One of the most difficult adjustments for me since becoming a mother is the lack of “me” time. I have always loved to spend time alone. Some people don’t get it, they always love to be in the company of others and while I enjoy being around those I love, I enjoy being with me, myself, and I a lot.
Once, I was at a restaurant with a friend and she said she felt sorry for another customer that was eating alone. I couldn’t understand why. I told her that I love going out to eat alone. She said she would feel to self conscious. I found that rather limiting.Why should I have to be in the company of others to enjoy myself or do something fun?
I’ve done all sorts of things by myself. Here are a few and the benefits of doing them alone:
- I’ve dined alone. I don’t have to split the bill and get pissed because I only had a salad and my companion had steak and 3 beers.
- I’ve gone to the movies alone. I can see something I’m too embarrassed to admit I actually want to see, I don’t have to share my snacks, I can leave early if the movie sucks.
- I’ve gone to parties alone. I meet way more people because I’m forced to socialize as opposed to sitting in the corner with a friend or paramour all night.
Now that I am a mami, I don’t have the luxury of large chunks of time to myself, but I absolutely must have at least a little bit of time to myself EVERY SINGLE DAY or I will go bonkers. I can get at least 10 minutes of “me” time a day; it’s not much, but it’s better than nothing. Here are some of the exciting soul-enhancing things I do when I get 10 minutes to myself:
- I take a shower. Alone!!! Woo hoo!!!
- I flip through a trashy magazine.
- I read.
- I blog. Glorious blogging.
- I lay on the sofa and just think.
- I feel guilty that I should be doing something “productive” then I remind myself that sometimes doing nothing is the most productive thing I can do for myself.
I know none of these things sound exciting, but just being able to be all about me and my wants and my desires for a few minutes a day gives me the energy to a better mother the rest of the time. It can’t always be all about me, but it better be about me some of the time or NO ONE will be happy.
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It is sooooo incredibly important to have “me time” I just wish that my hubby understood that too!
I love your last statement regarding doing productive things.
Dee
So true. Much of my “me time” is spent enjoying the solitude.
Love your “me” post UM. It's crucial and essential to have “me” time.
I 've often said that.
Hope you're having a fantastic “me” day!
Missed you!
B xx
Oh yes, my friend. I told you about “going to pilates” and really going for pasta and a martini, right? Since becoming a mom, there are a lot of things I enjoy doing alone I never would have. I need my time every day too. The absolute best? Going to a nice restaurant with a great play list on my player and a stack of magazines or a book.
I completely understand the loving to be alone part. I'm just like that. I don't understand people who cannot stand to be alone. What are they afraid of… themselves? How sad.
it never fails….no matter where I am in our home, there they'll be. fortunately, as the kids get older it gets easier to take larger chunks of time away.
I'm one of those awkward single diners: I won't do it if I don't have a book/magazine to act as a “cover.” I already do the “I should be doing something more productive” guilt trips: does that mean they could get WORSE if I have kids? O_O lol
I've always been that way too. Now that my kids are grown I get plenty of “me” time. I love it. Enjoy every minute you get.
Gotta love the me time! I have blogged about that battle over and over. I decided that the bath was the best place for me time. I would take in a book and some candles and a drink. I would go in there for like 30 minutes, maybe more. Heaven! They would check up on me often … all of them … and even started bringing me the phone so I could take calls (groan) … but we seem to have that sorted now. I think the “hairy eyeball” stare finally worked.
I think Auntnikki12 hit the nail on the head: “What are they afraid of… themselves?”
The answer to that, sadly, is a definite yes—that's why they are constantly “productive.”
ME time isn't only about doing “stuff” alone. It's also about navel-gazing: wondering who we are, what our strengths and shortcomings are, changes to work on, where our life stands now and where we WANT it to go, and most of all, are we happy.
I totally get the need for “me” time. I once took a whole week's vacation by myself. I left hubby and kids behind in Maine and flew to West Palm Beach, FL for a glorious week alone! My sister couldn't imagine doing such a thing, but I loved it. I also used to take a day and drive to Mt Desert Island, ME (about 3 hurs from my house) and spend the day as well. Now that I'm retired and the kids are grown, I don't crave the me time as much, but I still love a day to myself entirely now and then!
…….since the birth of my daughter 5 years ago….I have not been alone for more than 2 hours, TOTAL
I never knew the whole “me time” thing. Like what it was about, and before I had kids I'd hear sahm's say it on Oprah and I (in my no kids days) was like, “Oh, that's selfish.”
Oh how I eat those words every.stinkin'.day.
Sometimes I find myself sitting on the toilet longer than I need to. That's when I know I need to demand some me time.
