I met a man when I was 18 years old. Sometimes he would drive me absolutely crazy because he was so set in his ways and his ways are so different than mine. I never would have met him if it weren’t for my mother. Apparently, they decided to build a life together.
I no longer lived with my mother. We didn’t even live in the same city anymore. When I would visit, I would stay in his home that my mom now shared. It didn’t stay “his” home for long. My mom has a way of making things her own. Pretty soon it started to look like their home even though he fought to keep it just the way he liked it, just the way it had always been. Change is bound to happen, you can’t change that.
He was nice, but stubborn. He would take us out to eat when I visited, but it had to be places he picked and he wanted me to eat what he picked for me and to share it with my brother. Ha!!! That was not about to happen.
Once we had a huge fight because he under-tipped a very good waitress that he had put through the wringer. He wasn’t under-tipping her to punish her, he was just a horrible tipper in general. At the time, I worked at a restaurant and was very familiar with bad tippers and how I still had to pay taxes on assumed tips. I put more money on the table and he flipped out, made a huge scene. I stood my ground and let him look crazy.
Here’s the thing, I’ve always stood my ground with him and somehow this stubborn man that was set in his ways has changed and I’ve changed too. We will never agree on everything or even most things…
- He is a staunch Republican – I have nothing to conserve, why on earth would I be conservative?
- He quotes Dr. Laura to me – I puke in my mouth a little when he does.
- He listens to AM talk radio- NPR is more my style.
- He donated money to the NRA in my name- that was the only time I was truly mad at him (its my name!!!).
You get the picture. Yet, with all of our differences we’ve found something much larger that we have in common: we love each other immensely.
This man, that started off as just a man to me, is no longer just a man in my life. He is my father. He is the father I never had growing up. I don’t like calling him my step-father because that puts too much space between us. I adore him and I know that he is devoted to me and my well-being. You should hear him talk about me, like I am one of the most wonderful people on the planet.
I don’t know what I did to deserve this relationship, but it has been one of the biggest blessings in my life and I am so very grateful.
I hope you have someone like this in your life, too and I hope you have much to be grateful for.
ALSO READ: Portrait of a Father Who Thinks He Could Be Doing Better
That’s so sweet. 🙂 My step-father is more of a father to me than my birth father ever was or ever will be, so I understand. 🙂
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ to all of you and your family in CV. Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving to you, too! I miss you.
What a great tribute! He must be proud!
This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with us. It gives me chills reading it. As an adoptive mother of older children, not counting all the people I adopt into my life unofficially, I love thinking maybe there are people out there that see me the way you see your dad.
Happy Thanksgiving, Mami. I love you. I truly do. In a conservative sort of way, of course. 🙂
This is SO sweet. You are lucky to have a man like that in your life. 🙂
What a lovely story. I’ll bet he is an awesome Grandpapa too!
I have to say, giving to a charity in the name of someone who can’t stand a certain cause would be a really great way to drive them up the wall. (I might have to steal that idea.)- G
PS. BTW – he’s not wrong about you being one of the most wonderful people on the planet. I’m afraid you are just going to have to learn to live with that one. 😉
Hey! I tore a tendon in my wrist so I haven’t been commenting but I fought through pain (and emotional tears) to comment here. There is a saying that God brings us the people we need and I am so glad that He brought you a true father. My dad makes me crazy at times but it has also made me a better person. All that said, I am with you on the NRA donation — LOL!
Happy Thanksgiving!
I’m so glad you have him for your father. ((HUGS))
Donates to the NRA in your name? Maybe you can donate to one of your favorite charities in his name and make it a light hearted “battle”. He obviously loves you and you obviously respect him in spite of his political affiliations. Good for you.
You are incredibly lucky I think.
I have a ‘step father’ and that is all he is…
nice thanksgiving message – I recall you saying good things about him in the past. When the relationships work well like they should dropping the “step” is the right thing to do. I don’t think of any of my kids as “step” son or daughter. They are just son or daughter.
thanks for sharing a reminder of the nice people in the world.
you are a pretty lucky lady!
