Today, I stood there under the hot sun soaking in some vitamin D for a minute or two and I was actually proud of my ass. I’m proud of my ass, gente. I’m not being metaphorical here, I mean I was genuinely proud of my butt. This matters why? Not because I have a perfectly toned worked-out posterior, because I don’t. Not because it’s small, because it’s not. Not because it looks like JLo’s or Beyonce’s, because it doesn’t. I was proud of my ass because it’s mine and even though it’s bigger than it used to be, even though it’s not as tight as it used to be, it’s the only ass I have and why shouldn’t I be proud of it?
We all have body issues and I have a ton of them. I miss what I used to look like and it pisses me off that when I used to look like that I had NOT one bit of appreciation for it.
I look at old pictures of myself with a new eye because so much time has passed and I see the beauty in what I used to look like, but I remember what I felt like back then and it certainly wasn’t beautiful or comfortable in my body.
A lot of people dress to emphasize what they like about themselves physically (or they should because embrace yourself) and I would like to tell you that’s how I dress, that’s how I’ve always dressed—in a way that celebrates my body and what I like about it, but I’ve done the opposite. I’ve always dressed to hide, to hide my perceived flaws, to distract from what I don’t want others to notice. It makes me sad just thinking about it.
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Strangely, I’ve never really dressed to hide my ass because it just takes too much effort and really it’s not all that hide-able, plus wearing a sweatshirt tied around your waist all the time calls more attention to it anyway. So my butt unlike the rest of my body has always been allowed to just be without my constant criticism.
Here’s the thing though, which doesn’t really make much sense at all since I put my body down so much inside my head, I love my body. I really do. How do I know? Because if I were given the choice to keep my body or trade it for someone else’s I would not hesitate to keep mine, perceived flaws and all.
My body has served me incredibly well in this lifetime. When I’ve exercised regularly, it has responded; when I’ve fed it good nutritious food, it has thrived; when I’ve been careless with it, it still freakin’ tries and keeps on going. It has been my lifelong companion and I respect that kind of dedication, that kind of commitment.
So as I stood there today under the hot sun, I was proud of my big beautiful ass for no other reason that it’s mine and there is no reason why I shouldn’t love it. I hope that some day soon I am as proud of my whole body as I am of my ass.
What do you love about your body?