Right around the time I turned 11, I really liked soda and I really wanted my period. Logically, I decided to give up soda and in exchange ask God to give me my period.
Let me tell you, giving up soda for 5 weeks in the summer when it could get upwards of 100 degrees and you happened to be a sugar and caffeine addicted pre-teen was not easy. I used to dream of soda and taste it in my sleep. I would wake up in a cold sweat thinking I had broken my end of the deal.
Somehow, I did it! I went 5 weeks without soda. On the morning that it was all over I did not have my period, but I did have soda for breakfast. As disappointed as I was, I could not share it with anyone because I had been too embarrassed to tell anyone why I had given up soda.
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A few days later I went to the bathroom to pee and I noticed that my underwear had some weird stain on it. Hmm. I took them off and threw them away. The next time I went to the bathroom there was that weird stain again. I threw away a second pair of stained chonies. Then I called my mom who was at work and told her I thought I had gotten my period.
I had gotten my period and it all felt sort of anticlimactic. There was no party or mariachi playing Las Mañanitas for me and I felt bloated and uncomfortable.
The worst part was that it was so hot and I couldn’t go swimming, so instead I sat by the pool and drank 5 weeks worth of missed sodas.
The moral of the story: Be careful what you give up soda for because you just might get it.
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