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but when I finished reading this post water was coming out of my eyes. This is what Thanksgiving is all about, and you did a beautiful job describing it.
What a beautiful story. Glad you were able to build such a strong relationship.
This was lovely. I don’t like the word “step” either. You are a very lucky person, as is he.
That was so lovely. He sounds like a wonderful man (even if he is a conservative). 🙂
Hope you have a great Thanksgiving!
What a wonderful blessing. Thank you for sharing this with us.
I love how I got to the end of the blog expecting to hear that you had made peace with what you didn’t like about your step father. But instead I have tears in my eyes for the love you the two of you have for each other. How wonderful! And great writing, too!
What a lovely tribute. I have serveral people in my life who have been stubborn enough to claim me although at times I’m sure they were worried about the path I was on. It’s pretty sweet when it all comes back together and you know that they are proud of you.
I’m so glad “this man” is part of your life; he sounds like a “gem of a person”. Truly someone to be thankful for this season of thanks! May it be a good day for you tomorrow however you spend it!
betty
That’s such a beautiful tribute to your father. I hope he’s reading your blog. Wishing you and yours a wonderful Thanksgiving.
OK, I have to admit to laughing about the NRA donation. I totally get your anger, but the sneakiness of that tickles me!
I am happy you have that relationship, and I hope someday my kids appreciate their relationship with their stepfather (my husband) as much as you do.
OK, I have to admit to laughing about the NRA donation. I totally get your anger, but the sneakiness of that tickles me!
I am happy you have that relationship, and I hope someday my kids appreciate their relationship with their stepfather (my husband) as much as you do.
Hi Unknown Mami!
This is my favorite post so far =] I love my Dad a great deal too. Cheers to us for being given such cool dads =]
Happy Thanksgiving!
Snowy greetings from Santa Claus home country. Did you know he (Joulupukki in Finnish) lives in Korvatunturi, Lapland? 🙂
Dads and daughters…sometimes, it’s complicated. I’m glad you each can love each other past the differences 🙂
Despite differences, family is still family.
What a nice tribute to him! You are very lucky to have that kind of relationship with a step parent. I know a lot of people who don’t. Happy Thanksgiving Mami!
Oh this is beautiful! I am so happy that your life has been blessed with having a dad like this. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family! Cheers!
Wonderful true story! I hope you and yours are having a wonderful day!
Great post, Mami!!
It is true and amazing how we are able to love the people in our lives despite our differences. My FIL is very similar to what you described in the post… but I always respect him since we don’t talk politics when we get together…
Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
What a great post! <3 I have a great step-dad, too, but he came into my life a lot younger, and after my first dad died. I love them both immensely and have never felt the need to use the "step" either! Happy Thanksgiving!
wise words.
love embrace gaps and boundaries.
beautiful post.
Hope you well.
awards/treats 4 u
Happy Belated Thanksgiving..
I met my step-daughter when she was 15–when we first started out in our relationship, we had some really hard times–she had been an only child for all her life and when they moved in with me, I had 15 and 16 year old daughters. Suddenly she had to share her dad with three more women. She is now 36 and has asked ME to be her mother of the bride at her wedding–I was sooo honored to be asked. We have a great, loving relationship now, something I never thought would happen. I am so glad you have your Dad, and that you speak about him so sweetly in public.
That was such a great post. (Though I have to admit, the idea of a donation to the NRA in your name made me laugh!)
I love the yin & yang of your relationship. The only father I have had in my life came into it when I was 3 years old. He is my Dad & he means the world to me. Sometimes the most special people don’t have to be blood 🙂
It’s wonderful that the two of you have carved out a close relationship. I can imagine that it would be difficult to all of a sudden have a father figure at the age of 18, but incredible that you see him as your father. That’s good stock on both sides 🙂
He sounds like a wonderful man! I love relationships like this!
Hi! Visiting from sweetbutterbliss. What an awesome post! So glad you have each other too 🙂
I am glad that you were so lucky to have found someone for that space.