I am not the best housekeeper in the world. My house is not dirty, but it is a beautiful mess. Things may not always be tidy, but they are clean enough and there are other things I’d much rather be doing than continually picking up.
However, there is one constantly invading force that causes me to jump into action and wage a full on cleaning war: Argentine ants!!! They drive me crazy! They show up in the unlikeliest of places like my cleavage where they have been known to suffocate or I will be on the computer when the letters on the screen start acting funny and I think I’m hallucinating only to realize that it is actually an Argentine ant on the move.
How do I know that they are Argentine ants? In case you are wondering, I have not asked to see their passports, nor have I heard them speaking Spanish peppered with “che”. I know they are Argentine ants because my husband told me so and I did some research. These ants were introduced to the U.S. in the 1800’s. They are invasive, resilient, and extraordinarily successful because they form “supercolonies”.
Anyone that knows me, knows that I do not appreciate colonialism, be it from ants or human beings. I am constantly involved in an anti-colonialism revolution with this army of foreign ants. Oh sure, I win many battles, but I am losing the war!
What bothers me the most about these Argentine ants is that in these tough economic times they are taking jobs away from good ol’ American ants.
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I hear that ants will kill one another especially if you bring an ant from a different colony on the premises. So go out to the park or somewhere else that has ants and bring a few home. The wars will erupt but they will kill one another and your problem will be solved.
No, that’s why these ants are so successful. They do not kill ants from other colonies, they incorporate them. That’s how they form “supercolonies”.
That’s hilarious!! Yes, aunts can get anyone moving into action. I find that as long as I keep my kitchen clean, the aunts stay outside the house. However, I don’t know the cultural background of my aunts. 😉 LOL!!
You are the funniest Unknown Mami that I know! (And, your house sounds just like mine.)
Ack.. they would be unpleasant. I’m here to demand (not really) my due credit for the Beautiful Mess. I wrote about Frank’s son declaring his aunt’s home as such. 🙂 I’m glad you like the term. It works, eh? 🙂
http://thesmittenimage.blogspot.com/2010/10/things-like-walk-in-park.html <– this is where it came from.
Oh, I’m so glad you claimed credit because I love the term and have been using it incessantly.
Visit me at: http://www.unknownmami.com.
Gave you credit.
If it has more than 2 legs it is NOT welcomed in my house. Period.
We have 2 Beta fish – no legs – they get to stay.
We had an invasion of red ants – I stood with my vacuum for more than an hour just sucking up those little bastards as they marched in my home (won’t you think one would have looked up and alerted the rest??) Stupid ants.
i remember when we lived in FL the ants were terrible…and overnight would build massive cities…
Ohhhh….you are going to love me for this hint. If you have any idea where they are entering the house, simply sprinkle baby powder under the baseboards, etc. (I have even gone around the ENTIRE outside of my house’s foundation before..it took three containers of powder). Ants won’t cross the baby powder and it wound hurt the little one or any pets if they touch it.
You are welcome 🙂
I’ll be invseting in some baby powder.
well sounds like they have good taste in hiding places(cleavage) lol
I get ants in the summer – I do not know their origins – but they come in looking for water. makes me nuts.
I’m ready to volunteer for your “Ant Party” especially given the promised lodging arrangements. Those ants know where to bivouac. They were probably tired from the all the climbing.
Girl, that is one thing that you COULD demand passports on. lol
We’ve never had Argentinian ants but we get carpenter ants. They’re kind of cute with their little hammers.
Well, the ants we get are great tango dancers, but I still don’t like them.
LOL! Sorry about the ants.. but your post made me laugh.
P.S. I’m with you- NOT the best housekeeper, but usually “clean enough”.
Do Argentine ants thrive in a cold climate? I hope not, so we won’t see there here!
Now I’m going to have to look those up and see how they differ from what’s around here!
Now you’ve got me singing “The Ants Go Marching One by One”. I’ll be interested to see how the baby powder works.
We constantly had ants in CA — hated them — whatever their origin. Now we have ladybugs and stink bugs. Lots of fun!
You know what kills ants? Sugar substitute like Equal. Really! If you look it up, you will see that faux sugar was originally developed as an insecticide. Scary,Huh? We had sugar ants and I powdered up the counter and under the sink with Equal and in a couple of days….gone. No more ants. There is also a mixture of Borax and other stuff that works too.