What are you talking about “not exciting” – any mother will tell you that a “shower alone” could be the highlight of her day! You are absolutely right – if I don't get my time alone everybody suffers and still – I love being a mom and I love being around the people I love.
SO True!!! ; I do the guilt thing too. Or the “they grow up so fast” guilt trip. But “self” time is sooo important. It rejuvenates me and makes me better able to enjoy the rest of life! 🙂
Oh my goodness!! I remember those days! I think I did go a little bonkers with my three overly energetic boys. Me, hardly existed at all. Now that my boys are older I have a lot of me time. I still do quite a bit for my family and others (volunteerism). Like you, I am very social but I also LOVE spending time alone. I've done the solo movie thing and dining thing too.!! It was hard at first but one time had me rolling. On one of my solo movie trips I noticed that everyone in the movie theater was a woman and siting alone. LOL!! I had the urge to ask them if they were mommies too, b/c it was an early showing on a school day.
I am also a fan of doing things alone. Not ALL the time, but if you aren't comfortable with your own self, how can you expect to make others happy?
I like that i can do whatever i want without having to compromise, and i especially find it nice to go to a movie that i would not expect anyone to see with me! LOL No sense bringing anyone along who might gripe about the selected 'fromage'~!
I am nearing the end of children napping– wished the day might never arrive! –so i guess soon i will once again be searching for appropriate 'ME' time. Guess that is why i blog. It is me and me alone. No one tells me what to put on/in my blog, and no one 'hangs' with me while i do it. ALONE.
I just hope i'm not one of those mothers who ends up finding herself 'sad' to be alone when the kiddos are off to college! Goodness, gracious-lol!
I don;t think my children or husband would still be alive if I didn't get my daily me time! But I'm still trying to figure out the showering alone thing. Someone ALWAYS has to pee!!!
Our bathing area is in a different area than our toilet so I can shower with no one “needing” to use the room.
Lucky you!
Going to the movies alone is the BEST. I'm married and I still like going without my husband.
I guess I'll continue to enjoy these me times while I still can!
You and I have so much in common it is scary. That could be my lists up there exactly (before and after). There is nothing more important than spending a little quality alone time. And you are right, it makes for better Me's, Mami's and wives (-:
Me time is important to everyone,
hope that you enjoy free time…
Happy Wednesday!
Cool post!
I went to a movie once. I loved it : )
I don't like eating out by myself.
I just like to talk : )
I get so much alone time when I am working from home and kaish is at school. I can't wait for the burst open when he returns. I love that little sucker. Love. love. LOVE!
Can't you have “me time” while Mr. Unknown cruises local parks picking up dads?
They spent all of yesterday on another date, but I was at work.
Oh let it be all about you !
🙂
ah but those 10 minutes are glorious sometimes…
I'm sorry do I owe you something when I had too many beers?
You know cerveza is one of the few Spanish words I know. Cerveza Negra is the best.
I'm lucky that I get more me time now than ever before. I do think that there are people who don't like themselves enough to enjoy being alone. I'm not one to go to movies or parties on my own, but the other things are sometimes more fun that way.
My “me time” is something rare, I mean my husband understand that I need my time but sometimes is hard but I'm trying to have it every single day (at least 15 minutes).
Doing nothing is one of the most important gifts we can give ourselves.
Lynn me time is very important. Otherwise Lynn gets loudly grumpy. I haven't managed the dining alone yet, but don't mind movies solo. So many woman don't see downtime as productive time even though it is so important for our spirits, and sanity!
I totally agree!! I love to stay up late when everyone else is asleep and turn Letterman down all the way so I can only see him laugh at his own jokes and I don't have to hear the two teenagers booming music or the two little ones needing this or that or wanting this or that. Of course, then that is over when I head to bed and have to listen to my husband's beastly snore and it makes me want to shove Cheetos up his nose 🙂
Raising as many kids as I have has given me a great appreciation for me time! I get away as much as I can, I mean several states away, to be alone! I love to hang in the hotel room, by the pool, order room service and, maybe, see some friends. All of this done without the usual “Where's the ketchup?” “Are my eyelashes ok?” “MOM!!!” or any of the other myriad of usless questions my kids have come up with.
Just an FYI…since reading your rant about the word verification I cannot NOT pay attention to it now. I never did before; I just typed in the random letters and went on about my business. Today I got “studd”…yep that's right! You know what's up!! LOL
Yep, a girl's gotta have some “me” time every single day! It makes all the difference in the world.
Go for it!
jj
I agree, I HAVE to have my ME time…and that usually equals blogging time, but tonight it also consisted of going to the hospital. Not ideal ME time but me time all together!
