Remember my brother, the heroin addict?
He left his family (wife and 5 year old son) to go to rehab and get better.
He came back after 6 months. I knew he was back, but honestly had no desire to talk to him.
Why? Because even after 6 months of rehab, I felt skeptical.
When I finally did speak to him, I still felt skeptical.
It’s always the same. He talks too fast and I feel like he’s trying to sell me a used car. Everything is just great and nothing is going to get in his way even though everything in his way is just the same as it was before he left. Same people, same problems, same everything. Sure, it’s doable when you are hundreds of miles away in the middle of Mexico rehabbing on a farm, but then you come back to the same crap marriage, the same crap neighborhood, and the same crap has a tendency to happen.
He’s been back for maybe a month…maybe…and today I find out he’s in jail. CRAP! For stealing I don’t know what, it doesn’t matter.
Same old crap.
I tell myself it no longer hurts and that I’m numb, but that numbness is a feeling in itself. So I write and share because I know I am not alone. I know that so many people have brothers or sisters or mothers or fathers that are addicts or maybe they themselves are the addict. Doesn’t matter, it’s just CRAP!
I am so sorry you are going through this…it is a crap. A crappy feeling for everyone. And even though you say you are numb, I know you are feeling something. The hurt & the loss never goes away.
(((HUGS))) No matter how numb we are, there’s this spark inside that wants it all to work “this time”. It’s not even an expectation, just this tiny thing you can’t make go away…at least, it’s been that way for me with certain family members. I’m thinking of you…shaking my head at your brother, just as you are. Sigh. I’m sorry ((HUGS)).
yeah, my nephew and brother in law. Can you believe my freaking nephew stole my 84 year old mother in law’s air conditioner for the copper to gain money for meth? She was standing in the front yard crying, begging him to stop…in the middle of Texas…in August. It get’s to be too much.
I’m sorry ….it sucks! It’s a sickness. You have to worry about your babies and their future and your life first. Hope he gets the help he needs.
Lord,
I don’t know what else to do or say but pray. I ask that You put your protective hands on the family, but most especially wife and son. I know she sits alone at night and cries. I know she feels so alone and helpless. I know she feels like giving up one minute and then puts on the fantasy of a “fireproof” marriage. Lord, speak to her in a mighty way. Ease the burden of the child. Let him know that it is never his fault. Show him that he is good enough and worthy of love. Show this family how to help this man. Bring loving Life Changers to them that will mentor them and show them how to live for You and their family first. Addiction is such an ugly monster. If it be Your will that this man be lost to the drug, then Lord, please build something beautiful from the ash of destruction. Protect the future generation by teaching him of Your love, grace, and mercy. Teach his mother to rely on You. Thank You for Your love. Let Your mighty presence be know in this situation. We give You the glory. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Thank you.
I am so sorry to hear this. Addiction is a terribly hard thing on not just the addict, but also the family. I can understand you not wanting to be around your brother. It’s your way of mentally protecting yourself. It’s so hard to have to keep going through the same stuff over and over again. I hope he finds the help he needs.
I am so sorry, that is so sad. ((HUGS))
yes, it is crap, indeed.
I’m so sorry you and your family have to go through this.
Thanks Heidi. It sucks.
Addiction is a an evil, evil bitch. I hate her.
A few of my blogging buddies have kids who are drug addicts. Their stories tear me apart. Addiction is a bitch.
We have one in our family, too; Mr. Eva’s nephew. In and out of jail for theft, drug possession, etc. We’ve never gotten him to rehab, though. He says he doesn’t have a problem.
I am so sorry, Mai. It sounds like you have learned to distance yourself some for
self-protection but I know it still hurts anyway.
I know that it must really hurt to see your brother go through so much. Lots of prayers that he finds his something that breaks him of this terrible cycle.
ugh i am sorry…that sucks…i dunno what to say people have to want to change..
Addiction sucks. And it hurts so many people – not just the addict.
I’m sorry you are going through this cycle with him again. Sending love your way and praying for you.
I’m soooo sorry. I can relate more than you might think – – – my hubby’s been to rehab. I hold my breath every day praying and hoping he never goes back to his substances of choice.
E – mail if I can be of more help even just as a set of ears.
Thank you so much.
Sorry to hear that your brother fell back into his old ways. Some habits are so hard to break. Better not to start them in the first place. I hope at some point he can find better coping skills and straighten out his life. Hang in there.
It is hard to have that cycle start again. You want to hope but you protect yourself from hoping too much…that may not make much sense but that’s what I have felt. I love my brother too. Jail stopped him for a while, rehab for another bit of time, and a heart attack from damaged valves has been a wake up call for the last several months.
I’m powerless to stop him but I can love his kids and be there for them, I can stop him from being around my kids if he’s high, and I can tell him to knock it off when he’s giving me bullshit and then tell him I love him and hope he’s around to see his daughters graduate from college and high school.
(((un abrazo))
Drugs are the Devil.
Thinking of you today, Mama. Xxx Hugs
My Inner Chick http://myinnerchick.com
The addiction and his behavior is crap but I since you take the time to write about him he must not be. All the best. It’s too bad I can’t offer you more than a few words. I certainly don’t understand why life sucks more for some than others but it does.
That would break my heart if I went through something like this with my brother. But everyone else is right…you just have to worry about you and your own little family. Sorry you have to go through it!
My sister is not a drug addict, but as far as I know she is living in a homeless shelter right in my city. She has depression, and she will not deal with it.
I am past anger, but I understand your profound feelings of helplessness and frustration nonetheless.
It is crap.
So sorry for your loss. That seems the only thing to say.
I’m so sorry for your pain. Sending a hug your way.
It is true that some of our relatives we must love from afar. We have a nephew that says he has turned his life around and we do hope for the best – – but it is difficult to trust. I do hope your loved one will get his eyes opened and seek God for help. Even then God can only do a certain amount – it is up to the individual to make a quality choice!
{{{HUGS}}}, no matter how awful he is, you can’t stop loving him… which makes it crap I’m sure!
I would give ANYTHING to have a brother again, even a crap one. (both my brothers died in accidents)
TMI sorry.
Oh Mami, That just stinks. I am so sorry.
xoxo jj
When it’s someone we love we keep thinking “they will be better when…” but the truth is they won’t get well until they want to (if ever.) I feel your pain.
I’m sorry, Mami. 🙁
I really want to give you a hug right now, even though you say it no longer hurts.
I will accept your virtual hug. It’s always going to hurt no matter what I tell myself or others.