This week I realized that when I really want something I can make it happen even when it seems like it’s not going to happen. I guess it has to do with the Universe conspiring to make me happy and I’m not opposed to being happy.
On May 20, I will celebrate another birthday. I will be 42-years-old. I’m just starting to peak. It doesn’t suck to be a late bloomer. In fact, it’s kind of awesome.
A few years back there were some dark moments. Nothing truly awful, just my state of mind. I felt like there was no way out of where I was, like no progress was being made, like it was all just going to be a whole lot of the same thing and a whole lot of the same struggles. I was wrong. Things weren’t all that dark, I was making progress, there are a whole lot of possibilities and there always have been, all the struggles have led to successes.
I spend most of my days writing. Writing helps me get to know myself better and the better I get to know my self, the kinder I am to myself.
There are moments in my life where joy is palpable. Moments of sheer bliss where I can not believe my good fortune. When I first started to spend “real” time with the man that is now my husband, joy was everywhere. I felt it in the spaces between my fingers and toes, I felt it surrounding my heart, I felt it even when I doubted that what I was feeling was “real” because joy isn’t supposed to last.
Joy has been so palpable lately that I can almost hold its hand throughout the day and snuggle up to it at night. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I deserve such joy or that what I am feeling joyful about it truly worth being joyful about, but I have no desire to fight joy. I am not opposed to being joyful.
And now your Friday Fortune Cookie
(don’t forget to add “in bed” at the end, if you are so inclined):
Just give in to joy.
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