I Comment Therefore I Am

This edition of I Comment Therefore I Am is dedicated to International Women’s Day. Women rule the blogoshpere!!! (No disrespect to the wonderful men of blogging. I’ll celebrate you on International Men’s Day. Wait, isn’t that every other day?)

Here are the comments I left on some wonderful posts:

Nancy at Away We Go wrote something so beautiful about Sundays In My City that I had to choke back tears because she gets me and it’s good to be gotten…

I started doing Sundays In My City because I really wanted to see the beauty that surrounds me every day. Yesterday, I was walking and I saw an ornament on a gate and thought about how beautiful it was and how lucky I am that I finally look at things instead of always being in my head.

I can not tell you how much I laughed when Think Tank Momma showed me a picture of handerpants, underwear for your hands…

I’m sorry, but handerpants is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Perhaps they are designed for people who are embarrassed to masturbate with their naked hand. Makes it more demure that way.

Melissa wrote that by the time I read her post she would not be around, but that I should peruse her blog and make myself at home. Oh, I did…

I just ran around your blog naked because I knew you weren’t around and then I banged my head on one of your side columns because you moved it around since the last time I was here. Now I’m naked and have a big bump on my head. At least you are not here to see, that would be embarrassing.

At Today’s Parent, I was asked if I knew how to get rid of ants…

We are having huge issues with ants. My husband says they are ants from Argentina. It really bothers me that foreign ants are coming here and taking jobs away from local ants. I’m kidding.

Anali’s First Amendment made me think of perceptions of being American in relation to food. She brought up chocolate chip cookies as a cultural cookie. I am first and foremost an American, but because I am the daughter of a Mexican mother…

My experience of being American is quite different because I am first generation born here. I didn’t grow up with chocolate chip cookies baking in the kitchen. I remember I used to go to friend’s houses and their mothers would make them Kraft Mac n Cheese. I thought it must be really hard to make because we never had any at my house. When I moved out I bought some and kept looking at the box thinking something must be missing because it was not hard at all. 

At Fumbling Towards Normalcy, I was reminded that happiness is all around us…

I am becoming much better at finding happiness everyday. Maybe, it’s not even finding it, it’s more like noticing it. These moments infuse my day, but sometimes I fail to notice. Lately, I’ve been noticing.

I do not want to share the following comments because the subject matter alone makes me ill, but a post at Bloggin2Noggin about the abuse perpetrated by Dr. Bradley really affected me so much so that I commented twice. (If you do not agree with me and want to comment, please be respectful; I find it extremely difficult to discuss this subject.)

Just thinking about this makes me want to throw up. I never feel that the punishment for these kinds of heinous acts is enough. There is no excuse for this kind of behavior.

 

I am wary of blaming the parents because I do not know the specific details. Yes parents are absolutely responsible for protecting their children, but as someone that was molested as a child, I would not blame my mother.

I kept thinking about it, so I had to go back and add:

I’m back. I can’t stop thinking about this post.

 

Please understand that I am not taking issue with you. I appreciate that you wrote this and it has obviously struck a chord with me. I just wanted to share what I’ve been thinking.

 

Other reasons why blaming the parents bothers me:

 

It takes focus away from the actual perpetrators.

 

It smacks of “blame the victim”. For example when a woman gets raped and people ask questions like, “What was she wearing?”, “Was she alone?”, blah, blah, blah. Those questions are beside the point. There is nothing that would make the woman responsible for the criminal act perpetrated against her.

 

As parents, we leave our children with trusted individuals all the time, whether it be at school or church or with relatives. Yes it’s odd to leave a child alone with a doctor, but again…I do not know the circumstances and I’m sure that if those parents had any inkling that their child was in danger they would not have done it. Most people truly trust their child’s doctor or they would choose another.

 

There is so much stigma and pain associated with admitting that a child was molested. These parents are now tasked with helping their children heal. They need our support, not our judgment or derision. I would hate for them to have to deal with public backlash in addition to all the tremendous guilt that I know they will carry around for the rest of their lives.

 

Let’s stigmatize the perpetrators, not the survivors. Let’s not make this another taboo that people want to ignore or hide from. 

Alyssa, the author of the post responded:

Unknown Mami, You are right. The blame absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt belongs to that vile doctor. What he did is inexcusable and in no way are children responsible…EVER.

 

I hope that as parents we make wise decisions regarding our children. In too many cases (perhaps such as yours) abuse was unforseeable, unavoidable. I am truly truly sorry. Believe me, that saddens me.

 

It also saddens me, though, that parents would take a potential risk and expose children to AVOIDABLE harm. I’d love to see this not happen again.

Seeing as it’s International Women’s Day, I would like to end with the followung:

At Boys and Girls I read,” Everything is like a mystery when it comes to women……WHY?” My response….

Women are magic and magic can not be explained.

That’s it for this edition of I Comment Therefore I Am.

Do you give good comment? Wanna play along? Go forth, spread the comment love, and turn it into a post (I keep a draft post open while I read blogs throughout the week).  Recycle, reuse, and reduce my friends; it’s the wave of the future.

Oh and feel free to comment on my comments otherwise how will I know that you exist.

If you play along please link back and/or post the button below. Spread the love, spread the love!