Right around the time I turned 11, I really liked soda and I really wanted my period. Logically, I decided to give up soda and in exchange ask God to give me my period.
Let me tell you, giving up soda for 5 weeks in the summer when it could get upwards of 100 degrees and you happened to be a sugar and caffeine addicted pre-teen was not easy. I used to dream of soda and taste it in my sleep. I would wake up in a cold sweat thinking I had broken my end of the deal.
Somehow, I did it! I went 5 weeks without soda. On the morning that it was all over I did not have my period, but I did have soda for breakfast. As disappointed as I was, I could not share it with anyone because I had been too embarrassed to tell anyone why I had given up soda.
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A few days later I went to the bathroom to pee and I noticed that my underwear had some weird stain on it. Hmm. I took them off and threw them away. The next time I went to the bathroom there was that weird stain again. I threw away a second pair of stained chonies. Then I called my mom who was at work and told her I thought I had gotten my period.
I had gotten my period and it all felt sort of anticlimactic. There was no party or mariachi playing Las Mañanitas for me and I felt bloated and uncomfortable.
The worst part was that it was so hot and I couldn’t go swimming, so instead I sat by the pool and drank 5 weeks worth of missed sodas.
The moral of the story: Be careful what you give up soda for because you just might get it.
Image via vox_efx/Flickr
Anonymous says
Oh my!! Very funny!!
Anonymous says
Oh and I voted!
Gran says
I voted for you! Sorry I’ve not been around, I’m doing some blogging switcheroo’s, very busy, etc. Great post!
sunshine says
That is too funny!
Kimberly says
Ha ha ha! I’m not sure what I think is funnier – you wanting your period at 11 or the drinking 5 weeks worth of sode afterwards. Cute story.
Rebecca says
I’ve tried giving up soda in exchange for losing about 30 pounds. I didn’t lose the weight after about 3 months so I just gave up. Soda is good for me…it keeps me from eating candy and chocolate and chips.
Mercedes S. says
Cute!
Presley's Pantry says
This title made me laugh so hard. 🙂 Cute story…. I just voted as well.
brainella says
If I give up soda will my period go away?
unknownmami says
It’s worth a shot.
brainella says
I’m on it!
Eva Gallant says
Silly girl, asking God to give you your period! I asked God for years to take it away before he finally did! lol
unknownmami says
I was young and misguided. What can I say?
Anonymous says
LMAO – This was funny. Oh I remember how I longed to get my period. Now that I’ve had it for decades, it’s so overrated.
Sheila Burke says
lol! Hmmmm I gave up soda about 4 years ago. But I drink lemonade. I wonder if I gave that up if I could go into menopause. Just sayin.
Anonymous says
I gave up soda once with a promise it would make me feel better and help my skin look better all it did was make me bitchy!
The Bipolar Diva says
going to vote now! And to think I made the doctor yank everything out so mine would stop!
Lisa Perez says
LOL. That’s so true! Be careful what you wish for! Great story!
Jeanie says
I guess my deal was that I’ll get old if I can stop having periods…..it worked.
Anonymous says
I gave up soda about 10 years ago to lose weight. It didn’t work for that one! I enjoyed your story.
Bren @ FlanboyantEats™ says
too, too funny! I love it. And i’m not even a soda drinker. at all. i probably quit when I was 12 or so! ha. I should have asked for something in exchange! LOL!
unknownmami says
I rarely drink soda now, but it’s too late I already have my period.
Davidwaters005 says
I always thought most girls asked not to get their period? You always make me laugh and this was no acception…heartwarming, funny another great post.
and from now on I wont give up soda for anything…lol
lisleman says
Very enlightening bit of info. Is this practice common?
Why don’t pre-teens and teens give up something that would benefit the whole family such as complaining, disgusting facial expressions, of skipping house work?
Sujeiry, 1st Lady of Love says
Hahaha! This cracked me up and really reminded me of how naive we are as kids. I also had a flashback about when I got my period. Ouch! Great story 🙂
The Wise Latina Club says
Chica, I cackled, guffawed. Your humor is wicked b.c it’s cloaked under a very unassuming and laid back tone. And, yes, I’ve been voting every day!
Mrs4444 says
I read Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret about 40 times. My two best friends had their periods LONG before I did. The day it finally arrived, I felt ripped off–“THIS is what I’ve been wishing for?! Ugh.”
From Tracie says
HAHAHA! oh my gosh, SO funny!!
I remember wanting my period to come so badly when I was that age.
Cyndy DysFUNctional Mom says
You are so funny! I can’t give up my soda EVER now, I might have extra periods!! =D
Anonymous says
Hahaha! Great story. I gave up soda recently in attempts to lose weight and all I got was a big headache. PS I dream about soda too. I’m hoping tonight I’ll be visited by the Dr. Pepper fairy and all my cravings will go away…
Bonnie from Sweet Life says
very true, be careful what you wish for!! lol
Bonnie from Sweet Life says
voted
MommyLisa says
Bwahahaha – LOVE this. I gave up soda for good about three years ago. Lately, now that I am out of work…I am craving a diet coke. Its awful.
rachel says
hahah, i was 11 too.
TechnoBabe . says
You were lucky to wait till age eleven though. It sounds like you had money growing up: You had soda available; you threw away clothes; you didn’t have a part time job. Ha.
unknownmami says
Oh boy, the response to your comment could be a post in itself. We did not have much money at all. At the time we lived in a modest 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom house with a pool. Sounds good, but there were 13 of us living in it. In the summer when the kids were out of school, all the adults except one aunt would go to work. The aunt that was in charge of the kids would have us clean and scour the house every day. You had to clean every day when there are that many people living in one place.
My family has many flaws, but they never gave me the impression that we were poor. I threw my period stained underwear away because that was preferable than having to explain why there were stained. Someone would notice if I hand washed them and ask me about it.
My mother has always had a gift for creating abundance even without money. She loves clothes and could always find clothes for next to nothing (I inherited the love and gift as well). Where food was concerned, I never went hungry. We didn’t eat out, but there was always food in the house. My family works hard and knows how to hustle. The basics were covered. Indulgences like soda were bought in bulk and doled out.
That living situation did not last long because there was some kind of mortgage fraud going on in the 80’s and we were a casualty of it. We lost the house and moved into an apartment. By the time we moved into an apartment it was just my brother, mother, a cousin, and me.
I did not know that we were poor. I just new that I couldn’t ask for things, but I was happy to get what I got. It wasn’t until I took an applied government class in junior high and our teacher told us what the current poverty line was that I sat down and did the math. That evening my mother came home to find me crying and when she asked why I told her it was because we were below the poverty line. She just laughed and told me that it didn’t change anything, that we had been that way for a long time and that we had everything we needed. And we did.
Visit me at: http://www.unknownmami.com.
Melissa Davenport says
Periods are stupid like that.
Myya Saad says
That is hilarious. Isn’t it funny how badly we wanted to “start” then once we did we would LOVE to make it go away. Same with shaving. Geesh!
Martha says
Great story! I remember getting my period being anti-climatic too. I dreaded that day for my teen, but it too undramatic. I guess it’s only in the movies that girls screech and scream!
Jai Mami's Time Out says
That is the funniest story ever! I am also addicted to the caffeine and soda is my morning coffee. Hmmm maybe if I give up diet soda for 5 weeks I can lose 15 pounds? But I can’t go more than two days. I need some willpower!