I met a man when I was 18 years old. Sometimes he would drive me absolutely crazy because he was so set in his ways and his ways are so different than mine. I never would have met him if it weren’t for my mother. Apparently, they decided to build a life together.
I no longer lived with my mother. We didn’t even live in the same city anymore. When I would visit, I would stay in his home that my mom now shared. It didn’t stay “his” home for long. My mom has a way of making things her own. Pretty soon it started to look like their home even though he fought to keep it just the way he liked it, just the way it had always been. Change is bound to happen, you can’t change that.
He was nice, but stubborn. He would take us out to eat when I visited, but it had to be places he picked and he wanted me to eat what he picked for me and to share it with my brother. Ha!!! That was not about to happen.
Once we had a huge fight because he under-tipped a very good waitress that he had put through the wringer. He wasn’t under-tipping her to punish her, he was just a horrible tipper in general. At the time, I worked at a restaurant and was very familiar with bad tippers and how I still had to pay taxes on assumed tips. I put more money on the table and he flipped out, made a huge scene. I stood my ground and let him look crazy.
Here’s the thing, I’ve always stood my ground with him and somehow this stubborn man that was set in his ways has changed and I’ve changed too. We will never agree on everything or even most things…
- He is a staunch Republican – I have nothing to conserve, why on earth would I be conservative?
- He quotes Dr. Laura to me – I puke in my mouth a little when he does.
- He listens to AM talk radio- NPR is more my style.
- He donated money to the NRA in my name- that was the only time I was truly mad at him (its my name!!!).
You get the picture. Yet, with all of our differences we’ve found something much larger that we have in common: we love each other immensely.
This man, that started off as just a man to me, is no longer just a man in my life. He is my father. He is the father I never had growing up. I don’t like calling him my step-father because that puts too much space between us. I adore him and I know that he is devoted to me and my well-being. You should hear him talk about me, like I am one of the most wonderful people on the planet.
I don’t know what I did to deserve this relationship, but it has been one of the biggest blessings in my life and I am so very grateful.
I hope you have someone like this in your life, too and I hope you have much to be grateful for.