comment on a blog and meant to write “perspective”, but my fingers typed “peerspective”. Tell me that shouldn’t be a word?! Come on, you know it should! Sometimes the outlook of our peers, their peerspective, affects our perspective. It’s definitely worthy of being considered as an entry to the dictionary.
This part of the post will be serious and maybe merits a post of its own, but it’s on my mind right now so it’s going to make an appearance here.
I am 29 weeks pregnant. It has not been a smooth pregnancy simply because I am constantly worried about the well-being of the baby. I feel fine physically, but the baby has had issues with kidney development and low amniotic fluid. I went in for my latest check up. This is the longest I’ve gone without seeing a doctor since I was 17 weeks and the problems were first diagnosed. It’s good not to be going in so often, it means things are trending toward better.
The result of this check up is a continued trend toward better. The amniotic fluid is higher than it has ever been. The baby’s left kidney and bladder seem to be doing a great job. The baby’s right kidney is pelvic and “disorganized” and will have to be assessed after birth. The baby seems to be growing and doing just fine.
So why do I feel so unbelievably deflated when things really seem to be going well? Because even at this point the specialist says to me, “I am cautiously optimistic about the baby’s survival”. He says it like it’s a good thing, but to me it sounds just awful. Seriously, “cautiously optimistic about…survival” is not what I want to hear.
The doctor wanted to know if I would like to speak to an urologist about what will happen after the baby is born. I said no. At this point, we don’t know exactly what is going on with the right kidney and I just don’t need to discuss options that may or may not happen. I know how I am and I will manage to focus on the worst case scenarios. I’d rather wait until the baby is born and then go from there.
Every time I go to the doctor, I am so drained that I come home and pass out. I would sleep away the rest of the day if I could.
And now your Friday Fortune Cookie (don’t forget to add “in bed” at the end, if you are so inclined):
A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition.
I’m with you, I think peerspective should be a word. If we use it a lot, who knows, one day it might be
I continue to pray for you and your baby; I think it is good news you are getting; I wonder how much of “covering one’s behind” the doctor is saying, but I’m praying for a healthy baby…….l
betty
(and I can’t believe I might be the first comment??)
LOVE the fortune cookie, but PEERspective is even better!!
Ooohhh….and I’m jealous of your Preferred Blogger status button 🙂
As for the doctors, I like your idea to just wait and see; it’s not going to change anything for the better for you to know all the details right now. You new little one deserves some peace in there 🙂 Love to you…
for what it’s worth I agree with your position on the baby info. Medicine still has lots of guessing and they are always being so eager to over test I think you are right.
If the Alaskan Moma bear/badger/frontier woman can make up words you should get to also.
I hope my made up words are better than hers.
well you are better so don’t compare yourself to her.
Are you two talking about our next stellar president, Ms. Sarah?
Ha… Love the fortune cookie 🙂
As a mother and friend, I hope everything goes well with the baby. Doctors don’t often have good bedside manners… Only choose to place yourself around very positive people at this time in your life. There is no room for a negative enviroment right now.
Enjoy a relaxing weekend!
Okay. As much as it sucks, you want to have the doctor who is cautiously optimistic. It’s his job to be cautious and to be on the lookout for all the possible bad stuff. Imagine if your doctor was blindly optimistic. You might feel better after the appointment, but it would be terrible in the long run. I’m not trying to saying your feelings aren’t valid, because they totally are. I’m just offering another perspective. A peerspective, you might say. 🙂
Peerhaps you are right.
I hope you and your beautiful family are enjoying the holiday season.
Doctors tend to talk in worsts. Even my beloved Mayo Clinic where my husband had his transplant would sneak in those “he has a few weeks to live, unless…” Well, “unless” came and we’re celebrating 5 years post-transplant. They just can’t tell you it’s going to be OK because someone was sued because they said something that was too optimistic, so now it’s all been boiled down to the worst case scenario. (well, that’s my opinion)
It’s our job as friends, blogger-friends, readers and believers to think of the best case scenario and will that to you folks. I will that to you every day.
Peerspective-I LOVE IT!
I think waiting to deal with urologists is a good idea. There is no sense stressing yourself further about things that you can’t control right now.
I think you should submit “peerspective” to urbandictionary.com!
My friend Helene at this blog: http://2setsoftwins-helene.blogspot.com/ just wrote a post all about the phrase “cautiously optimistic”, and how much she hates it.
I really hope things continue to do well with Unknown Babi!
so glad things are trending better, and sorry you have a dr with the office-side manner of a bull in a china shop! keep bakin’ mami!
