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By Claudya

Funny San Francisco Latina Blogger

August 24, 2011 Claudya Martinez

My Version of Hell

All agents are busy assisting other customers. An agent will be with you as soon as they are available.

Repeat countless times until the tinny drone becomes more familiar than your heartbeat. 

Finally get someone on the line that transfers you to another department because although they understand your frustration they can not help you.

All agents are busy assisting other customers. An agent will be with you as soon as they are available.

Repeat countless times until the tinny drone makes you want to hear nails scraping on a chalkboard just for variety.

“Hi this is so and so, may I please get the 10 digit number you are calling from. Blah, blah, blah. How may I help you?”

Explain something that is far too convoluted to make sense.

“Okay, I’m going to have to transfer you to sales so that they can help you.”

Ugh, sales is the department that transferred you to this person in the first place. Don’t even fight it. There is no point.

“Hi, it is So and So again. I spoke to sales and it turns out….”

It turns out you didn’t even have to call in the first place.

Son of a ….

Hell is other people. –No Exit, Jean Paul Sartre

Hell is being stuck in the “Customer Service” phone loop of some giant conglomerate. -Unknown Mami

 

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Comments

  1. Rebecca says

    August 24, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    Yes! I totally agree.  I scream and need lots of Xanax or something anytime I get on the pyramid calling things.  Makes me need a stiff drink just thinking about it.

    Reply
  2. Classic NYer says

    August 24, 2011 at 6:10 pm

    You know, sometimes I think they just put people in loops like that to amuse themselves. “Hey, check it out, I got an Unknown Mami on the line… I’m gonna send her to tech, give her a few minutes, and then send her back to me. This’ll be a hoot!”

    Reply
  3. blankPheromone Girl says

    August 24, 2011 at 8:23 pm

    You actually spoke to PEOPLE? I seem to get stuck pressing one and then listen to hold music for a while before I get disconnected, only to start again.

    Reply
  4. blankHilary says

    August 24, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    I should have taken a good look around for you yesterday when I was in hell, myself. I so feel your frustration. 

    Reply
  5. blankHeidi says

    August 24, 2011 at 9:00 pm

     Ugh! And I hate when they make you punch in your account number, zip code, mother’s telephone number, etc.. and then ask you for it again when a “live” person comes on the line.

    Reply
  6. blanklisleman says

    August 24, 2011 at 9:22 pm

    did you ever watch my little video clip about this?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lACNuezEDhk

    Oh the joys of customer disservice.

    Reply
  7. blankMonkey Man says

    August 24, 2011 at 11:46 pm

    What were you calling….the department of redundancy department? Did you get to talk to “Peggy”? 

    Reply
  8. blankEva Gallant says

    August 24, 2011 at 11:48 pm

    Isn’t that the truth!

    Reply
  9. blankCyndy DysFUNctional Mom says

    August 25, 2011 at 12:16 am

    I agree completely!  I hate making phones calls any more for these reasons.  Crazy!

    Reply
  10. blanksunshine says

    August 25, 2011 at 2:19 am

    I can surely relate!

    Reply
  11. blankjules says

    August 25, 2011 at 2:30 am

    I TOTALLY agree….soooo aggravating.

    Reply
  12. blanktracismixedbag says

    August 25, 2011 at 3:13 am

    I think that’s a common hate, I also hate calling people in general and texting but I’d rather text than call. Facebook me, is my answer to everything.

    Reply
  13. blankThe Bipolar Diva says

    August 25, 2011 at 4:30 am

    agreed!

    Reply
  14. blankSandra says

    August 25, 2011 at 4:59 am

    Personally, I find that sitting at my computer while I’m being transferred from department to department allows for multitasking: can blog about shitty customer service while receiving it!

    Reply
  15. blankLindsay Advincula says

    August 25, 2011 at 5:40 am

    OMG I hate when that happens! It’s like, can’t YOU just help me?? 

    Reply
  16. blankHolly says

    August 25, 2011 at 2:11 am

    No kidding. “Customer service” voicemail and their endless, pointless options are maddening.

    Reply
  17. blankChris H says

    August 25, 2011 at 10:11 am

    We have the same problems here!  If I ring Telecom I end up talking to someone in the Philipines, who cannot even understand what I am saying!
    Even worse, they re-direct you over and over again, so you end up spending half your day on the phone and still don’t get to talk to the right person.  Grrrrrrr.
    And don’t even get me started on ‘Automated voices’ who ask you to say what you want… and then say they don’t understand YOU…. over and over again.   *sigh*  You are not alone.

    Reply
  18. blankKimberly says

    August 25, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    People on the other end of the line are definitely not masters of customer service anymore are they? It’s maddening! I honestly believe that they transfer you because nobody trained them and they don’t know what they are doing.

    Reply
  19. blankAutismWonderland says

    August 25, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    sigh…i miss the days of the good old fashioned operator. 

    Reply
  20. blankAnonymous says

    August 25, 2011 at 6:57 pm

    I have done that way too many time.  I hate it!

    Reply
  21. blankJenna Foote says

    August 26, 2011 at 1:10 am

    Amen!!

    Reply
  22. blankAudreyoka says

    August 26, 2011 at 1:53 am

    Next time, begin your call by asking for a supervisor. That’s what’ I’ve done many time, then if they insist on transferring me I ask them to stay on the line with me as I don’t want to be lost in their transfer center. It helps.

    Reply
  23. blankEmmy says

    August 26, 2011 at 3:25 am

    Seriously why does calling a company have to be so hard! At least you were talking to a human 🙂

    Reply
  24. blankCnceltica says

    August 26, 2011 at 3:32 am

    As I read your blog and read mine it’s hard to imagine us as young college kids. Remember?

    Reply
    • blankunknownmami says

      August 26, 2011 at 4:14 am

      Barely.

      Reply
  25. blankAnonymous says

    August 26, 2011 at 11:41 am

    Most of the time we email companies instead of being on hold forty five minutes. Now that I am not working, I find that I do have more patience since I have more time without responsibilities. I know it is frustrating going in circles with different people in customer service departments. Some companies know how to train their employees so they can actually be of help. 

    Reply
  26. blankMrs4444 says

    August 28, 2011 at 6:32 am

    I heard today that there’s an app that will do the “hold” thing for you and CALL you when  human being answers the phone! (I have a dumb phone, so I can’t tell you which app it was, sorry)

    Reply

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blankWelcome, I am your host Claudya Martinez. I'm a bilingual Latina raising multicultural kids in San Francisco. WARNING: I have a sense of humor that I'm not afraid to use. Hang out, stay un poco and let's get to know each other. Read More…

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