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By Claudya

Funny San Francisco Latina Blogger

April 26, 2011 Claudya Martinez

HUSH

It appears I have a hearing problem. The problem is not physiological. My ears are fine, I can perceive sounds correctly, I have not sustained any hearing loss. The problem is psychological; it has more to do with how I interpret the things I hear. Let me provide you with some examples as I’m sure I am not the only one suffering from this disorder.

If my husband says, “Are those new jeans?”
I hear, “Are you spending money on things we can’t afford, you selfish twat?!”

If a friend says, “You look really good today. Fantastic!”
I hear, “You look like crap every other day. Grotesque!”

If my mother says, “Mi’ja perdiste peso? (Mi’ja did you lose weight?)”
I hear, “Gorda! Gorda! Gorda! (Fatso! Fatso! Fatso!)”

If a co-worker says, “That was a great idea.”
I hear, “I had no idea you even had a brain.”

If someone says, “You are hilarious!”
I just thank them because I’m not crazy and the truth is, I can be quite funny.

Suffering from what can only be described as Hypercritical Unsubstantiated Self-destructive Hearing or HUSH can be a very isolating condition. If you suffer from HUSH, know that you are not alone, that there are others like you.

Also, be aware that this affliction need not be permanent. Before you pick a fight with your significant other, or stomp off in a huff from some unsuspecting well-wisher, remind yourself that sometimes a person says exactly what they mean.

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Filed Under: Humor

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Comments

  1. Eva Gallant says

    April 26, 2011 at 9:59 pm

    That was excellent! Very clever! We all suffer from hush some of the time!

    Reply
  2. blankMommyLisa says

    April 26, 2011 at 10:07 pm

    Thank you for revealing the disease. Now we need a support group and a twitter hashtag.

    Reply
  3. blankMiMi says

    April 26, 2011 at 10:07 pm

    Hey, I have the same problem!! WEIRD!!!

    Reply
  4. blankSujeiry, 1st Lady of Love says

    April 26, 2011 at 10:27 pm

    This was a great post! Love your sarcasm 🙂

    Reply
  5. blankLisa @NewYorkChica says

    April 26, 2011 at 10:38 pm

    I think all women suffer from HUSH! LOL

    Reply
  6. blankAnonymous says

    April 26, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    It’s nice to know that I’m not alone. I sure wish there was a way to cure it! Thanks for sharing – wonderful post! (And I really mean it!)

    Reply
  7. blankMonkey Man says

    April 26, 2011 at 11:05 pm

    Sounds like a self esteem issue. I do that myself.

    Reply
    • blankunknownmami says

      April 26, 2011 at 11:25 pm

      You don’t beat around the bush.

      Reply
  8. blanklisleman says

    April 26, 2011 at 11:05 pm

    “a person says exactly what they mean.” I believe that only applies to the male gender.
    I don’t have HUSH but I am a pro – and posted about that today. What’s going on? Everyone revealing they issues.
    Here’s an educational clip about the “rules” (maybe someone in your life is not following the rules)
    http://youtu.be/-oPj9JErXXM

    Reply
  9. blankJeanie says

    April 26, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    I was just recently thinking about how sad it is that as old as I am I still am not very good at taking a compliment. Hopefully being aware that I have a named disorder will get me on the road to a cure.

    Reply
  10. blankThebipolardiva says

    April 26, 2011 at 11:22 pm

    I am SO with you on those! Especially “Are those new Jeans?”

    Reply
  11. blankHilary says

    April 27, 2011 at 12:04 am

    Very funny.. yes you sure are. HUSH.. now I know what it’s called. I always thought it was simply Stinkin’ Thinkin’

    Reply
  12. blankblueviolet says

    April 27, 2011 at 12:18 am

    Oh boy, I hear things the same way you do!

    Reply
  13. blankYvonneinla says

    April 27, 2011 at 12:24 am

    Ha! I have that! I almost always hear Gorda!!

    Reply
  14. blankLisa @ Advent's Adventures says

    April 27, 2011 at 2:03 am

    What?!?! Are you telling me I’m crazy and FAT!?!? Oh! How could you??? I love this blog!!!!

    OH! SORRY! I thought you said, I was crazy and fat…NO! just suffering from a terrible illness of Hush…well, that doesn’t seem so bad. and I have lost weight…Thanks!

    Reply
  15. blankCyndy DysFUNctional Mom says

    April 27, 2011 at 2:09 am

    You are brilliant! Finally, a name for this thing I’ve suffered with for so long.

    Reply
  16. blankClassic NYer says

    April 27, 2011 at 2:17 am

    Yeah, and sometimes they’re snickering behind your back and plotting your demise…

    You know, I’m starting to think I have that disease as well…

    Reply
  17. blankGran says

    April 26, 2011 at 9:53 pm

    Ha! Never knew my affliction had a name. Thanks!

    Reply
  18. blankCatalina says

    April 26, 2011 at 10:05 pm

    LOL!!…and no, I don’t think you are crazy. I <3 your intelligent humor. (Translation: I love your sense of humor and I think you are smart!)

    Reply
  19. blankdel says

    April 27, 2011 at 6:20 am

    This gives me peace – there is a name for what I seem to suffer from.
    Of course when I speak, I speak only the truth so when I say that you are awesome, it really means you are awesome!

    Reply
  20. blankAnonymous says

    April 27, 2011 at 11:54 am

    I suffer too….love that I’m not alone!

    Reply
  21. blankOut on the prairie says

    April 27, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    We all need to be more open to others comments. Perhaps they are thinking about something else as well, hopefully really nice.

    Reply
  22. blankCricket says

    April 27, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    Honey… I didn’t know you had a blog… and when did you learn Spanish?

    Oh, wait… I thought you were my wife there for a second. 😉

    Thanks for the morning laugh and congratulations on your potw.

    Reply
  23. blankSuldog says

    April 27, 2011 at 4:52 pm

    MY WIFE has the same affliction. She’ll ask me what I think of her in a new outfit. I say, “You look swell!” She says, “So, you’re saying I look fat and swollen?”

    Reply
  24. blankLady Fi says

    April 27, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    LOL! Great post, says she not daring to write anymore… 😉

    Reply
  25. blankPhotoPuddle says

    April 27, 2011 at 8:54 pm

    Urgh, I think I have this problem too. I have fairly recently lost a bit of weight and when people say “Hey, you look great” all I hear is “Wow, you used to be so fat!” even thought they’ve all reassured me I wasn’t actually fat before!

    Reply
  26. blankAhorros Con Cupones says

    April 27, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    LOL, Happy I am not alone on this!

    Reply
  27. blankTechnoBabe . says

    April 27, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    It goes to the trust issue, in many cases anyway. Since I did not trust others, I did not believe they would be truly honest, so it was necessary to question what they said.

    By the way, I do like your humor. And I really do mean it.

    Reply
  28. blankAnonymous says

    April 28, 2011 at 10:42 pm

    That is so funny! I do like your advice, sometimes they do tell the truth, we just have to listen.

    Reply
  29. blankAnonymous says

    April 29, 2011 at 7:48 am

    Oh man I suffer from this one. I have a serious affliction.

    Reply
  30. blanktracismixedbag says

    May 2, 2011 at 6:03 am

    OMG. This IS a real affliction right? It is in my house. I SUFFER! I really do. And yes, you are hilarious and you have great hair.

    Reply

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blankWelcome, I am your host Claudya Martinez. I'm a bilingual Latina raising multicultural kids in San Francisco. WARNING: I have a sense of humor that I'm not afraid to use. Hang out, stay un poco and let's get to know each other. Read More…

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