I’ve never been one to make friends quickly. I’m not one of those people who strikes up conversations with strangers. If anything, I avoid any such contact. I’ve always been fine spending time alone. I don’t mind being social, but I prefer to be a bit of a hermit.
Until…Mamihood.
Being a mom can be quite isolating. Yeah, sure it’s rewarding and I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but it’s exhausting and you don’t get much feedback on what a good job you’re doing. Friends and family members without kids don’t really get it and friends and family with grown kids don’t quite remember. ( I think as with all trying situations you block out the difficult moments and idealize the good.)
So, what’s a Mami to do? You go cruisin’ for Mamis/Mommies.. A Mami with a child around the same age as yours will do. People you never would have imagined being friends with before being a parent all of a sudden seem quite desirable because you know you won’t have to explain yourself to them. You’ll make a baby related joke and they’ll get it. If you run out of wipes or diapers they’ve got your back. If you need advice, they’ll give it to you. Best of all, they’ll let you just vent.
ALSO READ: Cruisin’ for Daddies
Actually, it’s pretty awesome. If I’m feeling starved for adult company all I have to do is get Put Pie all dolled up and take her for a walk to a nearby park or playground. Inevitably, you will pass another parent with a stroller and you’ll smile. If you are both into it, you start talking by focusing on the kids.
I think someone should come up with a list of pick up lines for Mommies.
Here are a few basic ones:
How old is the little one? (If you are not sure of gender, always err on the side of caution.)
What’s the baby’s name? (Again, with this one remember that many children have gender non-specific names so don’t assume Dylan is a boy or Kimberly is a girl.)
How do you like your (insert name of baby carrier here-i.e. BabyBjorn, Ergo, Moby)?
Follow ups to this include asking about inserts, weight limits, back pain.
Praise is always a good way to start. Wow, I can’t believe your baby can crawl at 18 moths; that’s amazing!
Now that I’ve been cruisin’ for mommies for months I’m pretty cocky. Sometimes I give a quick smile and look away quickly. I’m not in a rush to meet them, I know they want me as much as I want them. I let myself enjoy the chase. Sometimes it’s like taking candy from a baby.
A word of caution to those of you who may find yourself cruisin’ for Mommies: don’t settle for any old Mommy. Remember that if you set up play dates, the dates are just as much for you as they are for the kids. You don’t want to get stuck with a Mommy that drains you. Your time is limited. So if you find you are not compatible, just keep on cruisin’.
Image via amira_a/Flickr
Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com
said…
There is nothing like too much solitude to get you to scout(hunt)down
some new friends!! Motherhood is awesome, but it goes get lonely!
September 2, 2009 5:48 PM
Flory
said…
What a clever post! Pick up lines – LOL!!!Sassy Chica sent me by.
September 2, 2009 5:55 PM
blueviolet
said…
Mommy pick-up lines…love it!
September 2, 2009 6:09 PM
Tammy Howard
said…
I remember cruising for Mommies. Being nervous about whether they’d
like me or not. Waiting for them to call – they said they’d call – why
haven’t they called? Will they like this outfit? Too much? Not
enough?Yeah – it all seems pretty familiar…
September 2, 2009 6:37 PM
Patty
said…
I’m not a mother so you are absolutely right in that I don’t always get
it. Yet I hate the sort of tension between parents and non parents. I
just don’t think it’s for everyone. I think it’s great that you
are cruising for mami’s or mommies. If I do become a mother I’ll be
sure to refer back to your questions. Oh and your posts about your hubby are too cute. How sweet are you?
September 2, 2009 7:19 PM
Sassy Chica
said…
I love the Mommy pickup lines…too cute!I am also guilty of setting a playdate or two (okay maybe five) to get some mommy playtime!Smooches,Sassy Chica
September 2, 2009 7:26 PM
Sassy Chica
said…
This post has been removed by the author.
September 2, 2009 7:26 PM
Scrappy Girl
said…
Love this! I so need to go out on a limb and make some new friends…I need to get away from my inlaws…LOL!
September 2, 2009 7:47 PM
Mom of Three
said…
Oh my gosh, mommy pick up lines. Too funny. But see that’s why I like blogging. You meet people who just get it. 🙂
September 2, 2009 8:04 PM
Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)
said…
You crack me up!! Mommy Pick Up Lines! Love it!! 🙂
September 2, 2009 8:38 PM
Green-Eyed Momster
said…
This is a great post! How funny! Mommyhood can be isolating. Us women need to stick together to help each other out!Hugs!!
September 2, 2009 8:55 PM
Charlotte
said…
Totally isolating!!
