Officially there is no actual wedding season as one is allowed to marry any time of the year, but we all know that from April to October wagon loads of folks tie the knot. Sometimes as a guest, friend or family member we are called upon to give bridal advice and even if we have good advice rattling around somewhere in our cabeza we draw a big ol’ blank when asked. Well, here are some bridal advice thought starters from me to you…
1. It’s not about the dress. I know you know this, but it bears repeating, it’s not about the dress or the venue, or the party or the gifts. Don’t get lost in or stressed out by the details. What it’s really about is declaring your love in front of your community of loved ones and asking for them to support your commitment.
2. Wear comfortable shoes. Okay, it might not be about the dress, but you definitely need to put some thought into the shoes you’ll be wearing on you wedding day because no matter how beautiful they are if they are not comfortable, they won’t work. Bloody feet and blisters are NOT cute. Find a pair that you love to look at and love to walk in.
3. Love big. Be ostentatious with your love. Declare it daily, multiple times a day. I’m serious. Say, “I love you” to your loved one every single day more than once. It matters. Love likes to be spoken, love grows when it is acknowledged.
4. Fight small. You’ll fight, you’ll even have BIG fights, it’s normal, but fight small. By that I mean be respectful, don’t fight to demolish, fight to be understood if you have to and fight to understand the other person and then make up.
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5. Take care of each other. Be healthy together, be creative together, be funny together, feel safe together. Be each other’s biggest advocate.
6. Get some sleep. You know how they say you should never go to bed angry? Well, sometimes you really need to get some sleep or you really need to let the other person get some sleep because people have to work in the morning. So go to bed at a reasonable hour. Don’t fight until the wee hours of the night. You can deal with it tomorrow and the next day because guess what? You’re married and yes, of course, you are going to have to deal with it, but it doesn’t have to be at the expense of sleep and sometimes sleep gives you clarity and helps you let go of some anger.
7. Pay attention to each other. Listen to each other. Be invested in each other and each other’s growth. Don’t ever assume you know your partner so well that you know what they are about to say or do. People evolve.
8. Be polite. Sure you can fart and burp in front of each other and I’m sure you will do much worse, but it never hurts to say “please,” “thank you” and “excuse me.” Manners are nice and let a person know that you care even though you just dropped a stink bomb that makes them feel like they got punched in the face by poop.
9. Do not talk smack about your partner to your mother. Or father or anyone who is going to hold petty stuff that you are pissed about at the moment against your love forevermore. I mean you can’t blame your mom for taking your side, she’s your mom so watch what you say about your significant other to her. You can bitch to a close girlfriend who gets that you are momentarily irritated instead.