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By Claudya

Funny San Francisco Latina Blogger

November 11, 2009 Claudya Martinez

I Answered the Phone and Heard Something Naughty

telephone

The phone rang, no biggie. I hardly ever pick up the phone. Seriously, I am not a slave to the phone. If everyone who is nearest and dearest to me is accounted for then I will pick up the phone if it is convenient and if not, I’ll just call the person back.

Well, this time everyone was accounted for, but I wasn’t really busy and I was sitting next to the phone so I picked it up. The voice on the other end was immediately recognizable as my friend Bob*. Well, obviously Bob was not expecting me to pick up the phone because he was having a conversation with his wife, Bella, while he presumably waited the 5 rings for my machine to pick up.

I would have said hello, but when I put the phone to my ear I could hear that he was talking and this is what I heard:

…I guess so…well, if Cesar takes a nap soon we should make love…

Apparently, that was greeted with an approving nod of some sort.

 …great…

Then my friend realizes that he has not heard the sound of the phone ringing for awhile and that the machine has not picked up.

…uh…Hello?

I respond:

…Yeah, good luck with that nap. Hope it works out for ya.

He says,

Oh you heard that? (I hear his wife make some mortified noise in the background).

I can almost hear him blush,

Well, you know how it is when you have kids. You have to plan these things out.

Laughing hysterically, I say,

You might not want to plan THAT when you are calling other people.

I never did find out if Cesar took that nap.

*all names have been changed to protect the shameless.

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Comments

  1. Tracie says

    November 12, 2009 at 3:36 am

    Hahahaha! At least he was planning it with his wife and not his mistress.

    Reply
  2. blankEva Gallant says

    November 12, 2009 at 4:19 am

    Too funny!

    Reply
  3. blankAlicia says

    November 12, 2009 at 4:23 am

    That is hilarious!! That is going to be the joke of the year now!

    Reply
  4. blankfrugalmomknowsbest says

    November 12, 2009 at 4:25 am

    This is hilarious. Apparently he was too preoccupied to notice the ringing had stopped

    Reply
  5. blankleethehotflashqueen says

    November 12, 2009 at 5:20 am

    LOL! That's a great story!!

    Reply
  6. blankDysfunctionalMom says

    November 12, 2009 at 5:31 am

    OMG, I would be SO embarassed! That sounds like something I would do.

    Reply
  7. blankCrystal says

    November 12, 2009 at 6:11 am

    Holy cannoli's that's funny! 🙂

    Reply
  8. blankAngelCel says

    November 12, 2009 at 6:19 am

    Hehee..now *that* is embarrassing! 🙂

    Reply
  9. blankmrs.notouching says

    November 12, 2009 at 7:17 am

    Haha! Yet another proof that men cannot multitask…

    Reply
  10. blankfrau says

    November 12, 2009 at 7:51 am

    OMG that is so funny and I love that you said something!He will probably avoid you for awhile.

    Reply
  11. blankNessa says

    November 12, 2009 at 10:53 am

    I hope things worked out for them.

    Thursday Thirteen – Me & Music

    Reply
  12. blankyesthatislovely says

    November 12, 2009 at 11:00 am

    LOL, that's too funny. At least they were taking to time to be intimate with each other?

    Reply
  13. blankBetty5 says

    November 12, 2009 at 11:40 am

    ROTFL!! hahaha, that is so funny!

    Reply
  14. blankcinner says

    November 12, 2009 at 9:10 am

    That is really funny….just what you needed to know, not. Hilarious, I do agree with kys, at least he was planning with his wife!

    Reply
  15. blankck says

    November 12, 2009 at 1:30 pm

    That is hilarious! You probably don't have to worry about him calling you again for awhile…

    Reply
  16. blankKimberly says

    November 12, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    Bwaa Haaa Haaa!
    That is fabulous. I bet they were mortified, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do right?

    Reply
  17. blankbrainella says

    November 12, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    Dang. Just when you think you can make things happen, Mami catches you! 🙂

    Reply
  18. blankThe K Family says

    November 12, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    LOL. Here is my outlook on the phone, and tell me if you agree with me on this…

    The phone is for me to get ahold of you. Not for you to get ahold of me.

    🙂

    Reply
  19. blankSophia's Mom says

    November 12, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    LOL! True that these things need to be planned out sometimes but not while waiting for the machine 🙂
    For their sake, I hope cesar did take a nap!

    the worst is when you think the kid went down for a nap and they wake up 20 minutes later when you are already getting your groove on.

    http://www.thewannabewahm.com

    Reply
  20. blankstevenanthony says

    November 12, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    oh THAT WOULD HAVE MADE SUCH A GREAT FRIDAY PHONE CALL LOL, LOVE IT;)

    Reply
  21. blankloripeterson says

    November 12, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    He really said that? Wow. If Hubs said “we should make love” I would die laughing at him.

    Reply
  22. blankunknownmami says

    November 12, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    I didn't even think about that! Yes, it would be a great Friday phone call.

    Reply
  23. blankMeeko Fabulous says

    November 12, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    Oh no! LOL! I've heard some interesting stuff on the other line too, but nothing like this! I'm grabbing your button. 🙂

    Reply
  24. blankunknownmami says

    November 12, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    I will return the button love.