Good for you – for turning down an information overload. I’m with you on that. That’s one of the best things about really knowing yourself. Knowing when enough information is enough.
Doctor speak=cover your ass. I have worked with them for 30 years. NONE of them ever speak in certainties. I think they want you prepped for bad stuff so you can hero worship them when all is fine in the end. My “perfect” 20 year old was one of those “we hope everything will be okay” babies. He is brilliant, gorgeous, and successful.
I wish you could truly enjoy this pregnancy. I look back and think of all the worry I had for months….for what turned out to be nothing.
Oh….and peerspective….BRILLIANT. I will sign a petition to get it into any dictionary:)
i am totally on board with putting peerspective in the dictionary. we really do consider peerspective when forming our perspective, especially women.
i would like to offer to pray for you and your baby. please let me. i love children, we have many here, and my pregnancies have (mostly) been great, i just have a hard time getting the baby out. like you, i also will focus on adapting to the worst case so there are no ‘surprises’ but i also agree with you that this may be the best time to focus on some positive aspects of this child’s life. if we lived close i would drag you over for good conversation and some positive thinking. i pray everything gets organized and this baby becomes the handful you are hoping he/she will be!!!
Of course, I will accept your kind prayers. Thank you.
After the last year of doctors, medicine and whatnot, I’ve decided that dealing with doctors is sometimes a crap shoot. Do what you feel is best.
Nice fortune cookie. 🙂
“Cautiously optimistic about survival” is not what I would want to hear either. That doesn’t sound too good to me. Hope everything turns out okay for you and try to focus on the good news that things seem to be turning around in a positive direction. I think doctors are always on the cautious side just to protect themselves if something should go wrong. (Just my opinion.) I’m with you about dealing with stuff on an as needed basis.
Stopping by from FF.
“The amniotic fluid is higher than it has ever been. The baby’s left kidney and bladder seem to be doing a great job.” …..that all sounds very good to me. I’d say the “peerspective” from your comments is that you have made the right decision to not add extra stress by talking to a urologist right now.
I could see how the pregnancy would have you stressed. Just Breathe. I am praying for your family and lil’ baby.
Good fortune cookie! I think of you often, though we’ve never met. I’m not very religious, but I have been praying that all goes well for you and that little baby. hugs.
I personally love your new word ‘peerspective’!
I’m so happy things seem to be goin’ well with the baby. I have prayed for God to heal your sweet little bundle…completely and will continue to do so. I’m hangin’ onto a miracle for ya. Don’t ya just love it when something just blows the doctors outta the water? :o)
God bless and have a most stupendous weekend sweetie!!!
Those who can think of just the one way to spell a world lack imagination! All the best with the pregnancy!
I think this was one of the best Friday Fragments i’ve read!
I totally agree on Peerspective- it is a great word! If you use it enough you may Urban Dictionize it-tee hee!
And for sure…don’t worry about ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’ right now. Hang in there-sounds like you and bubba are doing great!
Adore the fortune.
love the fortune cookie quote.
Happy Friday!
Peerspective should definitely be a word!
Hang in there, Mami. You’ve got a whole bunch of people praying and hoping for you.
Peerspective, love it. totally makes sense so I’m adopting it!
Doctors bother me in general. Please keep us posted. And yes, peerspective should be a word. 🙂
I am so glad that the baby’s development continues to improve. I cannot imagine how draining it is to go to each appointment though!
I sure have the best of hopes for your pregnancy and the delivery of your child. As to the fortune cookie – Ouch!
I’m so sorry you’re having problems with the pregnancy- I know that can be stressful.
LOL- love the fortune….says a lot about men 🙂
I agree with you it’s pointless to discuss now and do the what if’s! I’m sorry it’s so exhausting and I hope and pray your lil baby girl will continue to progress! ((hugs)) to you and have a relaxing restful weekend!
Peerspective is an excellent word. I’m going to start using it at all the parties I go to for the intellectually snobbish—you know, dusty old college English professors.
If I believed everything the doctors have told me about my lungs I would have been dead five years ago. Yes, they are cautious because (1) medicine isn’t always as advanced as we would like to believe, (2) our bodies sometimes do amazing and unexpected things, and (3) sue-itis is always in the back of their minds if they are too specific.
Cautiously optimistic, I swear, I had perfect pregnancies and the dr’s used that lingo. It’s like they can’t say anything that might lead us to believe it will all be good because they don’t want to get sued or something.
Love peerspective! Love the fortune cookie, too!
I will say extra prayers for you and baby. This year has been hard on me too, so I am hoping and praying that next year is better for everyone!
