A Mother’s Day Letter to Myself

I thought I would write a Mother’s Day letter to myself this year because I deserve to praise myself. I put a lot of effort into this motherhood gig and I’m not even going to pretend to humble brag, I’m going to full on brag. I don’t always feel great about myself as a mother, but right now I do and I’m going with it. So without further ado…

A Mother’s Day Letter to Myself

Dear Claudya, 

I am so freakin’ proud of you. Can you believe what a great mother you are? I certainly had no idea that you would be this good at it. 

Remember how hard it was for you to even decide to become a mother? You weren’t sure that you would ever want to do it because the responsibility seemed so immense and overwhelming. You were so wrapped up in taking care of yourself and surviving that you couldn’t imagine taking care of anyone else. You were so selfish. 

Somehow love or divine intervention made you stop and consider the real reasons you didn’t want to have kids and it became clear that you didn’t want kids because you were afraid. You were afraid their childhood would be as hard as yours was, you were afraid you wouldn’t be able to protect them, you were afraid you wouldn’t be able to provide for them. Hmm, maybe you weren’t so selfish after all? You were afraid for them even though they didn’t and might not ever exist. 

Fear is such a constant in your life. How could it not be when you’ve experienced so much violence? Fear has kept you alive and helped you survive. Fear thinks it knows what’s best for you always, but not all fear is worthy of being listened to. The fear that keeps you alive deserves your attention, but the fear that keeps you from growing and living can get the hell out of your way. 

And so you told fear to GTFO and you had children. Two amazing daughters. The most incredible people in your life. They have changed EVERYTHING. In a way, they’ve even given you back your childhood because you can parent them the way you wish you had been parented. You can support them the way you wish you had been supported. You can love them the way you wish you had been loved.

And you have transformed in a way that never would have happened if you had let fear keep you from becoming a mother. You have become a superhero with an iron will. Your children have unleashed a force within you that is so powerful it knows no bounds and a love that is immeasurable. 

You’re not a perfect mother because no one is, but you are TREMENDOUS. The things you can do are PHENOMENAL. You can soothe them with “sana, sana colitas,” you love them so strongly they can feel it even when you aren’t around, you make them feel safe, you are their home for now until they are ready to make their own home. 

I am so freakin’ proud of you, mama! You’ve done well and I know you will keep doing your best. 

Love, 

Claudya

P.S. It’s time to make them start doing more chores, though. You’re tired lady and they can do more to help out. 

Happy Mother’s Day!

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