It appears I have a hearing problem. The problem is not physiological. My ears are fine, I can perceive sounds correctly, I have not sustained any hearing loss. The problem is psychological; it has more to do with how I interpret the things I hear. Let me provide you with some examples as I’m sure I am not the only one suffering from this disorder.
If my husband says, “Are those new jeans?”
I hear, “Are you spending money on things we can’t afford, you selfish twat?!”
If a friend says, “You look really good today. Fantastic!”
I hear, “You look like crap every other day. Grotesque!”
If my mother says, “Mi’ja perdiste peso? (Mi’ja did you lose weight?)”
I hear, “Gorda! Gorda! Gorda! (Fatso! Fatso! Fatso!)”
If a co-worker says, “That was a great idea.”
I hear, “I had no idea you even had a brain.”
If someone says, “You are hilarious!”
I just thank them because I’m not crazy and the truth is, I can be quite funny.
Suffering from what can only be described as Hypercritical Unsubstantiated Self-destructive Hearing or HUSH can be a very isolating condition. If you suffer from HUSH, know that you are not alone, that there are others like you.
Also, be aware that this affliction need not be permanent. Before you pick a fight with your significant other, or stomp off in a huff from some unsuspecting well-wisher, remind yourself that sometimes a person says exactly what they mean.
Eva Gallant says
That was excellent! Very clever! We all suffer from hush some of the time!
MommyLisa says
Thank you for revealing the disease. Now we need a support group and a twitter hashtag.
MiMi says
Hey, I have the same problem!! WEIRD!!!
Sujeiry, 1st Lady of Love says
This was a great post! Love your sarcasm 🙂
Lisa @NewYorkChica says
I think all women suffer from HUSH! LOL
Anonymous says
It’s nice to know that I’m not alone. I sure wish there was a way to cure it! Thanks for sharing – wonderful post! (And I really mean it!)
Monkey Man says
Sounds like a self esteem issue. I do that myself.
unknownmami says
You don’t beat around the bush.
lisleman says
“a person says exactly what they mean.” I believe that only applies to the male gender.
I don’t have HUSH but I am a pro – and posted about that today. What’s going on? Everyone revealing they issues.
Here’s an educational clip about the “rules” (maybe someone in your life is not following the rules)
http://youtu.be/-oPj9JErXXM
Jeanie says
I was just recently thinking about how sad it is that as old as I am I still am not very good at taking a compliment. Hopefully being aware that I have a named disorder will get me on the road to a cure.
Thebipolardiva says
I am SO with you on those! Especially “Are those new Jeans?”
Hilary says
Very funny.. yes you sure are. HUSH.. now I know what it’s called. I always thought it was simply Stinkin’ Thinkin’
blueviolet says
Oh boy, I hear things the same way you do!
Yvonneinla says
Ha! I have that! I almost always hear Gorda!!
Lisa @ Advent's Adventures says
What?!?! Are you telling me I’m crazy and FAT!?!? Oh! How could you??? I love this blog!!!!
OH! SORRY! I thought you said, I was crazy and fat…NO! just suffering from a terrible illness of Hush…well, that doesn’t seem so bad. and I have lost weight…Thanks!
Cyndy DysFUNctional Mom says
You are brilliant! Finally, a name for this thing I’ve suffered with for so long.
Classic NYer says
Yeah, and sometimes they’re snickering behind your back and plotting your demise…
You know, I’m starting to think I have that disease as well…
Gran says
Ha! Never knew my affliction had a name. Thanks!
Catalina says
LOL!!…and no, I don’t think you are crazy. I <3 your intelligent humor. (Translation: I love your sense of humor and I think you are smart!)
del says
This gives me peace – there is a name for what I seem to suffer from.
Of course when I speak, I speak only the truth so when I say that you are awesome, it really means you are awesome!
Anonymous says
I suffer too….love that I’m not alone!
Out on the prairie says
We all need to be more open to others comments. Perhaps they are thinking about something else as well, hopefully really nice.
Cricket says
Honey… I didn’t know you had a blog… and when did you learn Spanish?
Oh, wait… I thought you were my wife there for a second. 😉
Thanks for the morning laugh and congratulations on your potw.
Suldog says
MY WIFE has the same affliction. She’ll ask me what I think of her in a new outfit. I say, “You look swell!” She says, “So, you’re saying I look fat and swollen?”
Lady Fi says
LOL! Great post, says she not daring to write anymore… 😉
PhotoPuddle says
Urgh, I think I have this problem too. I have fairly recently lost a bit of weight and when people say “Hey, you look great” all I hear is “Wow, you used to be so fat!” even thought they’ve all reassured me I wasn’t actually fat before!
Ahorros Con Cupones says
LOL, Happy I am not alone on this!
TechnoBabe . says
It goes to the trust issue, in many cases anyway. Since I did not trust others, I did not believe they would be truly honest, so it was necessary to question what they said.
By the way, I do like your humor. And I really do mean it.
Anonymous says
That is so funny! I do like your advice, sometimes they do tell the truth, we just have to listen.
Anonymous says
Oh man I suffer from this one. I have a serious affliction.
tracismixedbag says
OMG. This IS a real affliction right? It is in my house. I SUFFER! I really do. And yes, you are hilarious and you have great hair.