I just have one word – Internet.
I am so glad that there someone like me that is not the best housekeeper. There are more important things to do, at least that’s how I justify it.
Ants: BE GONE!
Oh Mami ~ You are too funny. Have you called PETA? They might be able to find homes for them.
I hate ants. We have been invaded numerous times and the type we have are notoriously hard to get rid of too. I well remember the day I found a long line of them marching up the leg of my daughter’s highchair and across her arms and chest, while she screamed blue murder.
I am going to have nightmares tonight thanks to you! I hate buggies in my house, and I feel for you. That’s one benefit to living in the cold tundra of Chicago, I suppose! Our bugs go away and aren’t so giant as warm places.
Whenever I get ants, I lay down some Dawn. They won’t cross that either. The baby powder might be better though because once the Dawn gets sticky, they will walk across it, so you constantly have to clean it up and lay down more of it.
for some reason (knock on wood) we haven’t had an ant invasion for a few years. Your house must be very friendly 🙂 (and believe you me, I am not a house cleaner by far, I do the barest of the minimums at best). But we did set a few of those ant type of traps, so who knows, they might be working?
I did enjoy this blog entry though! very cleverly written!
betty
We call them sugar ants. I hate these stupid little things. It is so odd when they show up in say the bathroom. Huh? Whaaa? I guess they like moist areas… or so my pest guy says. These damn things are the #1 reason I will shell out dumb amounts of money (that I do not have) to make sure they stay at bay as much as possible. DAMN things!!!
You feel my pain. They really are just persistent little critters.
Ha ha! I too have been on my computer after leaving it under the bed for the night, and seen teeny tini ants looking all crazy on the screen! Drives me bonkers!!
Dee
When I was in the states we had a lot of ants because of the heat. Now they are not so bad. So all you have to do is move somewhere cold!
That’s hilarious! I really enjoyed this post, and every post of yours, Mami.
Loving your great sense of humour!!
Aww, I think I am a bit weird. It’s hard for me to kill an ant…unless I have an ant invasion.
I’m sure I’ll have nightmares tonight.
Big hugs
B xx
Ants invading the computer screen, hilarious to us but annoying to you. Fortunately it is only flies I get bothered by occasionally on the computer. Ants are the most amazing creatures though!
I’ve had a few experiences with ants. No matter their heritage, an ant is an ant. As in annoying, bothersome, and difficult to get rid of.
We have had many issues with these ants this year. They like to kill our plants from the roots up! Have had a few issues in the house and one thing I really hate is ants!
They don’t come in because the house is dirty, they just come because they can.
Plenty of times I find them in places where there is no food to be had. They just find their way in.
I love the term beautiful mess.. describes my house, my life… 😉
We had ants in Cairo. Here in Casa we have cockroaches but we have good poison what keeps them away. During the day time at least…
I don’t like any kind of crawling or flying bug in my home.
Did I tell you that there are rats in the city center? oh, yes. But also a lot of stray cats. That’s called balance, right? 🙂
I don’t like ants, but rats terrify me.
Like a good ol’ red-blooded American, I believe that ants deserve nothing less than “shock and awe.” We poison outside and inside our house, without shame. I hate those fucking things.
Dude that stinks. I hope you’re able to eradicate the DBs!
Ants in your cleavage?!! Oh no..those have got to go:) Oh and there is nothing wrong with a beauiful mess. That is my everyday!
Bwahaha! Those job stealers! I hope you find a way to distract them…
I can’t say that I’ve ever come across one of those ants – but we have had outbreaks of the darn sugar ants from time to time like when my son left his lunchbox with his lunch still in it – (with sugary jelly) just outside the front door!!! Good luck with your eradication!
This one had me LOL when I read it in my inbox. Ever since I’ve been trying to figure out a witty way to include Evita in my comment….
Well, I am a Mess. Can I be a beautiful mess?
Anyways, I can’t blame any ant, Argentine or otherwise, for wanting to snuggle into your cleavage.
🙂
Traci
You have Argentinian cleavage ants? ahhhhh!!!
Good luck getting rid of them. Revoke their passports, deport them, put them on the next bus.
You made me smile!
What a PAIN! When we get ants, I’m pretty sure they are of the Midwestern variety, but Mr.4444 gets rid of them by spraying something around the outside perimeter of the house. Have you tried that?