Before I started breeding, I thought that parents who kissed their kids on the lips were some kind of gross and clearly had no boundaries because ICK!
I grew up in a big extended Latino family and there was a lot of forced kissing of relatives going on, but none of it was on the lips. I didn’t even kiss my own mother on the lips and I don’t remember ever having a desire to do so. As a child, as far as I was concerned kissing on the lips was something that only happened on telenovelas A LOT.
My first born came into this world in 2008 and from the second she was born her father and I covered her in kisses, but we NEVER kissed her on the lips as a newborn because no newborn needs to be exposed to those kinds of germs (too dangerous) and quite honestly we weren’t into kissing her slobbery mouth.
When she got old enough to give out kisses for herself I am not even kidding you that she absolutely demanded to kiss us on the lips. We would try to turn our faces and she wasn’t having it, she kept repositioning herself to get at her target. We could have fought it, but we didn’t.
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When number two came around, the same thing happened. We didn’t start off kissing her on the lips, but as soon as she could pucker up, she started going for our lips and we let her.
Why am I even bothering you with these kissing tales? Because I read this post on Yahoo Parenting about whether you should kiss your kids on the lips and I can’t believe this is even a freakin’ issue.
For crying out loud if you don’t want to kiss your kids on the lips, then don’t, but don’t try to make me feel like some kind of a perv because I do (says the woman who used to totally judge parents who kissed their kids on the lips before she started doing it).
Look, I don’t force my kids to kiss anyone like I was forced to, that’s for them to decide. If they want to kiss someone I’m fine with it and they know not to kiss anyone else on the lips other than us. The thing about kids is that they are children NOT idiots, you can actually have conversations with them at a pretty young age and explain the dos and don’ts of kissing and touching.
I don’t envision myself kissing my kids on the lips when they are in their 20s or even in their teens. I pretty much leave the lip kissing up to them. I never go in for a kiss on the lips with them, but if they do it to me I don’t turn my face unless I’m sick.
At 4 and almost 7 years old my daughters are going in for the pout pecks a lot less and I imagine pretty soon those kinds of lip smacks will peter out so I’m not too worried about it, but of course the question arises of when do you stop kissing your child on the lips and of course there’s always an expert around to give you their expert opinion.
Dr. Charlotte Reznick is an expert quoted by The Stir years ago as saying, “As a child gets to 4 or 5 or 6 and their sexual awareness comes about (and some kids have an awareness earlier — as when we notice they start masturbating at 2 or 3 sometimes — they just discover their private parts and it feels good), the kiss on the lips can be stimulating to them.”
What makes Reznick an expert is that she is the author of “The Power of Your Child’s Imagination: How to Transform Stress and Anxiety Into Joy and Success” and an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology at UCLA. I am not discounting her qualifications, but SERIOUSLY? You want me to worry about my child being stimulated in what kind of way because of a quick peck on the lips? That’s a whole lot of sexualization of an act they’ve been doing since being tiny. I just don’t buy it.
Reznick goes on to explain, “Even if that never occurs to a child, it´s just too confusing! If mommy kisses daddy on the mouth and vice versa, what does that mean when I, a little girl or boy, kiss my parent on the mouth?” Again, SERIOUSLY?! I hug my husband, does that mean I should stop hugging my kids so they don’t get confused about what it means. I think not. Once again, kids are children NOT idiots.
So my non-expert opinion on whether you should kiss your kids on the lips or not is: If you are okay with it and they are okay with it then yes. If you feel weird about it or they do, then no. Sheesh!
What do you think?
All I can say it that when I see my son (36) we always have a light kiss on the lips. My daughter too but because I see her daily we don’t necessarily do that. When I see my dad in Florida who is turning 92 this month you can be sure that we will kiss on the lips! We are not making out, it is a simple kiss of love between parents and their children.
I like your attitude.
I kiss my girls in the lips, the other day my oldest was mad at me and she didn’t give my my “good night piquito” and I thought she felt she was old enough for no more kiss in the lips. But she didn’t do it because she was mad. She is 10, and I’ll kiss her until she says no more. Oh and they only give piquitos to me and my husband, nobody outside. And we don’t want to force them to kiss, hug or shake hands with anybody, and we already talked to them about not doing it if they don’t want, and if something make them feel uncomfortable, they should say NO.
I never kissed my parents or kids on the lips and they didn’t try to kiss me on mine, but I definitely don’t think it’s weird to do so. My grandson has insisted on kissing me on the lips before and I didn’t mind at all. I don’t understand all the ruckus about it.