Hola Chulas y Chulos! Let’s get right to the chisme of the week, shall we? We’re referring to it as Watermelongate because it’s so crazy scandalous. My chancla and I have been DYING to talk to you about it, but we’ve been so dang busy it took us a minute.
Basically, what happened is that chef James Briscione of Food Network’s “Man Crafted” made a video where he skillfully chops a watermelon, skewers and salts the chunks and then proceeds to cover the whole thing with taco seasoning. Cue the entire internet gagging because GROSS. Clearly, the man has lost his Caucasian mind.
Being of Mexican descent, I am a big fan of watermelon with Tajín or some kind of powdered chile on it; it’s delicious.
I even like watermelon with salt and lime on it, but taco seasoning? HELL NO!
OK, so my chancla is smackin’ me and telling me to show you the video of this man ruining a perfectly good watermelon before we continue. Here you go…
ok I'm sorry but I guarantee this is the worst video you will see today pic.twitter.com/UYJ3d4p4s9
— kelly (@earley) April 30, 2017
I’ll let you swallow the bit of upchuck in your mouth. You good? OK, moving right along.
When you get to the end of the video you can see that it was brought to you by McCormick makers of seasonings, which I’m sure includes that taco seasoning Briscione used to murder that watermelon.
I get it. I can imagine that McCormick wants to encourage customers to use taco seasonings in creative ways and either someone at McCormick or on Briscione’s team was like “Mexicans love to put powdered chili on their fruit so why not try it with taco seasoning?” I’ll tell you why not: BECAUSE NOOOOOOOO!
Well, the internet is not havin’ it with this ghastly combination, hence: Watermelongate on Twitter. You have to see some of these tweets because they are too freakin’ funny.
That moment when someone does something that leaves you wondering what the hell they were thinking.
I just seen a white man put taco seasoning on watermelon. pic.twitter.com/w4ySAxjwTS
— Belly Price (@MessyMyles) May 4, 2017
Briscione is getting no love for his creativity.
goodmorning to everyone except that asshole that put taco seasoning on a watermelon
— BUTTHURT GOTH SHAWTY (@SCAREBRAT) May 4, 2017
Then there are those who are all #TeamTacoSeasoning.
I wish i would walk in a kitchen and catch someone wasting taco seasoning on a watermelon. pic.twitter.com/62w6WNwYlI
— Otto Rocket (@itzCharlieBrown) May 3, 2017
ALSO READ: 17 Signs You Grew up Mexican
Sometimes you just want to slap some sense into a fool.
— Amanda Debus (@RealADebus) May 4, 2017
Most reacted with restrained horror.
Add some salt to your watermelon, and finish with taco seasoning pic.twitter.com/BZ1BsuHjyX
— Chesschire🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓 (@CheschireBacon) May 3, 2017
Others chanted a chorus of “nope, nope, nopity, nope.”
Salt and watermelon go together grew up on that, and I think a lot of African Americans did… now taco seasoning and watermelon…keep that pic.twitter.com/hbH7CEgHnA
— Ororo Munroe (@sheilae__) May 4, 2017
Some hit the bottle pretty hard.
he just… full on put taco seasoning on the watermelon…. pic.twitter.com/ncxlQ9qndH
— mirela 🇻🇪 (@inukrushme) May 4, 2017
In all fairness there are some who tried it and didn’t hate it.
— Real Country 95.5 (@realcountry955) May 5, 2017
Imma have to take their word for it because I’m not going there.
That’s it for this week’s The Flying Chancla Report. I love you mucho and remember, spread love, not chanclazos!
What do you think about taco seasoning on watermelon? Yea or nay?