Some people have real difficulties when it comes to saying no. The weight of the word seems to be more than they can handle, so instead they burden themselves with the unwanted tasks that come from saying yes.
At what point in life does saying no become difficult? I know for a fact that we are not born with this inability, that we don’t have to be taught to say no, that no comes trippingly off the tongue until it doesn’t.
I know that we all have an innate ability to say no without guilt and simply because we don’t want to. How do I know this? Because my daughters have shown me time and time again that they have no problem saying no. My youngest is particularly good at saying no. She repeats it and varies the intonation. And you know what? I love her no less for being able to say no.
Listen to this recording. Listen to how “no” doesn’t sound horrible, how it doesn’t mean anything other than I don’t want to do what you want me to do.
These were the cutest “no’s” ever. I was fascinated with her sweet voice.
Those girls have such beautiful hair!!! Also, I like that sometimes saying no is saying yes to yourself.
Darling photo! Can you believe it? I was just reading another post on saying No! Great people think alike, eh?
I am loving the photo of the girls so much! Reminds me of one of Vidur’s I’m going to find it from the hundreds of physical albums from my pre-digital days. I really ought to scan ’em all.
Saying ‘no’ in different tones.. LOL that’s really cute, wasgrinning to the cute ‘no’ sounds.. I am guilty of this hard-to-say-no especially to my parents and aunts/uncles, those older than me, just often feeling obliged to comply.. to the extent that I realize there are a few amongst them who’s great at taking advantage of this weaknesses of mine, hmmm…
– Mamatim –
Such a sweet recording, and a well written reminder…
Maybe my problem is that I just don’t sound that cute!
My son is just now learning to say no, so now it’s one of his favorite words! Of course, I have a very hard time saying no to him because he’s just so cute:)
What a cute little voice! I am trying so hard to be mindful of this these days –> “saying no to someone else at times is really saying YES to yourself.” Thank you for the reminder!
Loving the curls on those heads! 😀 And the little recording was so sweet! Oh boy, I’ve struggled with saying No to people my whole life… It is something I’m learning to do without feeling guilty. I like how you said “saying no to someone at times is really saying YES to yourself” such a great reminder. 😀
Your girls are so adorable and I too love those curls!!!
I think I must be a mixed up gal because I can say no very easily on some days, and I just can’t seem to get it out on others. I think within my house, where I am most comfortable, I can say no easily if I need a break. But ‘out there’ where I am still nervous of people judging my ability to handle all things, I rarely say no.
Ha! That is such a good point! Toddlers say it all the time and as adults we (I) can’t for the life of us. I’ve had to say it a few times this year at work, which killed me, but afterwards it made me feel better!
I like the thought of saying no can mean saying yest to yourself. Great point and one to defintiely keep in mind.
As an adult saying no is liberating when combined with work. I love this post, came in just at the right time when I’m wrestling with office politics.
I love the way you put it. I’m slowly saying no to many things that can make my life more difficult and it feels pretty good 🙂
Oh! That was priceless! I love it! I’m going to say NO all day today. 🙂 Your so right!!!
xoxo, Lisa
You’re right there. I try and say no sometimes, it is hard but I need to stop taking on more than I can handle.
Saying “no” is something that I have been working on for a while now. It’s so liberating when I get to say “no”. It makes me feel like I’m in control!
I’ve learned to say no to many things, particularly professional opportunities that don’t serve a purpose for my long term success. It took a while but now I am listening to my instincts and only saying YES when my body feels it’s right.
The “no” recording is a brilliant, eye-opening touch that totally demystifies saying no. What powerful wisdom: that it’s not the words but context. You encourage us to look at ourselves and what’s keeping us from saying YES!
–i’m playing the recording and my cat is going nuts! running to the window… HAa
Ah! Ineeded this! At what point are we taught to conform to others before us? Great question! My daughter, like yours, has no problem in saying NO very lod and clear. Do I want to change that? No..or others..but I do love her “YES.”
“No” is a fabulous answer and quite freeing. You start to see how the world manipulates you once you get past the guilt!
WOW I love this post!! Short, sweet, and whip-smart. And so very true. I struggle with this all the time. I neglect my own needs in other to say “yes” to others. I need to stop this.
I’m thankful for not having a huge issue in saying no! My sis on the other hand does, and we’ve helped her get through that need to say yes to everyone and everything no matter what. It’s simply not healthy. My father saw the increasing problems it was creating in her life and bought her a really well-written book on how to say no and yes to yourself. I should get the title and share with you!
Life is so synchronistic – I wrote about exactly the same thing on exactly the same day as you, albeit from a slightly different perspective. Isn’t Life grand?
I’m so happy to have found your blog via Vidya and Zenmama ~ I’m definitely coming back.
Thanks for the cute ‘no’ – it was adorable.
Elle
xoxo
I’ll go check out your post as soon as I get a chance.