If You Give a Mom a Cookie

If you give a mom a cookie, she’s gonna have to give it to her kids.

When she splits it for them to share, they will fight over who gets the biggest piece.

When they finally figure out who gets what piece, they are going to want to some milk and of course they are going to want some stinkin’ straws to go with their milk.

When they are finished, they won’t want a napkin. They’ll just wipe their grimy hands all over their clothes and then they’ll want to change their clothes because they have eyes and can see that they got filthy.

They’ll leave a pile of dirty clothes and expect the mom to deal with it as they make a mess of their room trying to find something that doesn’t itch or scratch or rub them the wrong way when they wear it.

Read more parenting humor on Unknown Mami: My Daughter’s Note to the Tooth Fairy is Just Plain Rude

They’ll run around the house half naked and screaming on a cookie-induced sugar high. It will all be fun and games until someone trips or gets pushed and ends up crying.

When all the boo boos have been kissed and the children are finally dressed and calm, they’ll complain that they are hungry.

The mom will make them a perfectly balanced meal that they will refuse to eat and in a fit of exasperation she will tell them that if they eat their food they can have another cookie.

Please don’t give a mom a cookie if her kids are anywhere near her.