I am trying to find a cute and witty way to write about this, but it’s not coming so I’m just gonna be straightforward.
We have two daughters. Two beautiful, challenging, engaging, wonderful, and exhausting daughters. We love our daughters, we are thrilled to have them. We are in no way disappointed.
Why am I announcing this? Because I can’t tell you how many people seem to assume that when we had our second daughter, what we really wanted was a boy. They give us a little shrug as if to say, “oh well.” Some even go so far as to ask, “Are you going to keep trying for a boy?”
I’m not knocking boys. I love boys. In all honesty, before we had our first daughter I was kinda sorta hoping for a boy. Not because I think boys are better, but because I was afraid to have a girl. I was once a girl-child and my childhood was not easy. How could I possibly want a girl when I know how difficult life can be for a girl, a girl like me at least? I thought that if I had a boy-child things might be easier for him.
Well, we had a girl and I fell in love and out of fear. My childhood is not her childhood. She does not have to suffer the way I did or doubt or feel constrained.
When we decided to have a second child, we both wanted another girl. A boy would have been fine, we would have loved that boy just as much, but when we would lay in bed at night talking we would admit that we’d rather have a girl.
Everyone seemed to think our second would be a boy. Even we thought we would have a boy. The baby was crafty and kept hiding its naughty bits whenever we had an ultrasound, but soon enough we found out we were having another girl. And we were thrilled!
As terrified as I was of having a daughter the first time around, I am now aware that having two girls is perfect for us. My fears were based on my childhood, but my daughters are not me. I am so excited to have the opportunity to raise two girls because I believe in them so much. I believe in their strength and intelligence. I believe in their worth. I believe that they will grow up to be amazing women.
So never assume that a parent with two girls (or two boys), really wanted one of each because WE ARE NOT DISAPPOINTED.
Yay! Glad to hear you say this. My cousin (with two girls) gets that all the time too! Drives her, and me, nuts!
It looks like you have two girls who are already developing a great relationship as sisters.
I wanted my second to be a girl and I was disapointed when I first found out but now I wouldn’t change it for the world. My two boys are a house on fire.
As long as they don’t set your house on fire.
sisters
sisters
nothing wrong with a pair of sisters.
(Calls for getting the White Christmas movie for the gals)
d=^))
This may not have been cute & witty but it was powerful and beautiful. I can just feel our love through your words. I wish people weren’t so insensitive!
Um, YOUR love. For your daughters.
OUR love, that’s something else entirely. 😉
What a beautiful photo. I know what you mean. I had two boys, and kept getting the “oh well” and “are you going to try again” comments. I think, having lived through it, that same sex siblings are the best; they are there for each other; they are each other’s best friends…now they are 37 and 39 and I’ve never had 1 regret! And I’m sure you won’t either.
OMG, Mami. People are so ridiculous! I am always asked if I want to try for a boy (hell no, I’m not trying for anything!) or if I was disappointed not to have b/g twins. And my friends with b/g twins are always told (not asked) that since they have one of each they are done. I find assumption making to be one of the most unattractive qualities in a person. I could list all the reasons why but that would be boring. And long. And I gotta run. 🙂 I’m so happy we both have two girls. It’s just a beautiful thing!
That picture is adorable! Girls rock. I kept having sons and I wanted girls SO badly, now I have three. But the boys still rule, out of all of our grand kids I only have three granddaughters, well, one’s technically a girl, but she’s all boy. Girls are awesome!
I know Mami. Your story is 100% mine, exact and opposite.
As a mom of two boys, I know where you’re coming from. You two adorable little angels there. Big sigh!
My donation to the process has always produced girls. All girls, all boys, or some combination what’s the issue? You and every parent should just want healthy children to love and nourish.
Your post did bring up one future possibility that scares me. If medical world starts to offer gender selection to families, I think it will be a disaster. That is a choice that should not be offered.
All the best to your whole family.
Oh, they are beautiful!
A old family friend had boy after boy trying to get their girl. Six kids later, boys – 6, girls – 0. You just have to be happy with what you have right? You are blessed!
Six boys??? Oh. My. God. Duck and cover…
I can’t believe that people say stuff like that, it is just so rude. Your girls are gorgeous!
I really like your candor. And your two daughters looked fabulous in that picture. A very precious photo. Wow, I’m surprised people would say that to you. I’m not a parent so I can’t imagine that. Girls or boys, its a baby. On a side note just wait until the girls are teenagers…I’m looking forward to those posts. The majority of my friends have girls, a few boys, but mostly girls and varying aging so I get a lot of shall we say “interesting” phone calls.
