Position open immediately for voice-over artist to narrate my life. Prefer natural sounding female voice, but will consider male voice as long as you don’t sound like the guy who does all the voice-overs for Hollywood movie trailers.
Requirements:
- Strong verbal skills
- Ability to ad lib and speak throughout the day
- Candidate should be fluent in Spanish, English, and conversational Pidgin
- Must be able to infuse narration for even the most mundane moments with humor, nobility, or an air of mystery
- Have a voice that I can stand to listen to for extended periods of time
- Make me sound like the “Hero” in the story of my life
- Help in my relationships by vocalizing what I am feeling and thinking (i.e. “She sat on the sofa forlorn, longing for a kind look and warm embrace from her husband.”)
- Should be witty with a dry sense of humor; think Parker Posey or Janeane Garafalo.
- Must never upstage me
- Sensitive enough to know when silence is necessary (i.e. Don’t narrate when I’m in the bathroom!)
Interested candidates please submit voice-over demo no longer than one minute or leave message on voice mail with sample narration.
Compensation:
- Meals (Please don’t narrate with mouth full.)
- Lozenges
- Tea
- Credit as the Narrator of my life
This was very funny!! I like the idea of a Narrator. Stopping by from Mama Kat's.
Visiting from Mama Kats…What a totally creative spin on this! Now I want my own Narrator! It sure would make life more interseting and get my points across better! I adored this post!
Bwhahahahah!! Loved this! And what's with that one guy doing the movie trailers?? He's gettin' to me now.I loved the idea of having someone narrate out loud my wants and desires, like a cheesy soap opera.Awesome…can I borrow your narrator next? :o)
That is hilarious! I especially love, "Make me sound like the 'Hero' in the story of my life," and "Must never upstage me."
As she typed out her response, her fingers paused over the keyboard. How best to indicate to Unknown Mami that her post had amused her? She furrowed her brow and contemplated.
I love this post! You always have very clever posts that entertain me!P.S I'm usually the first to turn anything perverted, but ya beat me to it on my giveaway lol. Hilarious, I didn't even think of that till you pointed it out. lol.
Very unique! I love this idea. Ah to have a narrative of your life…:) And thank you. The interview took only 2 takes and I've actually been trying to get him to talk like this on camera for awhile. I try to get him to show me his signs but he won't.
Great ad. I too love the dry humor of Parker and Janeane. I wish they would do more films. Not too impressed with the performances of actresses lately. I did see The Proposal this past weekend. Great flick. Sandy had great chemistry with Ryan. She usually does with her co-stars, well except for Hugh Grant. Have a wonderful day and take care.-Kiki
Love hearing someone say she sits on the couch with forlorn. Ha!
I'll do it! If you come her and do all my chores….no? Oh well. ;O)Love it!helen xx
LOL, I would've done it but in the end I'd end up trying to upstage you. It's the performer in me, I apologize. 😉
Oh I would love that!! The guy from the movie trailers actually might be really funny…. hmmm… sounds like an upcoming post to me…
I am laughing so hard i'm crying!and the more i read it, the more i cry!!!!What a great post!!!Thank you for visiting my blog. This is the first time I've visited buy I am going to be a regular.
I was gonna apply but I would need a regular salary and a 401k. lol. Very funny idea.
Haha. This post reminded me of the movie Stranger than Fiction. Great movie. Have you seen it? Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Would it be too weird if your narrator had a Lithuanian accent?
Conversational Pidgen… HAHA! Love it!
This is seriously SO clever!
I think you covered all the main points!
I think the "Hollywood trailer voice over guy" died recently.I too would love a narrator, or at least a soundtrack!