Woe is Me!

I’m feeling like this week is really kicking my butt and it’s only Tuesday.

Really it’s nothing tragic, but it’s all making me feel so damn insecure.

To start off with I can no longer deny the fact that I need to loose weight. I had someone indirectly bring it up in relation to an audition. I hate that my weight matters when it comes to acting and it shouldn’t, but it does. I ended up crying all day about it and I can’t even share the whole story with you because I’ll just cry again.

It’s not like I am unaware of the weight situation. I am 30 lbs heavier than I’ve ever been. It’s time to do something about it, but having it pointed out was soul crushing and made me feel like a helpless child.

Moving on, you probably don’t know that I’m psychic. Stop with the eye-rolling; I’m not bragging. I happen to be a useless psychic. Yes I have psychic moments, but they do me no good.

For example, I dreamt that our car was “broken into”. I use quotes because all I saw in my dream was a man rifling through the things in our car. Well that morning when I went to the car someone had indeed been through our things. I guess my husband forgot to lock it. Ugh! I know it’s just stuff. What bothers me is that we live in a city where you can not accidentally leave your car unlocked once without suffering consequences. It is such an accepted part of city life that when you tell people they respond, “He didn’t lock the car! He should always lock the car!”

No shit, Sherlock! It was a mistake. A little sympathy please.

Then today, I seem to have been fired from my Personal Assistant job. He did it so smoothly though that I’m not really sure. Honestly, there hasn’t been much for me to do lately and I’ve been feeling like moving on too, but it hurts a little.

So you see, I feel like I’ve been kicked in the butt by life and here’s what I’ma gonna do.

I enlisted the help of a friend, who happens to be a personal trainer and she is going to help me get back on track with the exercise. We’re meeting tomorrow for our first joint work-out.

As far as the car goes, it aint no thang as no one was hurt and the car is fine.

In terms of being let go from a job I was ready to let go of, well that’s just the Universe pushing me in the right direction.

All of this is happening because I really need to make some changes and now I have the motivation.

I watch enough PBS to know that “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Thank you, Wayne Dyer; I’ll keep that in mind.