This week’s The Flying Chancla Report is a cautionary tale of how the use of a chancla got Hattie Reynolds, a 95-year-old grandmother from Daytona Beach, Florida arrested.
What had happened was…
Hattie was pissed because her 46-year-old granddaughter Janeen Williams was laying in bed “soaking up the air conditioning” that Hattie pays good money for. It is unclear if Janeen is part sponge or if her skin just naturally soaks up air conditioning more than the average person’s skin. The point is that Hattie wanted Janeen OUT of the house.
I guess Janeen wasn’t happy about being accused of being a no-good-air-conditioning-soaker-upper because she got all loud about it and started yelling at her grandma.
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Hattie wasn’t havin’ it when Janeen started screaming at her so she grabbed her slipper and slapped Janeen across the face with it. Surely, you’ve heard of abuelas or mothers using chanclas to discipline their kids or grandkids. It’s totally a thing and apparently not just in the Latino community.
Once, Hattie was done chancla-slappin’ her granddaughter, she called the police to ask for help deescalating the argument. Little did she know that call would end with her being thrown in the slammer.
When the police got to the scene of the chanclazo, Hattie admitted to using her chancla to smack her granddaughter and although Daytona Beach Police Chief Craig Capri later told the Daytona Beach News Journal that Hattie probably wasn’t a threat, she nonetheless got arrested because chancla-slapping your granddaughter is still considered domestic violence.
Hattie has since been released on her own recognizance. There was no mention of whether the chancla used in the crime was confiscated and kept as evidence.
The moral of this story:
If a 95-year-old abuela can’t get away with using a chancla on her 46-year-old granddaughter, then you better not use yours for anything other than walking on.
That’s it for now. I love you mucho and remember, spread love, not chanclazos!
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