Do not humiliate your children when potty training. It doesn’t help them, it shames them.#EveryFlush
— Unknown Mami (@UnknownMami) March 11, 2013
I’d like to thank Huggies for sponsoring this post and for including me in a very informative teleconference with Dr. Andres Cotton and Jeanette Kaplun focusing on the topic of potty training.
Dr. Cotton is a well-respected pediatrician with 17 years of experience. Jeanette Kaplun is an award-winning journalist and internationally recognized parenting expert with a heart of gold (I can personally attest to that heart of gold).
I learned a lot about potty training during the teleconference, but what I want to focus on is a point that both Jeanette and Dr. Cotton touched on, not shaming your children during the potty training process. The reason this particular subject struck a chord with me is that a couple of days before the teleconference, I inadvertently shamed my daughter and I soon regretted it.
We are in the process of potty training my youngest, Luna Pie. I say “we” because it is a family affair. Even our 4-year-old is involved in the process. We encourage her and celebrate her potty triumphs. Truth be told, Luna Pie is not that into it. Sometimes when she wants to make us super happy, she’ll ask to go on the potty, but most of the time she prefers her diaper. It’s fine, I’m not trying to rush her or make potty training stressful.
You should know I am not perfect and have been known to make mistakes. For example, I was giving Luna Pie a bath, she was having a great time, I looked away for a moment, and the next thing I know she is calling out to me. I look and she has taken quite possibly the biggest dump I have ever seen in the tub. I love my kids and do my best to take care of them, but I’m not gonna lie, their poop in the bathtub is a total bummer. I pulled her out and hastily went about cleaning the tub so that I could put her back in and wash her off again.
By the time I turned to grab her, as I reached for her, her entire little body just slumped forward, and she started bawling. It was the kind of crying that sounds like hurt feelings, shame, and an achy heart. Even though I hadn’t meant to shame her, the way I reacted, the way I went about cleaning the mess, and the way I left her wet, dripping, and probably cold by the side of the tub made her feel awful and ashamed. I felt terrible and consoled her. When she was feeling better, I explained that I was sorry for making her feel bad. Later she told her father about the experience and said, “Papa, I so sad.” Ouch! Lesson learned.
So remember and remind those involved in the process that when potty training, celebrating every flush is the way to go.
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This is part of a compensated campaign with Latina Mom Bloggers and Pull Ups. However, all opinions expressed are my own.
I think when teaching someone you’re close to something, it’s so easy to be hard on them. The awesome thing is that you learned your lesson.You are a good mama, C. I’ve never potty-trained anyone but I’ve learned from my sister that it’s not easy business, we teach them for a few years to go in their pants and then all of a sudden we want them to stop.
I can still remember the time my younger sister left a floater in the tub. It certainly is a disruptive event to bath time but compared to other locations for a dump to show-up it’s not that bad. I don’t believe all of us make good trainers (I’m lacking in this area) but all of us can set good examples.
Beautiful post, Claudya. It is very natural to rush around to clean up the mess. Show me a Mama who hasn’t and I’ll show you…..never mind. 😀 It is funny how at that moment the obvious – that the baby might have hurt feelings – never strikes us. I admire you for your honesty and it is what makes you a terrific Mama.
I’ve had the poop in tub experience many times and purely because I didn’t trust my son alone, I’ve always cleaned him up first, put him in another tub with toys and then gone about clearing up the mess. I shudder to think about all the things he did in a few seconds of freedom 😀
Ahhh, the poop in the tub experience. Yes, I remember! Xxx