I’m going to tell you some things I really had no intention of telling you, but now after attending a screening of the movie, Won’t Back Down at the Metreon in San Francisco, I feel compelled to tell you…
I am afraid. I am afraid of failing my daughters. Not in a generalized way, but in a very specific and personal way…
You see I grew up poor. I don’t like to say it or tell people because “poor” is not how I ever saw myself or my family, but yes we were below the poverty line. I didn’t know that we were poor for most of my childhood because we had everything we needed. My mother (a single immigrant parent) kept us fed, clothed, and with a roof over our heads. Don’t ever make the mistake of thinking that poor people don’t work hard. It takes a lot of work to be poor and survive; it takes will, determination, and perseverance to be a member of the working poor.
I didn’t feel poor because my mother did a good job of providing for our necessities, but I also didn’t feel poor because I was getting a good education. It is one of the miracles of my life that I received a good education (my brother didn’t). I didn’t receive a good education because of my mother’s intervention, my mother only has a sixth grade education and did not know how to advocate for me on that front. I received a good education because of angels in the form of teachers helping me. I took to school and I got tracked into “gifted” classes and believe me that it has been one of the greatest gifts of my life.
Fast forward to the present. My family is still economically challenged. Public school is our only option. At the moment I am overwhelmed at the bureaucracy involved in trying to get my four-year-old daughter into a public preschool in San Francisco. I don’t get it and I feel like I’m in a Kafka novel and getting nowhere fast. We’re on a list with the other economically challenged families, but we don’t know where we are on that list (apparently that’s a secret), we don’t know anything other than we are told to wait until we hear of an opening. We’ve turned down a few possibilities because they just felt WRONG, but I guess economically challenged people are not supposed to get as many choices or we’re just supposed to be happy with the choices given. So for the moment I teach her at home, take her to library story time, and sign her up for classes through parks and rec, but every night I pray (in my own non-denominational way) for an opening at a great school because I know the power of a good education.
I’m writing this with a knot in my throat that formed while I was watching Won’t Back Down starring Maggie Gyllenhaal, Viola Davis, and Holly Hunter.
The movie centers around two women and their efforts to takeover a public school that is failing. The synopsis describes it as the story of…
Two determined mothers, one a teacher, who look to transform their children’s failing inner city school. Facing a powerful and entrenched bureaucracy, they risk everything to make a difference in the education of their children.
This movie hit too close to home. It made me ache in a familiar way. It made me want to run home and hug my babies and vow to them that I will do the very best to get them a good education.
Apparently, there is some controversy surrounding the movie and its accuracy. Here’s what I think: the movie tells a story about our public educational system and some of its failings. Of course it doesn’t tell the whole story, but it’s not meant to. It’s a movie “inspired” by true events, not a documentary. All controversy about accuracy aside, it spoke to me as a mother. It depicted my fears and hopefully it will inspire me to be the kind of advocate that my daughters need.
Do you think you’ll see it?
Disclosure: I was invited to a screening of the movie Won’t Back Down as a guest of Circle of Moms and Fox Studios and I was compensated for me time. All statements and opinions are my own. Also, I am a BIG fan of Maggie Gyllenhaal.
I’m excited about this movie because I’m a fan of the actors in it (I adore Maggie Gyllenhaal) and the trailer looks fantastic. It’s funny, my friend and I were talking about poverty recently. She grew up relatively poor, and it was only recently that she made that realization. They always had a roof over their heads and food on the table but not much more. On the other hand, I was an only child, in a two working parent, comfortable middle class home and had a great public and post-secondary education handed to me on a silver platter. Stories like this fill me with rage because the socialist in me thinks everyone is entitled to an easy, carefree childhood and a quality education.
I agree that everyone should have and easy, carefree childhood. In the world of my dreams a quality education is available to all.
Your determination and involvement will be the primary factors in getting your daughters the good education you want them to have. There is no “poor” in the love and hopes you have for them.
I can’t believe how hard it is to get a kid in any kind of school these days. It used to be you could just register a kid and tada, there you go. The kid would be set. But not anymore. That sounds like a very good movie. I think I’ll like to see it.
Goose bumps and tears watching the trailer…what a mom won’t stop at for her kids…you are a fighter and will get your girls a great education …because you care! Good luck!
I pretty much teared up just watching the trailer. I think it looks like a great movie.
Yes, I definitely would see it. I wanted to when I saw the previews but now I’d really like to see it. I love inspirational movies, mostly because I need that inspiration. I TOTALLY understand what you’re saying here and can relate. I’ve been experiencing some of the same things with my husband’s health coverage. Very well written, C.
