My Friend…

Today, I want to tell you a little bit about my friend Michele. I could write an entire book about my relationship with Michele, but who would read a 500 page blog post?

I’ve been thinking about how I would like to describe my wonderful friend to you and nothing seemed right, nothing seemed adequate and then it came to me right before I fell asleep one night. It came to me in one concise sentence:

Michele is better than me.

It’s as simple as that. She is better than me and I love her for it. Please don’t think that I am putting myself down because I am not. I like who I am, I am proud of who I am. Regardless, she is better than me. And I am a better person because she is better than me and she inspires me. She has taught me so many lessons just by being herself.

I’ve know Michele since my painfully awkward years in junior high school. We met the very last year of junior high and bonded enough to sustain a relationship for over 25 years and counting even though we didn’t attend the same high school or college. I could tell you countless funny stories of our friendship because we’ve laughed and had much fun together, but instead I’ll tell you a story that isn’t funny at all.

Sometime around the early 90’s Michele and I lived together in San Francisco. Living with friends can put a strain on a relationship and many friendships don’t survive, ours suffered a bit of wear and tear. I remember Michele doing dishes in our kitchen and somehow she irritated me. Irritating me is not so hard, I’m easily put upon. Anyway, I opened my big mouth and said something rude and derisive. Not one of my best moments. A smaller person would have taken the bait and fought back or put me in my place with a cutting remark. Not Michele. She looked up at me with her big beautiful blue eyes welling up with tears and she very calmly said, “Do you feel better after saying that to me? Because I feel awful.” I felt like such an ass for being an ass to her and I learned that sometimes when I think I’m being clever, I’m really just being mean.

Now here is the part where I speak directly to Michele:

Michele,

Thank you for being my friend all these years even when I’ve been difficult and not very nice. Thank you for forgiving me even when I didn’t have the decency to apologize. Thank you for your generosity, your humor, your sense of style, your taste in music, for making Christmas Eve better every time you spend it with me. Thank you for loving me just as I am.

I am so unbelievably proud of the woman you have become. Life has been so difficult for you lately and you continue to amaze me with your strength. Honestly, I am in awe of your resilience. I love you, I admire you, and look forward to knowing you for the rest of my life.

Your friend,

Not-so-Unknown-to-you Mami

 

I hope you all have a friend that is better than you.

This post is part of a series celebrating friendship. If you missed what Michele had to say about me, you can read it here. Come back next week on Monday and Tuesday for more. Most importantly don’t forget to honor your friends.