    Reply
  25. blankunknownmami says

    November 12, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    It worked my Cribster.

    Reply
  26. blankRebecca says

    November 12, 2009 at 6:43 pm

    Love it! I'm frequently talking to my husband or kids when the phone is ringing but that's because they all think that as soon as I hit the talk button on the phone, it's time to ask me questions. Thankfully our conversations have never really gone….there. Ha ha!

    Reply
  27. blankRebecca says

    November 12, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    That's funny!

    Reply
  28. blankCamp1974 says

    November 12, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    That's fantastic. When a man has something on his mind, he HAS SOMETHING ON HIS MIND!

    Reply
  29. blankbethakaconfusedhomemaker says

    November 12, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    Note to self: pay attention to what I am saying when calling others because you are so right that's not the type of planning you really want to involve others in.

    Reply
  30. blankparentingbydummies says

    November 12, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    That's hilarious! I hate when people butt call me, but that would be worth it!

    Reply
  31. blankauntof14 says

    November 12, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    Hahaha, I love it! I can imagine Bob's embarrassment, LOL

    Reply
  32. blankhelenmcg says

    November 12, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    ROTFL! Oh, that's a classic!

    Reply
  33. blankspeakingfromthecrib says

    November 12, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    i hope this works i tried to comment yesterday and nada it processed and never sent the msg so i gave up! great funny story! i am guilty of finishing my sentences too after someone picks up but nothing like that

    Reply
  34. blankkandjplus5 says

    November 12, 2009 at 8:33 pm

    Ha! Classic! And I guess you could count your blessings that there wasn't any more detail!!

    Reply
  35. blankwhendidibecomemymom says

    November 12, 2009 at 9:07 pm

    Hahahahahaha…. that's funny. I think I'd have hung up really quietly and had a good laugh. 🙂

    Reply
  36. blankvetsmom_rgv says

    November 12, 2009 at 9:21 pm

    That is a funny story…. I wish we did plan our “encounters.”

    Reply
  37. blankblueviolet says

    November 12, 2009 at 9:44 pm

    Awkward!!! At least he used an appropriate term like making love!

    Reply
  38. blankMarfMom says

    November 12, 2009 at 10:46 pm

    Hahahaha! That's a really funny story but I would have been mortified if I'd been him, lol.

    Reply
  39. blankyonca says

    November 13, 2009 at 12:15 am

    OMG! That is GREAT!!!

    Reply
  40. blankGibby says

    November 13, 2009 at 12:32 am

    Ha ha!! That is awesome!

    Reply
  41. blank38traci says

    November 13, 2009 at 1:28 am

    Gives new meaning to booty call.
    🙂

    Reply
  42. blanklisleman says

    November 13, 2009 at 1:51 am

    that's a great one – do you know his wife too? This could have been a Seinfeld episode. I've heard some funny things on voice messages when the caller doesn't know they are being recorded but nothing like this.

    Reply
  43. blankfranticmommy says

    November 13, 2009 at 2:22 am

    Intense embarassment is sometimes a passion-killer…unless it's been a rreeaalllyyy time since, you know. Then most couples can pull off a quicky while the kid is in the tub.
    Not that I'd know or anything……:)

    Reply
  44. blankThe Absence of Alternatives says

    November 13, 2009 at 7:01 am

    So jealous. Our kids don't take naps any more and I have never been in that kind of conversation…

    Reply
  45. blankKristin_The_Goat says

    November 13, 2009 at 7:34 am

    Here I was reading a few blogs to wind down so I could go to sleep and now that I've laughed so hard I might not quite be in the calm and sleepy mood that I was looking for — Oh well – it was a hell of a story! Congrats to Bob and his Bride 🙂 and I hope the babe took a nice long nap.

    Reply
  46. blankStacy (the Random Cool Chick) says

    November 13, 2009 at 11:40 am

    AHAHAHAHA! That's just way too funny! Wonder if Cesar ever got his nap? 😉

    Reply
  47. blankMommakin says

    November 13, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    Oh, that is too funny! Hey! What a brilliant freakin' comment! should I save it for my comment post?

    Reply
  48. blankmacey says

    November 13, 2009 at 6:03 pm

    Bwahahahaha! That's freakin' hilarious.

    Reply
  49. blankMichelle says

    November 13, 2009 at 8:40 pm

    🙂

    Reply
  50. blankmamasmurf says

    November 14, 2009 at 2:59 am

    hehehe *snickering* busted!

    Reply
  51. blankmamakatslosinit says

    November 14, 2009 at 10:35 pm

    Whoa whoa whoa…what's going on over here?? New digs? New design? Love it!

    And holy smokes, yeah, might I suggest NOT discussing the logistics of your love making whilst making a phone call!?! Hahahaha…that's awesome!

    Reply
  52. blankLori says

    November 17, 2009 at 12:23 am

    Rofl. I have a picture in my mind of Bob's mouth calling you on the phone while Bob's, you know, other part was talking to the wife. And that part won, as it always does! 😉

    Reply

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blankWelcome, I am your host Claudya Martinez. I'm a bilingual Latina raising multicultural kids in San Francisco. WARNING: I have a sense of humor that I'm not afraid to use. Hang out, stay un poco and let's get to know each other. Read More…

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