The Flying Chancle Report: Death by Burrito Challenge

Hola Chulas y Chulos! Greetings to you from me and my flying chancla.

Today we came across a crazy challenge that Taco Del Mar in Port Coquitlam, British Columbia has issued for Cinco de Mayo. 

What’s the burrito challenge? 

 

There’s a 5 pound burrito challenge coming to Metro Vancouver! If you can finish this massive burrito in under 30 minutes, it’s free. This challenge is happening ONLY on Cinco de Mayo, and ONLY at Taco del Mar in Port Coquitlam! Holy Guacamole 🥑🌯🥑🌯 Photo by @magmei #dishedvan

A post shared by Dished Vancouver (@dishedvancouver) on May 3, 2018 at 3:16pm PDT

If you can eat one of their 5-lb burritos with ground beef, has to be ground beef, in less than 30 minutes on Cinco de Mayo from 11:00 a.m – 5:00 p.m., then you get the burrito for free! 

ALSO READ: This Hamster Eating Tiny Burritos is FREAKIN’ Hilarious!!!

What if you fail the challenge? 

 

We take on the @tacodelmarportcoquitlam 5lbs #burrito #challenge, in my latest video, on my #youtube channel: MaggiMei. Try it yourself only at the Port Coquitlam Taco Del Mar on Saturday May 5th. #magmeieats #media . . . . . . . . . #food #foodie #foodblogger #foodporn #foodlover #foodlove #instafood #yummy #nomnomnom #eat #eating #instagood #foodstagram #foodinsta #foodgram #vancouver #vaneats #vancityeats #vanfoodie #vancouverfoodie #yvrfood #vcbfood

A post shared by vieamaggi.com (@magmei) on May 1, 2018 at 8:45pm PDT

If you fail to eat the monster burrito in the allotted 30 minutes, then you will pay $30. 

ALSO READ: Mexican Food That Will Get You High

Apparently, this is the 10th year that this Cinco de Mayo challenge has been in existence. 

My chancla and I cannot in good conscience endorse this competition because if you win, you get the burrito for free, but you probably also end up suffering from burrito-induced death or wishing you were dead.

Do you really want your death certificate to list burrito as your cause of death? And think of the newspaper stories! 

In case you are wondering, Taco del Mar in Port Coquitlam describes their burrito as such: 

The 5-Pounder™ is a five‐pound burrito rolled with four tortillas stuffed with rice, beans, ground beef, cheese, pico de gallo, and sauce. It is equivalent to four-and‐a‐half Baja Burritos.

If you are a slow eater with an outsized appetite and want to purchase the 5-pounder, it will cost you $30 for ground beef and $35 for any other proteins. 

Don’t do it, people; it’s not natural. A body cannot take in 5 pounds of food in 30 minutes without some kind of explosive consequences. 

Honestly, the prize for winning should be more than getting the burrito for free. It should maybe include a free ride to the ER, unlimited supply of toilet paper until the burrito is totally out of your system and a soda. 

That’s it for now.I love you mucho and remember, spread love, not chanclazos!