And I would dine alone…but I argue far to much with myself and need a majority rules, and since I only have 2 personalities they are always at a push! LOL
I love my me time too. Now that I don´t have anymore kids at home, I get enough of it. Now I miss my “we” time. 🙂
I so agree with you. I like my own company and I do feel sorry for people who are afraid to be on their own. I recharged my batteries on my own, I do not need somebody else to re-energize me. And my children learned very early on that there was nothing wrong to spend time on their own, they did not need to be stimulated every second of the day.
Have a great day with time on your own. xxx
All of these me things you do now that you are a mom sound absolutely fabulous to me! I love my quiet me time.
LMAO. I use to think the same way as your friend. I refused to eat alone, go to the movies alone or even the bar alone. Now I'm wishing for my alone time like you. I totally could go to a restaurant and eat alone, at the bar of course. Pretned I'm visiting and that my name was something funky like LOLA from Vermont.
I love doing things alone. I NEVER have enough alone time.
Taking care of yourself is your number one job. I had trouble understanding that when I was a young mother, I thought my number one job was taking care of my kids. Then a girlfriend told me that I need to put me first so I will be strong and healthy to take care of the kids. Duh. I have many times eaten in restaurants alone with a book and felt fine. But one time I went to a movie just a regular movie and I was not comfortable in the movie by myself. Sad, huh. I am a much stronger and healthier person now so maybe a movie by myself would not be like that for me today. Anyway, I so like it that you are in a good place and have your time, just for you.
Showeing by myself is about as exciting as it gets around here. Good for you for claiming your me time!
Showering. I meant showering.
I love my me time, just wish Mr. Man would get that. If I fight for it, I can get 30mins. It ends up being like 30 mins every two weeks. But I try every stinkin day to get some me time. I love that comment about the productive things. I had that moment today when I got some me time…I thought there is so much I could be doing. Then after thinking about it I thought: "screw it. I'm too tired." 🙂
I can't disagree with any of this, and I enjoy an occasional movie alone.
Oh you have no idea how much I can identify with this. I get really fractious if I'm constantly 'on duty'. When my girls were very little I took the radical step of asking them to please let me watch 'Neighbours' (Aussie soap) for 20 minutes during the day. It's not that the soap opera was particularly fine writing or acting, it was that even when surrounded by very young children, I just needed those 20 minutes when they would play quietly and just. leave. me. alone. It worked. Saved my sanity it did!.
Time to ourselves is so important… even just to hear ourselves think!
I have that need in common with you. It is absolutely CRUCIAL for me to have that alone time daily. Don't you know that I've even warned Otin about that!
I couldn't agree with you more!!!
Hey, here's some Me, Me, Me for ya! You've got an award over at Deep Fried Fruit. Enjoy!
Thank you! I'll be by as soon as I get a chance.
I love my me time, just wish Mr. Man would get that. If I fight for it, I can get 30mins. It ends up being like 30 mins every two weeks. But I try every stinkin day to get some me time. I love that comment about the productive things. I had that moment today when I got some me time…I thought there is so much I could be doing. Then after thinking about it I thought: “screw it. I'm too tired.” 🙂
Time to ourselves is so important… even just to hear ourselves think!
I have that need in common with you. It is absolutely CRUCIAL for me to have that alone time daily. Don't you know that I've even warned Otin about that!
You are speaking my language- Me time, Me time, Me time! I dont get it too often but never know what to do with myself when i get it.
I've never dined alone or gone to the movies alone but I love to watch movies at home alone, or read— and of course blog- uninterrupted.
I am exactly like that. Except for the movie part – I stay at home alone watching movies.
I am exactly like that. Except for the movie part – I stay at home alone watching movies.
My Mother-in-law has never been to a restaurant alone. I was in shock when she said that, but then once I thought about it, I knew that wasn't her style. I've driven across the country a few times all by myself and I drive from Florida to Michigan at least once a year alone. I love it. What I really like is if I see something that I want to photograph I don't have to make anyone wait or frustrated because I've turned around to go back and get a shot of that sign or whatever it is. 🙂
My Mother-in-law has never been to a restaurant alone. I was in shock when she said that, but then once I thought about it, I knew that wasn't her style. I've driven across the country a few times all by myself and I drive from Florida to Michigan at least once a year alone. I love it. What I really like is if I see something that I want to photograph I don't have to make anyone wait or frustrated because I've turned around to go back and get a shot of that sign or whatever it is. 🙂
The other day, I got to see an art house movie and a play by myself!!! I used to do things like all the time pre-children but these days are few and far between. Lately, I haven't even had blogging time. I think that time alone is super-vauabe and very under-rated!
🙂
The other day, I got to see an art house movie and a play by myself!!! I used to do things like all the time pre-children but these days are few and far between. Lately, I haven't even had blogging time. I think that time alone is super-valuable and very under-rated! 🙂