I know the feeling well, Mami. People feel sorry for you when you have a second one of the same gender. And it can continue. We have four girls, all treasures, but people commiserate, the absence of sons, as of somehow we’ve had it second best.
There’s truth in the saying that once babies are born their gender fades into insignificance, as long as they’re healthy.
Good for you! How flipping beautiful are your girls. This picture is absolutely precious. I have missed visiting you here…I hope you and yours have been well and that life is treating you good. Blessings to you and your sweet family. XX
Sending love right back at ya!
I have 3 kids. The first two are a girl and a boy. The baby is also a boy. When I was telling people I was pregnant with #3, I would always get: “Why are you having another one? You already have one of each”. Some people need to learn to keep their mouths shut. Congrats to you on being happy with both your girls! Sadly, not many are. A close friend of mine was furious when she learned her second child was another girl…
Your girls are so beautiful….I come from a family of girls so when I was pregnant I secretly wanted a girl.
As long as the baby is healthy, nothing else matters.
A friend of mine has 6 daughters. The very first thing people ask her is “Will you ever try for a boy?” It drives her nuts!
Your daughters are precious. I understand what you’re saying. How about an update on baby girl? Her kidney situation.
You must be a mind reader because I’m working on an update post. Thank you for asking.
What a beautiful piece. Having a child is the best feeling and when people assume that you want one gender over the other is just ridiculus. Right now all I pray for is for our little one to be healthy and strong :). I can’t wait for the first scan.
Your girls are so beautiful together :).
I am so excited for you.
People always ask the boy or girl question don’t they? People always tell me, that’s nice you don’t have to have anymore since you have your boy and girl. What? If I want to have more I will, if I would have had two boys that would of felt just as amazing!, and if I don’t have anymore it’s not because I already have a boy and girl! This has always bothered me…and one of the reasons I decided not to find out what we were having during my pregnancy’s. Either way I knew we would love baby just the same.
Just like you do, just like every mom I hope does.
2 Boys here – wouldn’t change a thing and if I were to get pregnant again…. I would want another boy 🙂
People should just hush up!
I completely understand this! I am the eldest of 3 girls. And people always asked my Dad if he wanted a boy. He always said he loved his 3 girls. I know have 2 girls (5 and 11months) and people ask my husband all the time if he wants to try for a boy. Just like my Dad he always says he loves his 2 girls. Great topic, may have to write a blog post about this too. With credit to you of course!
I’d love to read your post about it. Do it!
I think it’s so stupid when people do that. Why on earth would you be disappointed???
We have two boys and we got the exact opposite. You are meant to have what you have and we are perfectly content with two boys.
People do this crap to me all the time…oh, you’re gonna try for a third so that it will be a girl, right? Frustrating.
Excellent post. Happy healthy children are all that matter. Just love the picture.
Oh my gosh they are just beautiful!!! I agree, people totally ask me that all the time, especially since I have 3 girls. How could someone be dissapointed??? I too thought of having a boy first go round but then once you have a daughter the thought of having another so that they will be sisters is an awesome thing!!!
Your girls are adorable.
Before having kids I wanted a boy and a girl. I had a boy first and when I became pregnant again secretly hoped for a boy again, based on the theory that I still had no idea what I was doing, but I had a little more clue about baby boys. Of course I had a girl and realised that it wasn’t that much different. Each child is unique and wonderful and you don’t need a set to feel complete.
Such a beautiful pic. of your girls! We LOVE having two daughters as well.
Aww! Just look at big sis and little sis!
As a mother of two daughters I totally empathise with you.
My two daughters fought when they were kids like most do but they are so close now!
Beautiful. You have a perfect family. I re-entered therapy, way back when, because of irrational fear that I wouldn’t know how to parent a little girl. I had so many fears, but it didn’t take long to come to the same understanding; we are destined to repeat patterns only when we don’t recognize them. Obviously, I had nothing to worry about, nor do you. Yea, GIRLS! 🙂
I am a proud mamma of two girls as well. Wouldn’t have it any other way! (But if it HAD been another way, I would be just as proud!) Kids are kids, and they are YOURS. Why in the world does anyone else care??
1st, what an adorable picture! 2nd, I totally agree. We had two boys and I wanted nothing BUT boys, and that is what I got but time and time again we always hear “So will you be trying to get that little girl?” Ahhhh Nope, we’re done!
So glad you have two adorable perfect little girls in your life!