September 2, 2009 9:00 PM
latinmomof4punks
said…
LOL!!! “Funny”.I think I did use a pick up line when meeting my few Mommy friends?? Ha!!~Amor, Familia Y Cultura~ Betty
September 2, 2009 9:19 PM
crazyoatie
said…
I can relate now so thanks for re-posting this. I’m so looking forward
to being able to take the girls out when their a bit older and cruise
for mommies.
September 3, 2009 12:50 AM
Frau
said…
Those days were easy, it’s hard to make new Mommy friends when you have a teenager. Any pick up lines for teens mommy friends?
September 3, 2009 1:25 AM
Helen McGinn
said…
*L* You are so cool. I went from a person who made friends
easily to a complete strangeoid…post-natal depression, no matter how
mild, will do that to you. I found it incredibly hard work talking to
anyone and would smile and chat like a crazy person, heading home with a
sore head and throat.I’m back to ‘normal’ now and every day,
when I talk to my friends or strike up a conversation with a stranger or
get invited for coffee, I appreciate it so much because I remember how
hard it was and how isolated I felt before.So for those who find it hard or wonder where your mojo has gone, don’t worry, it comes back and then some! ;O)
September 3, 2009 3:01 AM
Doodles
said…
I love your post it’s great.
September 3, 2009 5:06 AM
Jen
said…
Love the pick-up lines. I have used a few of them myself.
September 3, 2009 5:54 AM
Life with Kaishon
said…
Oh my gosh SO funny : ) You are hilarious. Is your baby the one with the
curly hair? How fun is that? I laughed my head off last night when you
said your favorite name was put pie : )
September 3, 2009 5:57 AM
kisatrtle
said…
Very funny and very true..I’ve had some very scary play dates. Moms gone wild. But alas I’ll save that for another post
September 3, 2009 6:23 AM
Dianna@KennedyAdventures
said…
ooooh, you slick cruiser, you!
September 3, 2009 6:27 AM
SupahMommy
said…
“they want me..”lmao… I’m a mommy cruisin has been.:)My
favorite is when everyone is sitting apart at a play area etc.. not
bonding YET.. then some nuttso kid starts being a total poop head…
and then you all start watching the mommy to see hows she’s goinna
handle it.. and when she doesn’t… you all start glancing at each other
in disbelief. That’s the beginning of the dance. 🙂
September 3, 2009 6:59 AM
Michelle
said…
Oh so true so true… but don’t forget the benefit of the parents of
kids just older than yours who can offer advice (e.g., when do you have
to register for what, what isn’t worth it, what do you do in stage X)
and who can pass down the clothes their kids have outgrown…. I love
those mommmy friends, too!
September 3, 2009 7:13 AM
JennyMac
said…
HAHAHA…love these. And the play date pic is adorable.
September 3, 2009 7:53 AM
confused homemaker
said…
I’ll have to make note of this when I try to make new Mommy friends. It
got easier once the kids started pre-K, more planned events to talk
w/out feeling like a total weirdo.
September 3, 2009 9:13 AM
Jeanette
said…
So funny and so true! So how old is your little one? (wink, wink)
September 3, 2009 9:15 AM
mikeg
said…
even tho im a papi, ive done this mami cruisin…no, not in a bad way.
in the way that you describe here and it was very helpful to get past
those long days at the park, play structure, etc. keep cruisin!
September 3, 2009 9:36 AM
Christina
said…
Thanks for stopping by! 🙂 CUTE post! LoVe it! I’m so lucky that I
live in my little small town where I can meet up w/ my gal pals and not
have to Mommy-date.
September 3, 2009 11:56 AM
Erin
said…
And to think I’ve been Mommy Cruisin for a couple of years now and didn’t even know it! hahaLoved the pick up lines!
September 3, 2009 1:19 PM
Mrs4444
said…
You’re funny; I loved this post.Don’t forget the always-popular, “Pssst. Your boob is leaking.” Oh, wait a minute; that one probably won’t work.
September 3, 2009 8:35 PM
Multiple personalities..
said…
You are spot on about our kids being avenues to adult friendships with
fellow moms. I’m the same way, a bit of a loner, don’t have tons of
friends. But my few good friends are fellow mommies I met at one of my
kids activities, mostly at martial arts class. And you’re right, don’t
just settle for some random mommies, you never quite know what you’ll
get. 🙂
September 3, 2009 9:07 PM
sarah m
said…
Ohh this is great advice! Definite note to self. Great post! 🙂
September 4, 2009 11:49 AM