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By Claudya

Funny San Francisco Latina Blogger

June 24, 2016 Claudya Martinez

The Flying Chancla Report: Selena Gomez, Naughty New Theme Song, Zoe Saldana Cuddling in Cuba and FrankenMacCheetos

The Flying Chancla Report

Hola Chulas y Chulos! Hope you are somewhere enjoying chancla-wearing weather and sippin’ on something delicious. Are you ready for this week’s The Flying Chancla Report because it’s comin’ at your pompis like NOW?!

  • Did you catch Selena Gomez doing “Carpool Karaoke” with James Cordon? Pues, por si acaso…

    My chancla and I aren’t Selenators, but we are big fans of James Cordon and the whole “Carpool Karaoke” series and I have to say we (spoiler alert) enjoyed the roller coaster part.
     
    ALSO READ: Tortilla Art Is Totally a Thing and It’s Flippin’ Awesome

  • Hey, did you start binge-watching the fourth season of “Orange is the New Black” yet? My chancla and I only watched the first episode because I am really trying to savor this season and not watch it all too quickly because then I’ll have to twiddle my thumbs until season 5 comes out and honestly thumb twiddling is pretty boring.

    Anygüeys, the end of the first episode was awesome because of the song it closed with left me wickedly delighted. I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since I heard it and I don’t mind not one little bit. It’s pretty much my new theme song. It is performed by Folk Uke and is the sweetest sounding curse-infused song you will ever hear. Listen at your own risk because it uses the “F” word and the “MF” word and once you hear it you will want to sing it in the most inappropriate places.

  • When’s the last time I told you that my chancla and I love Zoe Saldana and her man bun wearing hubby Marco Perego? Let’s ogle them for a minute as they look all lovely dovey and perfect on a staircase in Cuba, OK?

    Cuba

    A photo posted by Zoe Saldana (@zoesaldana) on Jun 22, 2016 at 3:06pm PDT

    ALSO READ: Survivor’s Guilt, ‘Hamilton’ on Film and a Long Lost Podcast

  • Mark your calendars people, startingMonday June 27, select Burger King locations will be serving Mac n’ Cheetos, a mash-up of macaroni and cheese encrusted with and shaped like Cheetos. They will cost $2.49 for five pieces and surprisingly will only set you back 310 calories, although I’m not sure if the calorie count includes the side of ranch dipping sauce included. The FrankenMacCheetos creation will only be available for eight weeks or while supplies last so if you are interested you best plan a late night stoner-induced munch-fest soon. What do you think, will you be partaking?


     
    Call me psychic because I predict that an epidemic of orange-stained steering wheels is about to sweep the nation. Oh, and note to Burger King: Consider coming out with a Mac n’ Flamin’ Hot Cheetos version for all the Latinos that are hooked on getting red-stained fingers.

    ALSO READ: Depression Makeup, Sex toys, Tortilla Pods y Más

That’s it for this week’s The Flying Chancla Report. I love you mucho and remember, spread love, not chanclazos!

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Welcome, I am your host Claudya Martinez. I'm a bilingual Latina raising multicultural kids in San Francisco. WARNING: I have a sense of humor that I'm not afraid to use. Hang out, stay un poco and let's get to know each other. Read More…

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