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By Claudya

Funny San Francisco Latina Blogger

July 29, 2009 Claudya Martinez

Dog Days of Summer

I’m writing this post instead of packing for our trip to San Diego. We are ending our summer by flying down to San Diego to pick up a gas guzzling SUV I bought for $50, visit family, and then drive back home to San Francisco.

This is the very first time that we take Put Pie on a plane and a road trip. I’m sure it won’t be the last. I am so excited about having her meet my family. She’ll be surrounded by people who speak Spanish! Yay!

Taking my daughter on this trip reminds me of all the trips I took as child during the summer. I grew up in Los Angeles and summertime meant there would be at least one road trip. Sometimes we would head north to Sacramento or Roseville, but most of the time we would head south to Tijuana or Mexicali.

These trips had a huge impact on me. I wouldn’t be the person I am without those experiences.

One time I accompanied a friend of the family, La Soldada (I can’t remember her real name) to Mexicali. I was around 9 or 10 at the time and extremely shy. When we got to her family’s house I really had to pee. I went into their bathroom and all I saw was a bathtub and sink. I asked where the toilet was and I was told to go outside.

No big deal, I’d been to lots of places in Mexico that had outhouses, but when I went outside it was so dark I could hardly see a few feet in front of me. The outhouse looked terrifying. I did not want to go in there where it would be pitch dark and I’d never been in there before. What was I supposed to do? Feel my way around! Yuck!

I decided I would just have to squat and pee in the yard. No one would see me anyway. Well, I dropped my pants and chonies, squatted, and started to pee. Mostly, I felt relief after holding it in for so long, but then I started to feel something really strange. I can only describe it as a warm wet lapping sensation. I looked over my shoulder ( mind you I’m still peeing ) and I find myself looking into the eyes of the mangiest dog I have ever seen.

I ended up falling forward into the dirt while this dog was still trying to lap at my nether regions. I wasn’t even done peeing, but there was no way I was going to finish with that pee-loving dog around! I pulled up my chonies and pants, and ran into the house.

I was so mortified, I couldn’t tell anyone. I mean, I didn’t even really know these people, I wasn’t about to tell them that there dog had been intimate with me. I sat there and waited and waited until everyone went to bed and fell asleep, then I walked into the bathroom and peed in the bathtub.

This most certainly is not one of my favorite road trips from childhood, but I will never forget it and I learned some valuable lessons. If I’m ever in a similar situation I will take a flashlight to the outhouse, if there is no flashlight then I’m peeing in the bathtub -DEAL WITH IT!

I hope my daughter never has a mangy dog lapping at her nether regions, but I do hope she has many wonderful trips filled with adventures, family, and Spanish.

This post was inspired by prompt #4 of this weeks Writer’s Workshop.

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Comments

  1. Tammy Howard says

    July 30, 2009 at 10:23 am

    Well THAT'S the sort of experience one never forgets!!!Have a wonderful trip!

    Reply
  2. blankKekibird says

    July 30, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    I hate those moments when you are too embarrassed to mention to someone what happened. I've had a few of those. Have a blast on your way down here! Hopefully the little one will do well!

    Reply
  3. blankLa Belle Mere UK says

    July 30, 2009 at 7:02 pm

    Eugh…. poor you!! Funny story!Have a great trip.

    Reply
  4. blankSingle Mama NYC says

    July 30, 2009 at 7:34 pm

    If you don't stop with the similarities I'm gonna start asking my family if there was a sister of mine that was given up for adoption or something – or hell, maybe I was adopted!I have a VERY similar story – me at 5 years old, visiting my Uncle and his family in Pittsburg, California (yep, Pittsburg, California!), and a dog lapping at my nether regions when I went to the bathroom. LOL, I've never told anyone that story either! Too weird.

    Reply
  5. blankTania @ Larger Family Life says

    July 30, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    Oh no! You poor thing! And is it really bad that I laughed?

    Reply
  6. blankMark says

    July 30, 2009 at 9:10 pm

    Wow, thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  7. blankBookLady says

    July 30, 2009 at 10:41 pm

    Ha! I am not laughing AT you, I'm laughing WITH you! Pobrecita! (like my limited Spanish?) I'm on the look out for Sundays in My City, see you then!

    Reply
  8. blankEl says

    July 30, 2009 at 3:54 pm

    What a tale, and so well told! You have to write a memoir, Mami!

    Reply
  9. blankMel Fraase says

    July 31, 2009 at 4:21 am

    Hee hee! Yes, hopefully your daughter's experiences will be a little LESS intimate!

    Reply
  10. blankangelcel says

    July 31, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    I'm surprised you didn't scream, I think I would have!

    Reply
  11. blankmichelle says

    August 1, 2009 at 3:22 am

    That's TOO funny. Worse thing that ever happened to me was that I peed into my shoe.

    Reply

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blankWelcome, I am your host Claudya Martinez. I'm a bilingual Latina raising multicultural kids in San Francisco. WARNING: I have a sense of humor that I'm not afraid to use. Hang out, stay un poco and let's get to know each other. Read More…

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