Oh yes peerspective should be a word…love it…I am still praying for you and the baby…great fortune cookie,,,”in bed”….lol….happy weekend to you and your family. XX
I just want you to know that I pray for you and the baby all the time. I know you will be able to handle whatever is thrown at you with grace and strength. With love, Becky
Personally, I think the remark “I am cautiously optimistic about the baby’s survival” is negative and uncalled for. No wonder you are wiped out after each doctor visit.
I am so mad at your doctors right now. Do they not know how much of an emotional wreck a preggo mama can be, let alone one that is already worrying about her wee one. I wanna punch him in the face! Good for you for hanging on the positive. This is awesome fantastic super good news that the kidney & bladder are doing well & that the amnio fliud is up. Yay, let’s party to that!!! 🙂
Peerspective is a totally awesome word. I think it should be added to the dictionary! In fact, I am going to use it at work during the next staff meeting. Everyone will be so imPEERessed. (Ok, I’ll just leave the word inventing to you. You are better at it than me.)
Doctors can be a drag sometimes. They have to cover everything, but sometimes they forget that they are talking to someone who has real emotions and fears and hopes. I’m keeping you and baby and your husband too, in my thoughts and prayers. – G
That’s got to be scary and it’s got to be hard to come down from all that monitoring…even when it’s a good thing.
If Sarah Palin can make up a word, so can you. And I continue to send good thoughts your way for the baby. That has to be so hard!! {{{{Mami}}}}
I love PEERSPECTIVE esp. since I seem to be worried about PEERSPECTIVE all the time instead of my MESPECTIVE.
I am keeping my fingers crossed and thinking of you. And the “IN BED” addition is brilliant. Maybe it is because the added words that led my mind astray, oh who am I kidding I am a perv on my own… the fortune cookie, is it just me?! looks like a smooth bottom… 😉
Hi hon, I’m really, truly sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. I think I too would have chosen to not discuss what may or may not happen, it seems very wise to me. You must be counting the hours, never mind the days and weeks. All my very best wishes. xx
Since everything is sounding better I tend to agree with you on waiting until after your baby is born. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I do like that new word!
I just looked through some of the funniest couple pictures I’ve seen in a long time. A friend posted the link on FB.
I think when the time comes and maybe you want to move things along looking at these pictures will probably break your water.
Oh almost forgot here’s the link
http://pregnantchicken.squarespace.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2010/12/10/awkward-pregnancy-photos.html
I’m so glad to hear that the appointment had good news for you, but I get it. My friend had her twins last week, and she was so worried the whole time because EVERYthing bad seemed to happen to her during pregnancy, and it was hard to enjoy it. Fortunately, she’s able to focus on the now and the enjoyment of it, even with one of the twins still in NICU (but doing fine). Good luck – and yay to 29 weeks!
Amiga, I told you before that I got bad news about my third after an ultrasound about halfway through and nearly flipped the lid. I got a second opinion by a neighbour who I hadn’t even known was a gynaecologist and, without the benefit of an ultrasound machine, was informed that my baby was fine. And d’you know something? She was. Fine! You should see the chirpy soon-to-be-ten year old she is now.
Sometimes, technology sucks. I pray full protection on your baby and send you healing thoughts. Trust in love and the processes of life. God is great. He is much bigger than any of those doctors. They’re not God, just humans and some of them are pretty damn stupid.
What a challenge – and such a heart challenge! One of the things that comforted me with my last two pregnancies which were an event in themselves was the scripture about where God said to speak and the moutain would be moved. When that fear would try to push in, I would pray, “Thank you God for this whole healthy baby” – and we had miracles happen! I’ll be praying for you and thanking God for your whole healthy baby!
hugs, mami.
You, my dear, are a wise woman. We never need to go looking for trouble because each day has enough trouble of it’s own.
As a native Californian, I can honestly say, those doctors words are typical of cover your butt in case of lawsuit.
You’ve been quoted!
http://qoddessquotesblogs.blogspot.com/2010/12/quotes-december-17-2010.html
Oh, sweetie. I’m so sorry. Those kind of comments by doctors would take the wind out of my sails too. “Cautiously optomistic about survival” is not extremely reassuring, but I agree with some of the other commenter who said that doctors are always trying to cover themselves legally and don’t want to say anything that could get them into trouble. I am praying for your sweet baby and for you. I hope that things continue to look positive in the ultrasounds and that any complications with the other kidney are mild and can be easily handled after a successful birth. I hate that you have to go through this horrible emotional roller coaster. I can only imagine how incredibly exhausting it must be. Please know we are all out here loving you and rooting for your baby girl. Lots of love. Naomi