On a recent walk with my two daughters, my youngest, Luna Pie started making up songs. Mostly she was chanting our names over and over and claiming it was a song. I won’t lie, it was super cute, but the kid has to learn that this is a harsh world, so I started making up lyrics that were so much better than hers. She is 3-years-old and I am 43-years-old. I kick her butt as a lyricist any day of the week.
My songs were hilarious and both Luna Pie and my eldest, Put Pie, were cracking up at lyrics like, “Luna Pie, Luna Pie, Luna Pie likes to fart and cry!” Good stuff, right?
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Oh, the girls were laughing and trying to come up with lyrics that rivaled mine, but really they were nowhere near as brilliant until we turned a corner and caught up in the moment, Put Pie failed to notice that the sidewalk was full of strangers. Normally, strangers bring out the shy in Put Pie, but not this time, this time she belted out for all to hear, “My mami has a penis!”
Now, I can assure you that I do not have a penis. At least I didn’t the last time I checked. I would have told the strangers that I don’t have a penis, but that would have come off very, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks” and truth be told, I do not think that there is anything wrong with a lady having a penis, so I didn’t want to act like I did. Instead, I just kept walking.
Fortunately, I live in San Francisco and the people we passed by appeared to be locals because they didn’t react at all. Locals are not at all be shocked or upset by a woman with a penis or a kid screaming that her mom has a penis. I love it!