Thank you. Bureaucracy kills me. I understand that systems need to be in place, but sometimes those systems fail and they adjust too slowly.
I’ll refrain from taking too much of a tangent on the poor thinking. I feel our culture did become more obsessed with consuming and buying possessions since my youth. Most of us know family, relationships, attitude, and other non-physical things are more important than our possessions but we still seem drawn into going after them. Tangent done.
Maggie Gyllenhaal – makes great movies – I enjoyed a PBS show about her ancestry. She found out that she is related to royalty hundreds of years back.
I agree with you on the “poor” tangent that’s why I don’t like to define my childhood or my current life as such. I have always been quite rich, just not by monetary standards.
Yes I figured you felt the same way. You know they say “time is money” well recently I’ve become very rich if that’s true.
I gave your blog an unsolicited shout-out.
http://afcsoac.blogspot.com/2012/09/she-makes-man-want-to-speak-spanish.html
I will definitely see this! Thanks for posting about it!
My pleasure. It’s a bit of a tear-jerker.
Ooooh, I really wanna see that…and I’m saying a prayer for y’all and the school situation. XO!
Thank you. I am open to any and all good vibes.
Looks good! I will try and check it out yeah. Thanks.
This comment has nothing to do with this post and I’m sorry about that but ‘a few clowns short mentioned you and said something about speaking/learning Spanish and I commented in VERY broke Spanish. I just wanted to copy and paste it here to see if I said what I think I said.
My comment on a few clowns short
“Como se llama…is that “What is your name?” I learned mucho poco
espaniol en escuela. En universitidad yo escuchar mi maestro. Ella
hablar mucho espanol. I didn’t understand a word she said.”
I learned very little Spanish in school. In college I listened to my teacher. She spoke a lot of Spanish”
You sentences read: What is your name? I learned much little Spanish in school. At university I listen to my teacher. She speak much Spanish.
oo this sounds like a really cool movie….def on the see list now…and we did not grow up with much and i am in the thick of it right now…making the least amount of money i have since graduating college….scary stuff but know i feel you on that level and you make do…
There’s a lot of controversy around the movie. Folks see it as anti-union and anti-teacher. I’m pro-union and pro-teacher and I came out of the movie still pro on both counts, but I also come from the perspective of someone who did not grow up with much and getting a good education when you are poor is tough.
This is a very touching perspective and I appreciate you sharing it so much! I remember having similar feelings — barely paying our rent and terrified of the SF public school lottery. But our schools are not (as) broken like the one in the film. The system is a pain in the rear, but it is full of good teachers and caring people. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions about SF public schools. and thank you for sharing! xoxo, robin (the foggiest idea)
Thank GAWD, they are not as bad as the one in the film. I do have a very good friend who teaches in Oakland and the school that she was at before she got transferred left much to be desired and really sucked the zest out of teaching. I have another friend who teaches middle school in San Francisco and loves his school, he also loves the elementary school that his son goes to. Teachers should be supported and why anyone would be against a stellar public school system is beyond me.
“It takes a lot of work to be poor and survive.” It sure does! I hope your daughters get into a great school. I would think where you live there would be a lot of options.
Education is such a topic of concern. I will definitely check out the movie. Have you seen the documentaries “Waiting for Superman” and “Race to Nowhere?”
No, I haven’t seen them.
I have never heard of this movie but definitely want to see it now. And yes, the education system is messed up. And good for you to keep fighting. I think there is something we all have to fight daily, whether it is a better school for our kids, fighting to protect and keep our kids safe from things we don’t find appropriate, fighting to help our keeps never want to give up. But as women and moms we are strong and we fight.
Sounds like somthing I would want to watch…I’m a former teacher.
It would be interesting to hear your take on it. So many people are coming out saying that is bashes teachers and unions and I just didn’t see it that way. For sure, it simplifies the issues, but I still came out of it pro-teacher and pro-union, but I could really identify with the frustrations of dealing with bureaucracy.
I’ve been a little MIA online, playing catch up! I hear you about education. Its very frightening. When we left SF I thought I was leaving behind the culture of having to enroll your child in preschool during pregnancy so that eventually my kid could get into the right high school- so much pressure! But it turns out its not much different here. I’m worried for the state of our education system, its one of those things that can make or break your path in life. I have a lot of teachers in my family so I hear their frustrations too. No easy answers on this one.
It was such an inspring movie! Great review. So happy I was finally able to meet you in person!! 🙂 Hopefully we’ll see each other again soon!
I can’t wait to see it. Regardless of the controversy I think it is important for our country to always work at making our schools the best!