Just so you know, no sex involving David Letterman was had in the making of this post and also, I’m sure there are tons of things David Letterman would rather do than have sex with me.
Top 10 Things I’d rather be doing than having sex with David Letterman
10. Spending Letterman’s money.
9. Get a makeover from Paul.
8. Get paid to write the Top 10 Lists.
7. Be tied to a block of concrete and play “Will it Float?”.
6. Have Drew Barrymore flash me her boobies.
5. Pretend to love Julia Roberts.
4. Snort spaghetti through my nose, have it come out my mouth. and call it my Stupid Human Trick.
3. Have sex with Richard Simmons.
2. Ride bitch for Dave.
And the # 1 thing I’d rather do than have sex with David Letterman is
Get groped by Conan O’Brien!
ALSO READ: 11 ‘Shameful’ Things I’m Not Ashamed Of
Drahdrah
said…
That is soooo good ! You should send it in to Letterman !
October 7, 2009 8:18 PM
brainella
said…
I’m not the only non-lover of that Roberts woman?
October 7, 2009 8:20 PM
cinner
said…
Hilarious, well done. take care.
October 7, 2009 8:38 PM
Mrs4444
said…
Oh, MAN, this is awesome. Way too funny!
October 7, 2009 8:44 PM
Pumpkin Delight
said…
I love it! This is great!
October 7, 2009 9:39 PM
Twincerely,Olga
said…
you so bad but you know i love you Mami!!
October 7, 2009 9:42 PM
lisleman
said…
gee poor dave – getting all this free publicity – maybe if I could get someone to blackmail my blog hmm.
October 7, 2009 9:54 PM
Frau
said…
Great list!! Dave is a pig!
October 7, 2009 11:02 PM
Erin
said…
That’s an awesome list! Just think, if you did have sex with DL, you could be spending his money right now! haha
October 7, 2009 11:25 PM
Stacey
said…
Love the Stupid Human Trick. I think it could get you on as a guest. Then maybe you could work at fulfilling numbers 9 & 10.
October 7, 2009 11:31 PM
junebug
said…
Great list. I loved the Conan one.
October 8, 2009 12:14 AM
DysFUNctional Mom
said…
Bowing down to you – fabulous! I love it.
October 8, 2009 1:07 AM
angelcel
said…
I only heard about the Letterman confession the other day – only done
because he had to and I wonder how it made his wife feel to effectively
be publicly humiliated. As you say over there in the States, he’s a
real piece of work.
October 8, 2009 1:34 AM
angelcel
said…
By the way, Woo~hoo! on the new web address. :)Google Reader seems to have already deftly slipped over to the new address (those clever Google-peeps).
October 8, 2009 1:37 AM
Nori D
said…
Hahaha. Love it!! I also dont understand the Julia obsession, but I have
to say, I’m not sure I’d rather have sex with Richard Simmons. Ewww…
Imagine?
October 8, 2009 2:27 AM
Ocean Girl
said…
You are way too funny. Must sell this to Conan. And the picture!And lisleman is funny too. His blog is full of scandals with his bar code and all. LOL.I’m still chuckling and smiling to myself. Oh boy…
October 8, 2009 2:59 AM
The Peach Tart
said…
I bet Dave would love this list.
October 8, 2009 3:27 AM
Life with Kaishon
said…
Super. Duper. FUNNY : )
October 8, 2009 3:39 AM
Little Ms Blogger
said…
You’d rather have sex with Richard Simmons? His shorts scare me.
October 8, 2009 3:51 AM
Kris
said…
Rofl. I love it!!
October 8, 2009 4:18 AM
Betty
said…
LMAO!! This is tooo funny! I agree with the first comment. Send it in to D. Letterman and see what happens! 🙂
October 8, 2009 4:24 AM
Ashlee
said…
LOL! Conan gives me the creeps too! bleegh! I could probably make a list about him too!
October 8, 2009 4:33 AM
The Good Cook
said…
LOVE this post – and you should sent it to Leno!!
October 8, 2009 5:50 AM
Melissa
said…
That is hilarious!!! I think this is one of my favorite posts you have written. Bravo Mami!
October 8, 2009 5:57 AM
Grace Matthews
said…
Ha Ha… I can not stand the gap in his teeth. You could probably have extended the list to top 100…LOL
October 8, 2009 6:20 AM
panamamama
said…
Ha! Great stuff! 🙂
October 8, 2009 6:34 AM
Gibby
said…
ROFL, that is awesome!! And isn’t Conan the best??
October 8, 2009 6:41 AM
Ms. Wanda
said…
You crack me up Mami!!! Love the list:)xoxoMs. Wanda
October 8, 2009 6:43 AM
Cat
said…
My first thought was “I wouldn’t mind getting groped by Conan…” but then that picture you put up ruined it.
October 8, 2009 7:01 AM
Mark
said…
Very funny! Love your wit.
October 8, 2009 7:03 AM
Summer
said…
I just shuddered. Ick….being groped by Conan.Shudder.
October 8, 2009 7:07 AM
The girl with the flour in her hair
said…
You should absolutely be paid to write the top ten list! This was hilarious! The pictures were perfect! But…Richard Simmons? Really? I think I’d have to do Letterman before I’d do Richard. Does Richard even like girls??
October 8, 2009 7:11 AM
Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)
said…
AHAHAHAHAHA! You. Are. Hilarious! 🙂
October 8, 2009 8:28 AM
Joanna Jenkins
said…
Hysterical!!!!! You rocked this one!xo
October 8, 2009 8:28 AM
Tammy Howard
said…
Oh, Mami! Awesome as usual…
October 8, 2009 8:29 AM
L.
said…
Sooooo funny!And congratulations on the move! From the first
time I read your blog I knew you were special and headed for the bigtime
and I believe it now more than ever.
October 8, 2009 9:14 AM
Ms. Lovely
said…
Love it! 🙂 I think I’d rather get groped by Conan too.
October 8, 2009 9:39 AM
JennyMac
said…
hahaha…and love the pic of you riding the motorcycle with him.
October 8, 2009 11:16 AM
blueviolet
said…
That is hilarious and I believe you, I believe you!(but rethink the Richard Simmons thing, k?)
October 8, 2009 11:33 AM
mrs.notouching
said…
Hilarious!
October 8, 2009 1:24 PM
Bruce
said…
#7 was my fave.
October 8, 2009 2:46 PM
latinmomof4punks
said…
LMFAO!!!*Estas bien Loca*”But I Love It”. :0)~Amor, Familia Y Cultura~ Betty
October 8, 2009 3:06 PM
Mom of Three
said…
This was soooo crazy good! WIN! (ding, ding, ding)
October 8, 2009 5:13 PM
One Sassy Girl
said…
Phenomenal post!! And the photoshopping killed me. Well done, Mami!!
October 8, 2009 5:56 PM
Kris
said…
Hey–there will be something on my HHHF blog for you in the morning if you’ll go look!
October 8, 2009 6:12 PM
SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB
said…
you should absolutely send it to letterman! this could be your big break! thanks
for stopping by the crib and the pep talk – what the eff does he know
about blogs anyway? i hate when people -especially him, the loser- make
me second guess myself! you’re the blog diggity mami
October 8, 2009 6:48 PM
badmommymoments
said…
I had a feeling you were hardcore. #3 confirms that. (Better hope he doesn’t try to take you up on that…)
October 9, 2009 5:46 PM
badmommymoments
said…
I had a feeling you were hardcore. #3 confirms that. (Better hope he doesn’t try to take you up on that…)
October 9, 2009 5:46 PM