At Single Mam NYC, I read about how my wonderful bloggy gemela “twin” (we’re like twins from different mothers) would love to find a way to alleviate the heartache that her son experiences because of the lack of consistency and dependability from his father. Wouldn’t it be great if we could spare children from this particular heartbreak?
Oh Gemela, I love you and I know you are there for your son. All you can do is love him and be a positive force. The journey he will experience with his feelings because of his father is unfortunately not something that you can change. These are difficult complicated feelings. As a child that was raised by a single mother and has an open wound when it comes to her relationship with her father, all I can say is be honest with your son about what he can expect from his father, but never speak poorly of his father to him. I think that is one of the things that my mother did right. My feelings about my father are “my” feelings, they are not affected or molded by my mother and as an adult I really appreciate that.
At Stir-Fry Awesomeness I was asked, ” Did you ‘turn out’ better or worse than people thought you would?” I don’t usually like to imagine what others think of me, but here’s my answer:
I’d like to think that the huge bloggy empire I have built will make others think I am immensely successful. Ha!
But seriously folks, life is too short to worry about what others think of you. We’re all human, we’re all flawed, we’ve all made accomplishments, we’ve all loved, we’ve all suffered. It’s not a competition; it’s a journey and we are all on a different one.
The author of Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip usually writes about the lighter side of life. She has a fantastic sense of humor and has many times made me laugh, but she shared a poignant post about the demise of her sister and the pain it is causing. I’m proud of her for sharing something so personal. Stop by and give her some support if you can.
I am so sorry. This is heartbreaking and I’m glad you chose to share. You should not have to pretend to be light and airy when things are not. My brother is a recovering heroin addict. It has been a very painful journey and it continues to be. I never trust that he is “okay” and at one point I just had to accept that the day may come when I get a call telling me that he has died. Of course, I do not want that to happen, but I had to let myself accept the worst possible outcome because I have no control over the situation. I know I do not “know” you, but you have touched me and I am sending you love. Be good to yourself and know that you have a friend in SF sending you positive thoughts.
That’s it for this edition of I Comment Therefore I Am.
Do you give good comment? Wanna play along? Go forth, spread the comment love, and turn it into a post (I keep a draft post open while I read blogs throughout the week). Recycle, reuse, and reduce my friends; it’s the wave of the future.
Oh and feel free to comment on my comments otherwise how will I know that you exist.
If you play along please link back and/or post the button below. Spread the love, spread the love! You can grab the button code from my sidebar.
Hi. I stayed up specially to see this. A very touching post. We are all struggling through life with various problems and conditions. But it is the love and support of friends that sees us through every time. I am overwhelmed at how much of the world has opened up to me since I started blogging and how much good friendship and sharing has come into my life. This is another good reason to keep spreading comment love. A blogging friend of mine once designed a beautiful award and passed it out to all the friends who helped her through a difficult crisis with their comment support. As you say, go forth, spread the word….
I'm sorry I made you stay up. We had a rough night last night and it took me longer than usual to get the post up.
I'll be by to check out your post after I get my errands done.
That Naomi is amazing. What a great comment you shared! I am so grateful you're in this blog world.
I always look forward to your comments! 🙂
Very wise words this week. I think more people than we know have been touched by addiction in some way or another whether it be personally or through a loved one. I'm always grateful to people who share their difficult stories because you never know who might read it and feel just a little less alone in the world. – G
I think that your advice to your bloggy twin was excellent!
Oh, the ones about the addicts…their families just wait for the news…it's so sad. 🙁
Your mother did a good job letting you decide your own feelings with your father. When My ex and I divorced we made an agreement to not bad mouth each other to our kids and we always kept that promise. We did not use the kids as weapons in a tug of war.
Lots of heart and wisdom in your comments. I know the writers appreciated your thoughtful responses.
Dang it Mami…you give good comments, for sure! I think that is very good advice about not bashing one another for the sake of the children. It's unfair, and really not necessary.
You always leave the best comments! Thanks for the link!
What great, thoughtful comments. I love this idea.
those were great comments!!!:) actually have a post up!stop by
There is good reason why Polonius' last piece of advice to his son Laertes is “… to thine own self be true …” in Hamlet. Part of the human condition is to face conflict between appearance and reality, between what we really feel and what we expose to others. It is so important to be true to yourself and not hide behind a shell.
I too always enjoy and appreciate your comments 🙂
WC is over. Espana won, all is right with teh world.
This might be my favorite comment left on my blog this week. Thank you for your wise words.
Visit me at: http://www.unknownmami.com.
It's the support of this incredible blogging community that keeps me spending an hour and a day in front of the screen, with no compensation.
The people here hold me up.
Fantastic post. Thank you.
Oh Mami ~ I love your heart.
Such excellent comments, Mami: You are wise way beyond your years. I totally agree with marlaahansen's comment: I love your heart.
And that, my friend, is why you are Queen of the Comments!!! You are kind. You are supportive. And you are damn funny — of course, you are immensely successful!
🙂
Traci